


Scars To Your Beautiful

by jaybird6232



Series: Music Is Good For The Soul [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Bucky has two real arms, Complete, Dual POV, Engaged Natasha/Clint, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt Bucky Barnes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Other, Past Car Accident, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam and Maria own a Recording Studio, So many close calls, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, They will get married and live happily ever after, Top Steve Rogers, artist!Steve Rogers, attempted non-con, eventually, musician!Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:30:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9173785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaybird6232/pseuds/jaybird6232
Summary: “Hey hey hey, careful.” A voice soothes him. He feels a hand on his back that helps him sit up. When he opens his eyes, he sees the blonde hunk crouching down in front of him, looking at him.Bucky reaches over and touches the blonde’s face, trying to see if this angel of a human is actually real.“Hey, are you ok?” The voice tries again. He doesn't have the chance to respond. Bucky’s eyes roll up into the back of his head and he passes out.“Ohh fuck,”~~~~~Or the one where Steve Rogers saves a handsome brunet one day, and doesn’t realize that this stranger is about to become the most important person in his life.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this story has been in my archive for who knows how long. I’ve been meaning to post it, but I’ve been busy and I just finished finals last week and I’ve been spending time with my familia, sooooo, yeah.  
> Hope you guys enjoy this story; updates are typically twice a month if I’m lucky, but I’ll try extra hard to get this story completed for you guys <3  
> Come check me out on "Tumblr"!  
> Be sure to leave a comment/kudos if you like this! The support is amazing, you have no idea :)  
> Okay, I’ll shut up now and let you guys get to it.  
> Happy reading, lovelies!
> 
> (Title taken from Alessia Cara’s song, “Scars to your beautiful")

**_August 2016_ **

Bucky bursts out the door at a high sprint, racing down the hallway and crashing into the wall. Turning, he speeds down the steps, taking them two at a time, and nearly falling on his face over several occasions. He runs down the long hallway located at the bottom of the steps, and emerges into the outside world. 

Once outside, he runs from the college school building and towards the right. The sound of doors opening behind him pulls his attention. Glancing over his shoulder, he sees his pursuers hot on his tail. Facing forward again, he adjusts his backpack on his shoulders and continues at his high pace, running through mobs and crowds of college students trying to get to class. He turns another corner and races past the Art and Visuals building at top speed. 

“Okay Steve, see you next week, have a great weekend!” Mr. Coulson calls as Steve steps out the doors. 

“You too Mr. Coulson!” Steve says with a wave, ducking under the door frame. Being 6'1" and going to class where the doors stand at the height of 6 feet tall, well, it was a struggle to say the least. Ever since his growth spurt in his Junior year of high school, he's always had some sort of struggle. It was either the doorways were to small, a passageway was to narrow, or he was always looked up to, literally. 

There are benefits though. He was finally able to play on the football team when he had just gone through his huge growth spurt. The coaches wouldn't even let him near the field when he was skinny and small, for fear of him getting hurt. But when he grew thirty million inches over night (in his mind, don't judge him), the coaches had no problem letting up on their rule. So here Steve is, twenty-six years old, third year of college, tall and built like a damn Greek god, walking out of the Art building. He figured out that football wasn't his deal when high school was almost over, to the disappointment of the coaches. He preferred a different route, an artsy route. Illustration and visual and graphic art to be exact, along with the occasional sketch and painting here and there to add to his gallery that he plans to open once he graduates.

Adjusting his bag strap across his chest, Steve lets out a sigh of relief as he takes his first couple steps out the door. It's finally Friday. Fuckin’ finally. 

That is until he sees a brunet running like hell a few yards ahead of him. He's probably around 6’1’ish, like Steve. He's lean and fit, and that can be seen in the way he's running. When he turns his head to look behind him, he follows the brunet’s gaze and freezes in his tracks. A couple of his high school football buddies, who came to this same college with Steve, are chasing after the brunet, snickering and throwing snide remarks.

Bucky huffs as he turns the corner of the Art building and he keeps running until he reaches the New York streets, completely unaware that someone new also after him.

Running down the sidewalk, he twists and turns, trying to avoid the oblivious people in his way. With no where else to go, he turns down an alleyway. He runs to the end and turns to the opening on the left, hoping to find backway, only to discover that there isn't an exit. 

“Shit shit shit,” he mumbles to himself. He turns around, deciding to get out the way he entered, only to see the exact same people he was running away from are right there, their faces covered in smug, sultry smiles.

“Where do ya think yer goin' pretty boy,” Alexander Pierce says calmly as he approaches Bucky. His buddies aren't so nice. Brock and Jack lunge at him, pulling off his black backpack, and press him against the cold brick wall, paralyzing Bucky of all movement and escape. His arms and legs are pinned, and he can only hope and pray that he doesn't die, or worse.

“Alexander stop,” he says weakly, only to have Jack punch him in the stomach and then cover his mouth with his hands, pulling his head back to the wall, smacking it carelessly against the bricks with a hard _thud_. Bucky’s screams mumble through his hand, completely unable to be translated. He tries to bite his hand, but that only makes Jack's grip harder. 

“Shh shh shh, quiet now, don't want no one to hear yer screams,” Alexander approaches Bucky, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it to the side. He then steps right in front of him and stops. Slowly, Alexander undoes his own belt and takes that off too, throwing it atop his jacket. He grasps Bucky’s hips and pulls them towards him, slowly rotating them together. 

Bucky gasps through Jack's hand as he realizes how hard Alexander is. He ran from the school building because they had tried this over there. Tried pinning him onto a desk and raping him. But that didn't work. Turns out that Alexander was really sensitive to being stapled in the head. 

Alexander takes his hands off Bucky’s hips and steps back, and while keeping eye contact with him, he puts his hands down to his own jean button, and pops it open. Bucky begins to writhe against Jack and Brock, trying to escape, but to no avail. Alexander takes that movement the wrong way, thinking that Bucky finally sees why they should have sex. 

“Don't worry baby, don’t worry, daddy's gonna be inside ya real soon. Don't worry,” Alexander says as he slowly takes a couple steps toward Bucky, lowering his zipper. He reaches down to Bucky’s skinny jeans and lets his hands roam over Bucky’s crotch.

“Hey!” A voice calls angrily from the alleyway. All their heads turn and see Steve standing there, his bag tossed to the side and fists curled. 

“Why, hello Steven! Glad you could join us. Would you like to go first?” Alexander says smugly, clasping his hands and stepping out of the way to let Steve see who's on the sex menu for this afternoon. Bucky tries to make pleading noises, but Brock tells him to shut up and punches him in the gut. Jack removes his hand to let Bucky’s head fall forward. He chokes out a sob, coughing, and looks up to the blonde hunk a few feet in front of them. Steve takes one look at the brunet man pinned to the wall and his breath catches. He’s beautiful; stunning really. No wonder Alexander and his buddies wanted him. He looks into his eyes, and sees nothing but fear and the hope for escape. 

Looking and stepping towards Alexander seductively, moving his hips in a sultry manner, Steve responds with a fake smile on his face. “Yeah, I'll go first,” Steve's fist connects with Alexander's face before Alexander can even comprehend it. Another punch knocks him to the ground. Being the complete asshole that he is, Alexander gets up and runs from the alleyway, grabbing his belt and jacket along the way. Brock and Jack stare at each other with wide eyes. They throw Bucky to the ground and break out into a sprint, passing Steve and following Alexander.

Bucky groans on the ground, rolling over onto his back to make the breathing easier. He chokes out another sob as he attempts to sit up.

“Hey hey hey, careful.” A voice soothes him. He feels a hand on his back that helps him sit up. When he opens his eyes, he sees the blonde hunk crouching down in front of him, looking at him.

Steve rubs the brunet’s back slowly, seeing as how he’s slightly out of it at the moment. His loose hair, which was originally in a bun, is covering his face, so he tentatively reaches over and brushes it out of his face, tucking it behind his ear, and Steve’s immediately met with these big, blue-grey eyes and mile long lashes. Along with that is the rest of his handsome face, and he takes a minute to admire.

Bucky reaches over and touches the blonde’s face, trying to see if this angel of a human is actually real.

“Hey, are you ok?” The voice tries again. He doesn't have the chance to respond. Bucky’s eyes roll up into the back of his head and he passes out.

“Ohh fuck,”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Groaning, he looks over to the right, half expecting to see Alexander to be there. 
> 
> Instead, he’s face to face with a blonde haired, blue ocean-eyed hunk built like a damn Greek god. 
> 
> “Ahh!” Bucky yelps, scooting to the opposite end of the bed, trying to get as far away from the blonde as possible.
> 
> “Hey hey hey, easy!” Steve calls to the brunet, catching his wrist right before the brunet almost falls off the side of the bed.
> 
> Bucky looks up to the blonde and speaks. “Where am I?”
> 
> “You’re in my apartment,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, another chapter? So soon?  
> Yes, my lovelies. Felt kinda bad since I haven’t posted a story since November, so here ya go!  
> Enjoy! <3

Steve sighs as the cab pulls up to his apartment complex. Grabbing his wallet, he pays the driver with a small “thanks” playing on his lips. Pulling his bag and the brunet’s backpack over his shoulders, he gets out then reaches back inside, pulling out the unconscious man. Lifting Bucky into a bridal-style position, Steve kicks the car door closed and makes his way towards the building.

Walking through the door, he groans as he makes his way to the elevator. Pressing the button, he adjusts Bucky’s head on his shoulder, which makes him sleepily wrap his arms around Steve’s neck, snuggling his head deeper into his shoulder. Looking down at Bucky, Steve smiles softly and walks into the elevator.

As the elevator doors open onto his floor, he walks out and toward his door. He (not so well or that coordinated) manages to get his key and he unlocks the door, kicking it shut behind him as he walks in. He strolls through the no-man’s land between the kitchen and living room, and heads for his bedroom. Placing the brunet on his bed, he shrugs off the bags then turns his attention to the man on his bed.

Steve pulls off his Converse slowly, as not to disturb his sleep, then walks to the corner of the room and places them next to his, noting quietly to himself how much he enjoys seeing them there together. He shakes the thought out of his head. He doesn’t even know the guy for Christ’s sake, and he doesn’t even know if he swings the other way, towards men.

Going back to him, he slowly but surely gets Bucky out of his jacket, placing the denim wad onto his desk. He quietly pulls his desk chair next to the bed, then proceeds to the kitchen to retrieve a bowl. He comes back to the bedroom and then goes to his bathroom, filling up the bowl with warm water as he looks through his cabinets for a small towel.

Towel, bowl, and First-Aid kit from under the sink in his grasp, he goes back into the bedroom, sliding quietly into his chair. He begins to clean Bucky’s face, wiping off as much dirt and grime from the alleyway as he can. He pops open the plastic First-Aid box and retrieves some antibiotic, squeezing a small amount out of the tube and rubs it softly over a few cuts on the brunets face and arms. 

Overall Diagnosis of Unknown Brunet: Split lip, slightly bruised cheek, and bruises on his wrist and stomach. But it’s not like he checked there. He didn’t. Not at all.

Ok, maybe a litt—

Nope, not at all.

As he wrings out the small towel and begins to close up the First-Aid box, he hears a soft groan and a shift atop the sheets. Looking over at him, he sees confusion immediately wash over the brunet’s features.

Bucky blinks slowly, trying to gather his senses. He stares up at a… ceiling? Wait, how did he get here? Is this Alexander’s house? Did they actually catch him?? The last thing he remembers was staring into the ocean right before he passed out. But wai— that’s not possible. The NYU campus is miles from the ocean, so how…

Groaning, he looks over to the right, half expecting to see Alexander to be there. 

Instead, he’s face to face with a blonde haired, blue ocean-eyed hunk built like a damn Greek god. 

“Ahh!” Bucky yelps, scooting to the opposite end of the bed, trying to get as far away from the blonde as possible. Who is this blonde stranger, and why is he so stupidly hot?

“Hey hey hey, easy!” Steve calls to the brunet, catching his wrist right before the brunet almost falls off the side of the bed.

“Calm down,” Steve tries again. “I’m not gonna hurt you. It’s okay.” 

Steve lets go of the brunet’s wrist once he pulls him back into the middle of the bad. Steve lifts his arms up to show he means no harm, and backs away from the bed, letting the brunet have some space.

Bucky cautiously looks around the room, taking in every crevice and crack. It’s small, but it’s around the size of his apartment. His eyes sweep over to the window behind the blonde and he looks out, staring out into the August afternoon. But then he stops. Looking closer, he realizes that the view is exactly the same as it is from his apartment.

Bucky looks up to the blonde and speaks. “Where am I?”

It takes Steve a second to think properly. The brunet’s voice is thick and raspy from sleep, his Brooklyn accent lacing every word. Steve immediately loves the way it sounds. He doesn’t have time to relish in it, seeing as how Bucky is still looking up at him, his question being repeated off his lips. Oh my god, his lips, they— stop it Steve, goddammit.

“You’re in my apartment,” Steve manages to say. The brunet just rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, kinda gathered that much already. Ok, umm…lemme ask this differently, I guess. Where is your apartment, located, I guess? I’m not good with the whole waking up in random places, sooo…..”

Ohhh. “Right, sorry,” Steve looks down and fiddles with his hands. “My—this apartment complex is located on 32nd Street of New York.”

Bucky freezes. “Is this building, by any chance, owned by Tony Stark?”

“Yeah, actually. How did you—”

“What apartment number is this?”

“Number 106.”

Bucky starts laughing, collapsing back onto the pillows on the blonde’s bed. He covers his face with the crook of his elbow and continues laughing.

Steve is so confused. One moment, the hot brunet was panicking, the next, he’s… laughing?

“I’m sorry, I’m… not really following.” Steve says, eyebrows raising when another fit of laughter escapes the brunet.

Wiping his eyes, he uncovers his face and looks up at the blonde. 

“‘M sorry,” Bucky squeaks. “But, oh man. I really thought that, when I woke up, you were one of Alex’s buddies, comin’ in here to do God knows what. But in reality, you—oh my god, you’re my neighbor.”

Steve’s throat tightens at the sight of Bucky sitting up, continuing his spill of laughter. The brunet gets off the bed and stretches, probably a little more than necessary, but no one will ever know that, because it’s over in seconds.

Still chuckling, Bucky makes his way to the bathroom to see the state of his hair. When he turns on the light, he’s not chuckling anymore. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s like a fuckin’ rats nest.” Bucky murmurs to himself as he gathers his hair in his hands. “Yo blonde boy, got any hair ties I can use?”

“Second drawer to the left,” Steve calls back, gathering the bowl and placing the towel inside. Scooping up the First-Aid kit, he walks over to the bathroom to put it away.

“Thanks man,’’ Bucky says, patting the (still unknown) blonde on the shoulder, and walks around him and leaves the bedroom altogether, walking into the other room of the apartment.

Steve puts away the kit, hangs the towel on the shower head, and follows Bucky into the other room. Steve walks in to see the brunette (who put his hair back into a bun, and looks drop dead adorable) surveying Steve’s apartment, taking in every detail.

Steve calls out to him again as he walks into the kitchen. “Do you want anything? Food, something to drink?” A boyfriend? goes unasked, even though it almost slips.

“That’s okay bud. I don’t wanna be more of a burden.” Bucky replies, even though, yes, he would very much like to stay here with blondie and be a burden. 

“It’s really no bother,” _Please stay._ “I’m gonna make myself some coffee, so do you want some or not?” _Please say yes, don’t leave yet._

Bucky snorts. “Yeah, okay. Why not? I live right next to you anyways so…” He trails off and continues to walk around the room.

“I’m guessing you’re an artist?” Bucky calls after a few moments, looking at the paintings on the wall.

“What’s that?” Steve says, plugging in the machine and grabbing the coffee grounds from the cabinet.

“Are you an artist?”

“Yep. Why do you ask?”

Bucky shrugs, even though the blonde can’t see him. “Judging on the painting, platform thingy in the corner, I’m gonna go ahead and guess you like to draw and paint and be artistic.” Bucky replies, sliding into a barstool on the other side of the kitchen counter, stretching his arms atop it, looking at the blonde’s broad shoulders and narrow waist. How cute.

The blonde laughs. “Yes, I am artist. By the way, the painting platform thingy is called an easel.”

Bucky teasingly glares, waving his hand dismissively in the air. “Yeah yeah, that thing. The easel thing.”

Steve can’t help but laugh, because the brunet pronounces it ‘eye-sal’, “It’s ‘easel’, not ‘eye-sal’.”

Bucky stares at the blonde, eyebrow cocked in confusion. “Easel?”

“No, easel.”

“Easel.”

“It’s easel,”

“Whatever, ya know what I meant.”

Steve snorts as he begins to pour the coffee. “So, what are you then?’’

Bucky let out a puff of air, blowing a few loose strands of hair, and leans his head forward into his folded arms, burring his head in the crook of his elbow. A small tap on his arm made him lift his head up, and he smiled when the blonde handed him a cup of coffee. “Thanks,” Bucky supplies, sitting up and grabbing the mug in both hands, relishing in the warmth.

Steve leans his hip against the counter, taking a sip of his coffee as he watches the brunet take a swig of his own coffee. 

“So?” Steve repeats.

Bucky nods through another sip. “Oh right, sorry. Well, I guess I’m kinda an artist too.”

“Kinda?”

Bucky nods again. “I’m a musician.”

“Oh that’s cool,” Steve says, taking another sip of his coffee to shut up the thoughts and fantasies running through his mind. _It’s way more than cool Steve, what are you talking about Steve._ He can’t stop the thoughts from flying through his head. The brunet playing the _piano_ in just yoga pants and no shirt, his hair damp from a recent shower. Or one of him playing the _guitar_ , his hair in a bun, wearing just a t-shirt and boxers this time. “What kinda instruments do you play?”

“Piano and guitar.” Well then, both of Steve’s fantasies completed. Hallelujah.

“I also sing, too.” Well the— _fuck_.

“So what’s your name?” Bucky asks after a few seconds of the blonde’s staring. Not that he minds, he would let the blonde stare at him all day if he wanted.

“Wh—what?” Steve snaps out of his haze.

The brunet just chuckles. “Your name? I’m pretty sure you have one.” _Hurry up blondie, can’t keep calling you Hot Guy in my head, it’s gonna stick_.

“Oh. Oh yeah. Umm, I’m Steve. Steve Rogers.”

The brunet sticks out his hand, internally loving how Steve (boy, he loves that name) gets so easily flustered. “Hello Steve Rogers. I’m Bucky. Bucky Barnes.”

“What kinda name is—”

Bucky waves his hands around, shushing Steve. “Nuh uh, not hearing that from you too.” Steve shuts his mouth. “It’s a nickname my friends call me. It comes from my middle name: Buchanan.”

“We’re friends now?” Steve can’t help but ask.

“Aren’t we?” Bucky asks back, lifting up the mug. “I mean, you did save me from getting raped today, so I think that—”

“He was gonna rape you?!” Steve asks incredulously.

Bucky pauses mid-sip and stares at Steve. “Well, what did you think he was gonna do? Shower me with affection and propose to me?”

Steve blushes, the red traveling down his neck and under the collar of his shirt. Bucky wants to know how far down it spreads. “Well, I don’t know what I thought. All I know is that I had to get you out of there.” Steve looks up with a small smile, and sees Bucky (that name brings up the most sinful thoughts in his mind) with an affectionate smile on his lips.

“See? We are bros now, you ’n me.” Bucky replies, getting up to place his now empty cup in the sink, turning on the faucet to fill the cup with water, and shutting it off when it gets to the top. Turning back around, Bucky notices Steve’s eyes snap back up to his, meaning… _oh_ , he was looking at Bucky’s _ass_.

“Yeah,” Steve replies, sending Bucky a charming smile, hoping that it covers up from him getting caught looking at Bucky’s ass.

It does. It takes everything in Bucky’s power to not melt into the floor under Steve’s warm gaze. Bucky snaps out of his stupor, glancing out one of the windows behind Steve, seeing that it was already nightfall.

“Shit, what time is it?” Bucky asks.

Steve looks at the clock on his wall. “8:30.”

“Oh man, already?” Bucky yawns, stretching, probably a little to much, again.

“Yep.” Steve says, popping the ‘p’ at the end. Bucky tries not to pay attention to it, but his lower parts aren’t quite agreeing with him. He has to get out of that apartment, and into his own, the sooner the better. He can’t let Steve see him with a boner.

“Well, as much as I would love to stay, I have rehearsal first thing in the morning at the studio, and I need to practice for it,” Bucky chokes out, trying to discretely rub his thighs together.

“Oh okay, no problem.” _Big problem, shut up Steve, what are you talking about Steve, don’t let him leave Steve._ “Let me go grab your stuff.” Or hide it, so Bucky doesn’t leave. Steve walks out of the room and into his bedroom, trying to think of ways to ask for Bucky’s phone number without coming across as too forward. He hasn’t thought of anything by the time he grabs Bucky’s jacket and shoes and walks out into the other room, seeing Bucky standing there with his backpack on, looking at one of Steve’s paintings on the wall. Bucky’s eyes snap over to Steve’s when he hears the latter walk into the room, blushing instantly, looking as if he was just caught with his hands in a cookie jar.

“Thank you,” Bucky grabs his things out of Steve’s hands, but he sets the items and his backpack onto the ground. Standing back up, he looks at Steve’s chest, tentatively walking towards it and nervously biting his lip. Before Steve can even ask what Bucky’s doing, Bucky closes the distance and wraps his arms around Steve’s shoulders and pulls him into a hug, burring his head into the crook of Steve’s neck.

“Thank you. Thank you Steve. For…for helping me today. Thank you.” Bucky says brokenly, a single tear threatening to spill. At the sound of Bucky beginning to cry, Steve immediately wraps his arms around the other man’s waist, returning the hug full force, pulling Bucky to his chest.

When Steve hugs Bucky back, he loses it, letting the tear fall and hugging tighter. He can never get himself to release more than one tear, as usual, but he decides it's okay in this situation. It probably hurts Steve, the way e’s holding him, but Steve hasn’t told him to let go. Bucky wasn’t sure if Steve would tell him to back off from the hug, but feeling Steve return it washes away his worries.

“It’s okay Buck. It’s okay. I’m right here. It’s okay.” Steve manages, realizing that he’s crying too. Crying for Bucky. Crying for what Bucky had to go through today. Crying because he will do whatever it takes to make sure Bucky doesn’t cry like this again. He still barely knows this guy. Jesus Steve. 

They stay like that for a few minutes, Bucky clinging Steve’s shirt; Steve rubbing his back. Turns out that Bucky is a tad bit shorter than Steve, making it nice and comfortable to hug each other. It feels right; perfect.

Finally, Bucky pulls away, wiping his eyes and smiling softly up at Steve through long lashes and red eyes. “Thank you Stevie.”

Steve’s heart soars at the nickname, loving the way it falls from Bucky’s lips. Oh god, his— _Steve stop it dammit, not the time_. “No problem Buck,” Steve says sincerely, pulling Bucky into another hug, before they say goodnight to each other. Bucky heads back to his apartment next door; Steve completely forgetting to ask for Bucky’s number. 

_How have I never met him?_ , Steve thinks to himself as he gets ready for bed.

_How have I never met him?_ , Bucky thinks as he walks into his apartment, shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Updates are typically once/twice a month, but I’ll try harder to get this story finished you all*


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bucky, I told you not to touch my shit, dammit!” Sam says laughing as he enters the small room, walking over to Bucky and grabbing his shoulders, pulling him away from the controls.
> 
> “But Sam,” Bucky whines. Sam grabs him from behind and picks him up with his arms wrapped around his torso. “I didn’t like how it sounded Sam!”
> 
> “Shut up and say hi,”
> 
> “To who?” Bucky asks, and Sam spins around and lets go of Bucky.
> 
> Bucky’s eyes widen in recognition. “Steve!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got some emails asking what Alexander Pierce looked like in this fic. Thanks to “OhCaptainMyCaptain”, I was reading her story ‘After Hours’ (which is awesome btw) and saw a pic of James Norton, and b.o.y., does it look like a young Robert Redford.
> 
> ## James Norton
> 
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>  
> 
> Also, I highly recommend listening to the song that Bucky will be singing in this chapter, and just try to imagine it as it being actually Bucky. It can be found [ here. Okay, so AO3 is being weird, so this whole sentence might turn up as the link. Oh well, I tried. Anyways, enjoy!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA%E2%80%9D>%E2%80%9D>%E2%80%9Chere%E2%80%9D>%E2%80%9DHere)

“Dude, are you ok?”

Sam’s voice snaps Steve out of his mind. “Wh—what?’’

“Are you ok?” Sam repeats his question with a chuckle as he and Steve turn the corner of 13th Street, jogging like they usually do every morning before class. The cool breeze of the autumn Monday morning blows softly against them, creating a calm, peaceful setting. Sam doesn’t have to be at his music studio until seven thirty this morning, and it’s only six right now. Better yet, Steve doesn’t have any class today because his teacher had told him to _‘just enjoy a Monday for once’_.

Steve wipes away his nonexistent sweat with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I’m good.” _Liar._ And Steve knows it too. Ever since he saved Bucky from a back alley only three short days ago, Steve hasn’t been able to think of anything else other than Bucky. He still can’t get over the fact that he has never met Bucky Barnes in all the time that he’s lived in his apartment building. That’s what is pissing him off the most. Why God would keep such a human being out of his life.

They stop their run at around six thirty, heading to their usual Starbucks. When they get there, Sam doesn’t let Steve inside. Instead, he pushes him to an alleyway right next to the coffee shoppe.

“Okay Steve, spill it. What’s wrong with you?” Busted.

“Sam, I told you, nothing’s wrong.” Sam only raises an eyebrow, disbelieving. Steve huffs out a breath of air, annoyed because Sam won’t get the message.

“Boy troubles?” Steve’s wandering eyes snap back to Sam. Sam closes his eyes and chuckles, “I knew it. Steve, I’ve known you for three years already, and that’s long enough to know when there’s something wrong with you.”

“Whatever, don’t worry about it. I want coffee.” This time, when Steve pushes past Sam, the latter doesn’t make any move to stop him, but the whole time while waiting in line, Sam bombards Steve with questions he should have seen coming.

“What’s his name?” Sam asks when they get near the register, standing behind a group of girls who, not so discretely, make side glances toward Steve, trying to lure in his attention. _Thank God I'm gay_ , he thinks, _so I doesn’t have to deal with them_.

“His name’s Bucky.” Steve answers when they reach the register, Steve trying to order for himself and Sam while Sam asks another boat load of questions. _‘Does he sing and play guitar by any chance?’ ‘Does he have kinda longish brown hair?’ ‘Is he by chance super hot?’_. Steve however, doesn’t even hear any of the words tumbling out of Sam, for he is too busy trying to hear their order being repeated back to him. Finally, after paying and stepping out of line to wait for their drinks, Steve turns to Sam.

“I didn’t hear a word you asked me back in line.” Steve says, tucking his wallet into the pocket of his gym shorts, grabbing his phone to check the time. When Sam doesn’t respond to him, he looks up. “Are you going to ask me anything?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Sam didn’t _need_ to ask him anything. He _knows_ Bucky Barnes. Sam is Bucky’s music producer, the one who works the sound booth at the studio while Bucky sings and records. No wonder Steve is having issues. Bucky is, by far, one of the most attractive guys’ on campus.

Once their orders are complete, the pair grab their drinks and head out, walking towards Steve’s apartment building. Sam lives on the second floor, while he (and Bucky. Can’t forget about Bucky) live on the third floor. When they approach the building, Sam glances over to Steve, and decides to just go for it. “Do you wanna come to rehearsal today at the studio?”

Steve turns to him, completely oblivious when he accepts the offer. He has no idea that Bucky is supposed to be at the studio today too.

“Alrighty, awesome. I need to be there at seven thirty to set up the equipment, so if you wanna stop by at around eight, we can do that.” Sam suggests.

“Sure, sounds good. Better hurry up Sam, it’s almost seven.” 

Glancing at his watch, Sam’s eyes go wide as he yells ‘SHIT’. He sprints the rest of the way to the apartment building, Steve laughing behind him. Steve continues at his leisurely pace up to his apartment, closing the door softly when he reaches it, and walks to his bathroom to take a nice, hot shower.

When the insistent knocking on his door becomes unbearable, Bucky huffs and get out of bed, walking to his door in just a pair of black boxers. He opens the door to find two people he would rather not see right now. He tries closing the door, only for it to be shoved completely open, the redhead and her boyfriend walking into the apartment. Natasha lowers her sunglasses a bit and studies Bucky slowly.

Clint breaks the silence as he enters the kitchen alone. “Buckyyyyy,” Clint draws out. “where’s your coffee?”

“Top cupboard to the left, same shelf as usual.” He calls back, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Blinking slowly, he takes in Natasha, and she finally speaks up.

“You’re going to the studio in that?”

“No, I am not going to the studio in this, shut up Nat.” He manages to grumble out, making his way around her and towards his bedroom to get dressed. “Clint make me some coffee please.” He calls over his shoulder when he reaches his door.

“It’s already sitting on the counter for you.”

“Thank you,” he calls while looking for some jeans and a shirt, Natasha leaning on his door frame, watching his every move. 

“Third drawer to your left, James.” She says smirking, pulling out her phone as she calls out directions to Bucky, helping him locate proper attire, without moving from her spot by the door. She knows his clothes better than he does. Once he’s finally dressed, he grabs his leather jacket and walks out, heading to the kitchen to retrieve his coffee. They make light conversation with each other while Bucky basically inhales his coffee. He needs to be at the studio by seven thirty to help Sam set up the equipment, while Natasha and Clint have to be there at eight forty five. Lucky bastards.

“See you guys soon.” He calls, and grabbing his phone, wallet, and keys, he walks out of the apartment.

The sound of a revving engine pulls Steve from the bathroom. Towel wrapped around his waist, he continues to dry his hair with a smaller towel while walking towards the window. Upon looking out, he wishes he hadn’t, because now he’s gonna have even more fantasies about his neighbor. There, downstairs in the apartment parking lot, is none other than Bucky Barnes, pulling on his helmet and stepping over his motorcycle-a Harley Davidson, like Steve’s-straddling it as he sits down. Pulling the motorcycle out of the parking position, Bucky adds a bit more gas and pulls out, driving out of Steve’s line of sight.

Bucky drives a motorcycle. New thing to add to Steve’s list. _Fuck_.

___________________________________________________________

Steve arrives at the studio at seven fifty-five, getting off his own Harley, putting it into park next to Sam’s old red pickup, completely unaware that Bucky’s motorcycle is parked on the other side.

Steve walks up the side walk to the front doors of the recording studio, pulling open the door with a small tug. Sam and his girlfriend Maria opened up this studio almost a year ago; actually, come to think of it, the one year anniversary party at the studio is coming up in a few short weeks. Walking inside, Steve smiles as Maria greets him from the front desk.

“Hi’ya Steve!” She says, cheerfully. “How are you?”

“I’m doing pretty good Maria, how are you?”

“Good. Pretty good. Want me to ring in Sam?”

Steve nods. “That’d be great, thanks—”

“Maria where did you put my AUX cord?” A voice shouts from the hallway on the right, footsteps becoming louder as the mystery person walks towards them from the hallway.

“It’s by Nat’s microphone James!” Maria calls back, getting up and walking around the desk, but Steve’s rooted to the spot. That voice. It belongs to none other than—

“For the last time Maria,” Bucky says, chuckling as he enters the front lobby of the studio. “It’s Bucky.”

Bucky walks through the door, completely unaware of Steve’s presence in the room as he grabs some papers on a nearby small table, picking them up and walking back out the way he came.

Steve’s throat is clenching. That was Bucky Barnes. Bucky. Barnes.

Bucky.

_Fucking_.

Barnes.

The air suddenly shifts, turning from the cooled air conditioned room to a furnace in less than a second. Steve’s eyes are wide and he let’s himself have a moment. Bucky had just walked into the room wearing black skinny jeans, black combat boots, a black t-shirt, and a leather jacket. His hair is pulled up into a bun, a few short strands falling out and framing his face. It’s taking a lot for Steve to not run and follow him, push him against the wall, cradle his face in his hands, and kiss him stupid.

_Calm down Rogers_ , Steve chastises himself. _You barely know the guy, slow down_. 

Steve’s barely aware that his name is being called until Sam runs up behind him, throwing his arm over Steve’s broad shoulders. “Hey Steve! You ready to watch some magic happen?!”

Steve only nods, his only capability at the moment. He’s too focused in trying to get rid of his hard on…

“This way Steve-o.” Sam leads him towards the same hallway that Bucky had just come out of. They walk to the end and into the door at the end of the hall. Grabbing the door handle and letting go of Steve, Sam turns and faces him. “This, is where the magic happens.” Sam grins and twists the doorknob, opening the door.

When the door opens, Steve’s eyes go directly to Bucky’s ass. Not like he wants to, exactly…. but Bucky is right there in the line of sight, leaning over the sound booth, fiddling with some of the switches.

“Bucky, I told you not to touch my shit, dammit!” Sam says laughing as he enters the small room, walking over to Bucky and grabbing his shoulders, pulling him away from the controls.

“But Sam,” Bucky whines. Sam grabs him from behind and picks him up with his arms wrapped around his torso. “I didn’t like how it sounded Sam!”

“Shut up and say hi,”

“To who?” Bucky asks, and Sam spins around and lets go of Bucky.

Bucky’s eyes widened in recognition. “Steve!?”

Steve shoves his hands in his own leather jacket and smiles. “Hey Bucky.”

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, smiling and blushing. “Hey. Hi. Hey. What’s up?”

Steve smiles a little bit on the inside, seeing how flustered Bucky is. “Oh, not much. Sam invited me to come watch some rehearsals today, so I figured, why not?”

“Oh cool! Wanna check out some of the equipment inside?” Bucky points to the room on the other side of the glass.

“Sure,”

Bucky nods and motions for Steve to follow him. Twisting the door handle, Bucky leads him inside the small recording studio, with some instruments strewn about here and there, and two microphones right in the middle of the room. Bucky shows Steve all the equipment, explaining what they all do and how to use it, not that Steve really understands it though. 

Steve smiles warmly at the sight of Bucky explaining everything to him. He can tell that Bucky really enjoys music, judging by how zoned out he’s getting while he is explaining things to Steve, and how excited he gets when he discovers to something he likes.

“So, yeah. That’s about it.” Bucky smiled towards Steve. Suddenly Sam’s voice ran through the room.

“Bucky, stop fucking flirting and set up your mic. I need to get your song recorded before Clint and Natasha show up.”

Bucky blushes and buries his face in his hands, flipping Sam off after a few seconds. Steve smiles and walks out of the room, taking a seat next to Sam by the sound booth. Pressing a button, Sam speaks to Bucky, scaring him slightly.

“Hey Buck, which one are you gonna do today? We have time for only one before the others arrive.”

“Ummm,” Bucky replies, pulling up a stool next to the mic, and turning around, walking to a corner of the room. “Can we do ‘Say You Won’t Let Go?’, ‘cause I need more practice on that song. I sound like shit at the moment.” Bucky grabs a guitar from a nearby stand and goes back to the stool.

“Sure thing pal, let me set up the background chords for it, and I’ll let you know when to start.” With a nod from Bucky, Sam takes his finger off the button and rolls his chair over to his computer, opening it and setting up a file.

Steve rolls his chair next to Sam. “Isn’t that the song by James Arthur?” Steve can’t help but ask, because that same song turns out to be Steve’s _favorite_.

“Yes it is, my friend.” Sam responds, typing away on his computer, then plugging it into the sound booth. “Don’t worry, we’ve contacted James Arthur before we started recording Bucky singing his songs last year, you know, for copyright purposes and all that. Turns out that Arthur loved the way Bucky sounds, claiming that “They sound almost exactly alike,”” Sam says with air quotes. “So we’re not gonna get arrested or anything. We can record it and sell it, but we have to get approval from Arthur first.”

Turning some switches, Sam presses the button, telling Bucky to go ahead and start.

Bucky gives Sam a thumbs up, pulls his headphones over his ears, adjusts his guitar and mic, and starts the song. Steve doesn’t even stand a chance.

 

_(beginning strumming)_

_(Verse 1)_

_I met you in the dark_

_You lit me up._

_You made me feel as though, I was enough._

_We danced the night away, we drank too much._

_I held your hair back when, you were throwing up._

 

Steve is blown away. The song just started, but Steve doesn’t care. He stares wide eyed at Bucky through the glass. Bucky’s eyes are closed as he plays, head slightly tipped downward as he sings.

 

_(Pre-chorus)_

_And you smiled over your shoulder_

_For a minute I was stone-cold sober_

_I pulled you closer to my chest._

_And you asked me to stay over_

_I said, “I already told ya. I think that you should get some rest.”_

_(Chorus)_

_I knew I loved you then, but you’d never know._

_Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go._

_I knew I needed you, but I’ll never show_

_That I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old._

_Just say you won’t let go_

_Just say you won’t let go_

 

Steve is leaning forward, watching Bucky with love and admiration. Sam is casually stealing glances at him, smirking knowingly, but Steve isn’t paying attention. All his focus is directed on Bucky, and he can’t look away.

 

_(Verse 2)_

_I’ll wake you up with some, breakfast in bed._

_I’ll bring you coffee with, a kiss on your head._

_I’ll take the kids to school, wave them good-bye._

_I’ll thank my lucky stars, for that night._

 

At his verse, Steve’s mind travels back to the night he and Bucky shared at his apartment, after he saved Bucky from Alexander and his buddies. He smiles a little. Sam notices. He is _so_ gonna tease Steve for this later.

 

_(Pre-Chorus)_

_When you looked, over your shoulder._

_For a minute I forgot that I’m older._

_I wanna dance with you right now._

_Ohhh ohhh oh_

_And you look, as beautiful as ever_

_An’ I swear that everyday you get better_

_You make me feel this way somehow_

_(Chorus)_

_I’m so in love with you, and I hope you know_

_Darling your love is more than it’s worth in weight in gold_

_We’ve come so far my dear, look how we’ve grown._

_I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old._

_Just say you won’t let go_

_Just say you won’t let go_

 

I won’t Buck, Steve thinks, I won’t. I’m not going anywhere.

 

_(Verse 3)_

_I wanna live with you, even when we’re ghosts._

_‘Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most._

_(Chorus)_

_I’m gonna love you til’, my lungs give out._

_I promised til’ death we’d part, like in our vows._

_So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows_

_That it’s just you and me, til’ we’re grey and old._

_Just say you won’t let go_

_Just say you won’t let go_

_Just say you won’t let go_

_Oh, just say you won’t let go._

_(End)_

 

“Holy shit,” Steve breathes out, stretching out every syllable.

Sam smirks. “I know, huh? That was my reaction when he asked me if he could record some of his music here. He’s pretty good huh?”

“That doesn’t even begin to cover it Sam.”

Bucky walks back into the room, fixing his hair as he walks over and takes a seat on the couch near Sam. “That sounded like shit.”

Sam looks at him, bewildered. “Stop fishing for compliments, you idiot. That was awesome. That is definitely going on the CD.” 

Bucky tips his head with a groan, exposing his throat as he covers his face with the crook of his elbow. Steve wants to go over and bite and kiss at Bucky’s neck, wants to— _Jesus, Steve_ stop _. You still barely know him. Oh my GOD_.

“Whatever, I’m getting coffee from the break room, you guys want any?”

Both Sam and Steve nod, and Bucky walks out. Steve stares at the door, waiting for Bucky to come back.

“You know, you could always ask him out.” Sam says without even looking at Steve, continuing to edit some of the audio on his computer.

Steve’s eyes snap over to Sam, and Sam just smirks, eyes still trained on the screen. “I can tell that your pining over him Steve.”

“I am not,’’

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not,” Steve huffs, crossing his arms over his chest and sulking like a five year old.

“You’re not what?” Steve whips his head towards the door seeing Bucky walk back in with three coffees in hand.

“Nothing,”

“Uh huh,” Bucky replies, looking at his phone after he sets his coffee down. “Sam…”

“Hmmm,” Sam replies dismissively, concentrating on the audio segments displayed on the computer screen instead.

“They’re not coming.”

Sam spins around in his chair, audios completely forgotten. “What? Why?”

Bucky shoves his phone in Sam’s face, and Sam immediately covers his eyes, turning back around and huffing, muttering some colorful words under his breath as he continues his work on the laptop.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks tentatively.

Bucky doesn't look up from typing on his phone when he responds. “Oh not much, just my asshole of a friend decided to send me pictures of him and his girlfriend having sex in my apartment. That’s all.” Bucky pockets his phone with a sigh, which waters down into a groan. “I’m not going home tonight, that’s for sure.”

Steve stares at Bucky, a thousand thoughts flying in his head. On one hand, Bucky does need a place to stay. _But_ on the other hand, he _still_ doesn’t know Bucky that well. He doesn’t think that Bucky would murder him in his sleep, but he doesn’t put aside that he knows Bucky could certainly do it. Oh well, fuck it.

“Do you wanna crash at my place? I’ve got a spare bedroom that you can use, if you want, of course.”

Bucky looks up in awe. “Really?”

“Sure why not?”

“Thanks Stevie, I… I really appreciate that.”

Steve’s tries not to blush, and Sam adds this to his list of things to make fun of Steve for later. Oh boy.

When seven p.m. rolls around, it finds Bucky and Steve on the floor of Steve’s apartment, their backs against the couch, take-out boxes in hand, laughing at some show on TV. They are both wearing some of Steve’s sweatpants and t-shirts, because Bucky didn’t dare go into his apartment to get clothes.

“Oh my fucking God, Steve, look at him!” Bucky says through a mouthful of orange chicken, pointing the backend of his chopsticks at the TV.

Steve looks down and laughs as he pokes away at the contents of his own box. They are currently watching _‘The Last Man on Earth’,_ and are laughing at Tandy’s half shaved face.

“I wouldn’t be caught dead with that look.” Bucky says, reaching forward to grab his beer, taking a swig, then putting it back on the floor beside him. The pair had moved the coffee table to the side of the room, leaving space for their legs to stretch out while they watched the TV mounted on the DVD/Video game cabinet.

Steve looks over at Bucky, watching his lips form around the beer bottle. He has to turn his head away, because if he looks for any longer, he’s gonna lose control and kiss Bucky breathless.

After a few more episodes, the pair cleans up and puts the coffee table back. Once they finish, they go back to the couch. As soon as Steve sits down, Bucky throws his feet into his lap and continues to casually sip his beer, eyes locked on the TV. Steve looks towards the TV and hesitantly lays his hands over Bucky’s legs, resting them there.

Bucky casts Steve a side glance and smirks, then goes back to watching TV.

After another episode finishes, Steve turns to ask Bucky if he wants another beer, only to find the brunet fast asleep, arms crossed and chin tucked in. Smiling, Steve turns off the TV and takes Bucky’s legs off his lap. The latter makes a noise, obviously disliking the loss of contact.

Shaking his head, Steve clears away the beer bottles and walks back to Bucky. Sliding his arms under Bucky, Steve picks him up with ease. Bucky immediately wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, and his legs around Steve’s waist, laying his head on Steve’s shoulder. 

“S…Steve?”

“Yeah Buck?” Steve replies softly, trying to act normal, but the fact that Bucky is wrapped around him, it makes it kinda hard (haha, pun intended).

Bucky takes in a deep breath. “You smell nice Stevie.”

“Thank you?”

“Uh huh,” Bucky continues. “Don’t know _what_ exactly, but it smells nice.”

“Bucky, how drunk are you?” Steve asks as he begins to walk toward his guest bedroom.

“D’know, I only had like, four? Yeah, four orange juices.”

“Orange juices?”

“Yeah. Hey Steve?”

“Hmm?” Steve nudges open the guest bedroom door with his foot.

“You smell nice.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re squishy too.”

“Thank you, Bucky.” Steve can’t help but chuckle as he sets Bucky down on the bed. Helping him under the covers, Steve watches as Bucky wraps his arms around a pillow, nuzzling it softly and falling asleep almost instantly. Smiling warmly, he cards his hand softly through Bucky’s hair, telling him goodnight, then leaves, closing the door behind him and heading to his room.

___________________________________________________________

 

Bucky wakes with a start, covered in sweat and trembling violently. He was having that dream again. That horrible, horrible dream about his family’s accident. He sits up in bed, memories of spending the night at Steve’s are rushing back to him.

_Steve_.

Getting up, he makes his way to the door and pulls it open quietly. Walking to Steve’s bedroom, he pauses, staring at the door. Taking a deep breath, he opens Steve’s door slowly.

“Steve?”

Steve stirs in the sheets for a few seconds before he sits up, blinking away the sleep in his eyes. “Bucky? Is tha—are you ok?”

Bucky opens his mouth, then closes it. _This is stupid_ , he thinks.

“Never mind, sorry ‘ta wake you up.” Bucky turns to leave, but Steve isn’t having it.

“Bucky, c’mere. It’s okay.” Steve yawns and motions for Bucky to come into the room.

Bucky stares at Steve hesitantly and bites his bottom lip, the lights of the city casting over him from the window. 

“Buck, it’s okay. Really. C’mere.” Steve pulls the covers back a bit, making room for Bucky to take a seat on his bed. Bucky sees it and makes his way towards the bed slowly, trying to maneuver in the dim room, taking a seat and sitting criss-cross in front of Steve. He looks down, fiddling with his hands in his lap. He only pulls his head up when Steve puts his hands over Bucky’s.

“Bucky?”

“‘M sorry Steve. I didn’t mean to wake you, but I… I… I’m sorry.” He hangs his head down again. Steve doesn’t understand why Bucky’s apologizing, he did nothing wrong.

“Oh Bucky,” Steve leans forward and gathers Bucky in his arms, pulling him into his lap. He hopes Bucky doesn't think this is weird, considering they only met last Friday. Steve is more touchy-feely when it comes to comforting people, no matter how well he knows them, so he’s just hoping Bucky doesn’t mind his actions. Once in his lap, Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s torso, tucking his head in the crook of his neck. Okay then…turns out that Bucky’s also a little touchy-feely as well. No bother though.

“Bucky, there is nothing to apologize for.” Steve rubs his back while Bucky wraps his legs around Steve for added contact.

“Wanna talk about it?” Steve tries slowly.

Bucky shakes his head, indicating that he’s not yet ready to talk. “Okay, that’s okay. Is there anything that you want me to do?”

“Stay…..please.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Steve turns and lies back, coaxing Bucky to follow, which he does without hesitation. Once they settle into the bed, Bucky is still halfway on top of Steve. Steve pulls the covers over them, and they fall asleep almost instantly, wrapped in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, 'The Last Man On Earth’ is one of my favorite shows, so if anyone else watches it, let me know! Cuz that show is awesome.  
> Also on another note, James Arthur is one of my personal favorite singer/songwriter’s, because he’s honestly just amazing, let’s be real here.  
> ALSO, last note, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! This story has been incredible so far; being able to share it with all of you! The feedback is amazing, so thank you so much!  
> See you lovelies next chapter!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Buck—”
> 
> “No!”
> 
> “Bucky—”
> 
> “No!”
> 
> “Buck, c’mon—”
> 
> “No Steve.”
> 
> “Bucky, get—”
> 
> “Shut up Steve,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throwing in some comedy in the beginning, ‘cause why not?  
> A brand new chapter full of comfort, fun, and the feels. I will get back to the serious and angsty parts, but for now, enjoy! <3

Bucky wakes up the next morning to the sound of an alarm blaring in Steve’s bedroom. Wait, why is he in—ohh…… th… the nightmare. He must’ve come into Steve’s room at some point during the night, he realizes. Bucky cuddles closer to Steve, trying to hide himself from the alarm and life and _responsibilities_ _dammit_.

“Steeveee,” Bucky groans into Steve’s chest, and Steve snickers.

“Mornin’ sunshine,”

“Shut up, it’s too early for jokes.”

“It’s never too early for jokes,” Steve counters, trying to get up, only for Bucky to push him back and lie fully on top of him.

“Stay, you’re warm and comfy.” Bucky hugs him and snuggles into Steve’s chest to prove his point. Steve is thankful that Bucky isn’t looking at him, because his face is burning at the contact of Bucky, and him, together, in bed. To be honest with himself, Steve doesn’t find this weird, at all actually. Apparently Bucky doesn’t either, because he  shoves his face into Steve’s neck, trying to fall back asleep. “And we don’t even have class today, it’s Tuesday.” Bucky retorts.

“I know that, but I’m gonna go on my run with Sam.”

Bucky lifts his head an inch and looks up at him, eyes filled with disbelief. “What.”

“What?”

“Steve, what time is it? Because the sun’s not even up yet.” Bucky looks out the window, seeing the dark sky over the city.

Steve grabs his phone from the bedside table and checks the time. “Four forty-five.”

“Hell no!” Bucky stammers, holding onto Steve for dear life. Steve drops his phone on the floor beside the bed by Bucky’s sudden motion.

“Buck—”

“No!”

“Bucky—”

“No!”

“Buck, c’mon—”

“No Steve.”

“Bucky, get—”

“Shut up Steve, I’m not getting up, and neither are you.” Bucky cuddles impossibly closer.

“Fine.”

Bucky stops. He stares at Steve, confusion flowing over his face because Steve doesn’t give in this easily. Even though he barely knows the blonde man underneath him, he can definitely tell that Steve isn’t the type of guy to give up easily at all. Slowly letting go, Bucky sits up, straddling Steve to make his way off him, staring at him quizzically. “Steve—”

Bucky doesn’t even stand a chance. Steve lunges for him, straddling his hips, and starts tickling him without end.

“Steve!” Bucky’s laughing, and he can’t form a proper sentence. “Steve! St—t—op!” They both can’t stop laughing now. He can hear Steve cackling above him in hysterical laughter. He tries to fight off Steve, but it doesn’t really work. Steve’s bigger and stronger than he is. Steve finally lets him ‘win’, and they roll over, Bucky trying desperately to find a ticklish spot, but he’s barely doing anything before Steve grasps his hands in his and flips them back over to continue his assault. Finally, Steve stops and collapses atop Bucky, breathing heavily as laughter continues to slowly seep out of him.

“Ugh. Move you big lug.” Bucky palms at Steve’s shoulders, trying to get him off, but it doesn’t work.

“Never,” Steve hugs Bucky just like Bucky had been doing to him a few minutes earlier, with no intention of letting go. Well, Bucky kind of walked into that one if he has to be honest.

“Steve, get off and let’s go back to sleep.” Steve doesn’t miss the way Bucky says ‘let’s’, because that implies that they go back to sleep _together_. Warmth spreads throughout Steve’s body, pooling in his stomach, making him feel fuzzy and giddy.

“I have to go run with Sam; Bucky, c’mon.” Steve tries again, only for Bucky to wrap his arms around Steve’s neck and his legs around his torso, hooking his ankles.

“Sleep.”

“We can sleep when I come back, Buck.”

“No. Sleep now.”

“You leave me no choice,” With that, Steve gets up off the bed, and Bucky has no choice but to hold on.

“Steve noooo,” Bucky whines when Steve walks into the kitchen, still holding onto him. He looks over Steve’s shoulder at the bedroom door and pouts. “Sleeeeeep.”

“You can go, but I need to go run.”

Sighing dramatically, Bucky lets go of Steve when he stops in front of the coffee maker. “Fine, whatever.” Bucky walks back towards Steve’s bedroom slowly, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. Steve sighs, taking his hands off the coffee machine and walks towards Bucky.

“Bucky,”

Bucky turns, still rubbing his eyes and not seeing Steve approach. “Hmm?”

Steve bends down and picks up Bucky’s tired form, throwing him over his shoulder and spinning him around in a circle.

“Steve,” Bucky says exasperatedly; lazy and tired of Steve’s shit. “What are you doing?”

“Waking you up.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“ _Because_ is not an answer Stevie. The whole point of me going back to your bedroom was to _sleep_ , not to wake up, you dumbass.”

A knock at the door pulls Steve’s attention. He walks out of the kitchen and turns the corner from no-mans land, strolling down the small hallway towards the door, Bucky still groaning and complaining on his shoulder when he opens it.

“Hey Ste—oh……ummm, hello?” Sam says, eyeing Bucky on Steve’s shoulder when Steve pulls the door open with a stupid grin on his face. Bucky can’t see Sam, but he recognizes his voice.

“Hey Sam,” Bucky says, throwing his arm up in a wave, like what’s happening right now is totally and completely, normal.

“H-hey Bucky. Uhh, Steve?” Sam’s eyes shift from Bucky to Steve, and he looks him warily. “Why is Bucky…on your shoulder?”

Bucky responds before Steve gets the chance to open his mouth. “Because this fucker didn’t let me go back to sleep after his stupid alarm went off and woke me up.”

Sam is still looking at Steve, but he adds a smirk. The only way Bucky could have woken up from Steve’s alarm would be if Bucky was sleeping in Steve’s room. Sam is definitely taking mental notes of this whole ordeal.

“ _Uh huh_. Well, I’ll let you guys get back to…. whatever…. that is that you’re doing.” Sam turns to walk away, the smirk still tugging at his lips. 

“Wait, we’re not going running?” Steve asks, noticing that Sam isn’t in his running clothes.

“Do you check your phone?”

Steve frowns. “I did, but I didn’t see a message from you.”

Sam laughs at Steve’s confusion. “Did you take it off airplane mode?”

Steve blushes scarlet, realizing his mistake, and Sam chuckles. “I have to fly down to L.A. for a few days. I have a potential client that wants an interview and a preview, so I need to drive to the airport in,” Sam checks his watch. “twenty minutes, oh shit I’m gonna be late. I’ll see you losers when I get back.” Sam throws Steve a wink, says bye to Bucky, then runs to the elevator, leaving the complex.

“Sleep?”

Chuckling and throwing the door shut, he walks down the hallway and back towards his bedroom, Bucky _still_ on his shoulder. Yeah, maybe skipping his running routine for one day isn’t such a bad idea.

“Sleep.”

___________________________________________________________

 

When they wake up this time, it’s almost noon. Steve wakes up first, opening his eyes as the sunlight washes over his face. He moves to get up, only to realize that Bucky is sprawled on top of him, fast asleep. Bucky’s snoring softly, his hair covering his face. Steve smiles softly at the sight before him. 

He raises his left hand and and brings it to Bucky’s face, moving away some stray pieces of hair. Bucky hums at the touch, apparently beginning to wake up.

“Mornin’. Well, it’s almost afternoon actually,” Steve says, continuing to pet Bucky absentmindedly.

“Hmmm, cool.” Bucky says. He sits up, straddling Steve as he stretches. Steve has to restrain himself from moving his hands to grasp Bucky’s hips. Bucky then leans back down, putting his face in Steve’s neck, trying to go back to sleep.

“C’mon Buck, up you get.” Steve says, sitting up, pulling Bucky up with him.

“Fine.” Bucky gets up after a few seconds, walking into the living room and leaving Steve alone in the bedroom with his thoughts.

Steve has to be honest with himself. He enjoyed waking up with Bucky in his arms this morning. Bucky has the most adorable bed head and attitude, and Steve could get used to it. Sleeping with Bucky? Loved it. Waking up to Bucky? Loved it. And Bucky sitting on his hips? _Loved it_.

“Hey Steve, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go see if those two fuckers are out of my apartment yet.”

“Okay.” Steve calls back, finally getting out of bed. “I’ll make us some coffee.”

“Sounds good Stevie!” And with that, Bucky opens the door and leaves the apartment, still dressed in Steve’s pajamas.

Steve walks out of his bedroom and towards his coffee maker, turning it on as he leans against the countertop, rubbing his hand over his face and yawning. As he watches the Keurig spit out the coffee into the cups, he does some thinking. Even though he’s still a bit tired—college does that to people—he actually feels pretty well rested. He’s also not stupid; Steve knows that this has something to do with Bucky, no matter how much he tries to deny it. He shakes his head and pours creamer in his cup, and Bucky comes back just as he puts the creamer back into the fridge.

“Everything okay?” Steve asks over his shoulder as he stirs in his creamer with a spoon.

Bucky snaps out of his haze and looks over at Steve. “Ye—yeah. Well, no not really.”

Steve turns and leans back on the counter, crossing his arms and looking at Bucky. “Buck, what’s wrong…”

“I feel bad asking Clint and Natasha to get out of my apartment.” He says suddenly, avoiding Steve’s eyes as he fiddles with his hands.

“Why?’’

“I can’t send them back to the streets.”

Steve’s confused now. _Back to the streets?_ “What d’ya mean?”

Bucky looks at Steve, sadness in his eyes. “They don't own a house Stevie, or an apartment, or…or anything, ‘cept the clothes on their backs and a couple hundred dollars. They pay for phone service though… why?… I have no idea, but they do. No one will hire them, they can’t get an apartment, and I don’t know what to do.” Bucky rubs his hands over his face, completely unsure of what to do next.

“C’mere Buck,” Steve says, opening his arms. Bucky looks up at Steve and walks over to him, falling into his arms and curling in on himself, tucking his head into the crook of Steve’s neck.

“I don’t know what to do Steve. I can’t kick them out. I walked into my apartment, and ya know what I saw when I walked in?”

“Hmmm?” Steve supplies, rubbing his back and leaning his head against Bucky’s.

“My apartment, it was _spotless_. Steve, it was _so clean_ , I could see my _reflection_ on the _countertop_. All my laundry was done and folded in the basket. All my shoes and bags and music papers and pencils and pens; they were all back in their proper place. I walked towards my bedroom, and Clint and Natasha were both lying there, fast asleep, both of them soaking wet, from a shower Steve. A shower!” Bucky is near tears at this point, clinging to Steve’s shirt as he trembles. Steve stands there, rubbing his back in an effort to comfort him. They stay like that until Bucky suddenly jumps up, a smile taking over his face, a complete contrast to his previous.

“I got it! Steve! I got it!”

“Got what Buck?” Steve is still getting used to Bucky’s habit of quickly changing emotions, so it takes him a second or two to catch up with the conversation.

“How I can help them! Oh my god, this is great!” Steve lets go of Bucky, and watches as Bucky runs over to his backpack in the corner of Steve’s living room, grabbing a note book and pencil. He runs into Steve’s room and sits at his desk, writing furiously.

Steve just shakes his head, preparing Bucky’s coffee, then joins him in the bedroom, setting Bucky’s cup on the desk and taking a seat on his bed, watching Bucky create charts, graphs, and scales on the paper. Steve watches silently as Bucky fills the paper in equations and formulas; watches how Bucky scrunches up his nose and bites his bottom lip when he’s in deep thought and concentration; watches how his eyes scan the paper all at once, his eyes seeming to look everywhere, and yet nowhere at all, like he’s trapped in his head and trying to figure out a million things at once. He watches how—stop it Steve, dammit.

After a few minutes of silence, Bucky sets the pencil down and turns the chair, looking at Steve with a smile.

“Got it?”

Bucky nods enthusiastically.

“Wanna tell me about it?”

He nods again.

“Go ahead.”

“Okay, so…. here is what I was thinking.” Bucky starts. “My rent is about $2,000 a month, plus I have to pay for college as well. Right now, I’m pulling two jobs in order to pay that. However,” Bucky’s eyes are shinning with mirth. “If I can pull another job, I could… probably pay their rent.”

“What do you mean? I though you said that they…” Steve trails off, not wanting to finish that statement, so Bucky just waves his hand.

“Well, I’m gonna ask Sam if I can crash at his place until I find a new apartment, but, I was thinking of paying the rent for Clint and Nat to stay at my place. I could pay their rent, and my rent of another apartment, for maybe a year, or a year and a half. That gives them enough time to get back on their feet, find a job, or jobs, and get a fresh start on life. After a year or so is up, I’ll gradually start letting them pay, and hopefully, they can manage it and get back on track. After they prove that they have a plan for the future, well… umm…I’m going to give them my apartment.” Bucky smiled, indicating that he was done talking.

“So, what do ya think?”

Steve takes in a breath, and looks at Bucky. His eyes are shining and his lips are pulled up in a huge grin. Steve knows that Bucky is totally going to do this, no matter how many hours he has to work or how much sleep he loses, he’s going to do this. Bucky’s determined to get this done, so Steve smiles. “If you think you can do it, then I think that’s an awesome idea.”

“Really?!”

“Really.” 

Bucky smiles, big and wide, and Steve doesn't want to see it ever go away.

“Nat’s birthday is tomorrow, and I think that this is an awesome present. Oh my god, Stevie I’m so happy right now!”

Steve hums in acknowledgement, taking a sip of his coffee before he leans forward and sets the mug down on the desk. “So, where are you gonna stay though? If they have your apartment.”

“Well,” Bucky rubs the back of his neck, putting the paper down and folding his hands. “I’m actually not too sure about that yet. I can ask Sam if I can stay with him and Maria for awhile, so I have somewhere to go while I look for an apartment. I’m really not to sure yet.”

Well, he and Bucky have been perfectly fine together so far. No problems or hassles, so, Steve decides to go for it. Fuck it. “Would you…uh… be comfortable, I don’t know…umm…staying here maybe?”

Bucky’s eyes stop their wondering and snap back at Steve in surprise. “Huh?”

“You could stay here, if you want to, that is. I can pay for the first few months in full for both of us, but maybe, eventually, we can split it? $1,000 ‘n $1,000 each?”

“But, Steve. We… barely know each other. You would let me stay here? I could be an assassin for all you know.” Bucky smirks.

Steve starts laughing. “Buck, we’ve shared a bed together already. We know each other enough to live in the same apartment. Plus, I highly doubt that you’re an assassin.”

“Why?”

“You snore to loud to be an assassin,”

“I do not!”

“Buck, I slept next to you last night. You snore.” _Bucky really doesn’t snore, but he’s not going to tell Bucky that_.

Bucky smiles at that and blushes slightly. “You’d really be okay with… letting me stay?”

“Of course Bucky. Of course.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Steve!”
> 
> “Coming Buck! One sec—”
> 
> “Steve!”
> 
> “Buck, I’m com—”
> 
> “Steve help me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this GIGANTIC chapter!  
> (P.S.: Okay, so there are a lot of pic references that will be in the end notes, so you can take a look either before or after you read, whatever you guys wanna do.)

The next day, Bucky walks over to his apartment, envelope in hand and Steve in tow with two folded up cardboard boxes tucked under his arm. Smiling at Steve, Bucky raises his hand and knocks on the door.

Natasha opens the door, blushing immediately. “He—hey James. I’m sorry, we didn—” But Bucky cuts her off in a bone crushing hug, picking her up and spinning her around. 

“Hey Nat. Where’s Clint?”

“Getting dressed, why—” But Bucky brushes past her, walking in. She turns and looks at Steve with an eyebrow raised, and he just shrugs his shoulders in return.

“Clint! Get out here, I need to talk to you!”

Clint steps out of Bucky’s bedroom, only wearing a pair of jeans as he towel dries his hands. “Hey Buck!”

“Hi Clint. Nat, c’mere for a sec.” Bucky stands in front of them, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“What?” Natasha asks.

Bucky hands the envelope to her, clasping it in her hands as he folds his own over them. He gives her hands a small squeeze, looking into her eyes as well as Clint, who is standing right behind her, looking at Bucky quizzically “Read this, both of you, don’t say anything, don’t argue. It’s all set in stone. You’ve both done so much for me, especially after… you know…” Bucky looks down, his thumbs tracing Natasha’s knuckles. She clicks her tongue sympathetically, and reaches up to cup Bucky’s face, her own thumb tracing his cheekbone gently. Bucky reaches up and places his hand over her’s before he continues, “This is the least I can do for you guys.”

He smiles again before letting her go. He motions for Steve to follow him into his bedroom to give the couple some privacy to read over the letter that Bucky had carefully written the night before. The pair spends time putting some of Bucky’s things in boxes: some clothes, his school supplies, and personal items. They leave the rest for Nat and Clint to use. They finish just as they hear someone clear their throat in the doorway. Bucky and Steve stop talking and look up from their position on the floor to see Natasha leaning against the door frame, her eyes red rimmed and a grateful smile on her lips. Bucky hasn’t seen her _truly_ smile in a long time, and it makes his heart soar to see it. He gets up from his position on the floor and walks towards Nat, enveloping her in a hug.

“I know you don’t like help Nat, but this will do you both some good.” Natasha smiles up at him. She throws her arms around his neck, sobbing into it. “Thank you James. Thank you thank you thank you.”

Bucky smiles and kisses the side of her head. “You’re welcome Nat.”

___________________________________________________________

It’s been a little over two months since Bucky has moved into Steve’s apartment, and boy, these two months have become a struggle for Steve. Not that he doesn’t enjoy Bucky’s company, which he does, believe him, it’s what Bucky is _doing_ to him. And the little fucker isn’t even aware of it either.

It starts with Bucky when he wakes in the morning. Steve usually leaves with Sam at around four fifty-five or five o’clock, and the come back at around six thirty to the apartment complex. When Steve walks through the door, Bucky is usually there, leaning against the counter, rubbing his eyes while the coffee machine spits out his coffee. Steve has also noticed that Bucky always has coffee, and sometimes breakfast, ready for Steve when he comes back to the apartment. And every morning, Bucky will look over his shoulder and smile, telling Steve good morning, and that his coffee’s ready. Then he’ll grab his coffee and walk to his bedroom (aka the guest room, now turned bedroom) to get dressed for class.

Except for Tuesdays. Both Steve and Bucky’s teachers don’t have class set up for Tuesdays, so when Steve comes back from his run, Bucky isn't in the kitchen, probably because he’s passed out in bed, but there is a fresh, hot cup of coffee waiting for him on the counter when he walks in. Every Tuesday.

Another thing that Bucky is doing that is making Steve’s self-control try to fly out the window, is when Bucky decides that it’s apparently a good idea to walk around shirtless through the apartment on days off from class or work. The first time Bucky did it was right after he got out of the shower on a Friday evening, two weeks after he moved in.

“Buck!” Steve called, walking into the apartment on that Friday, grocery bags in hand.

“Yeah Stevie?” Bucky called back from his room.

“I ordered some pizza for us tonight, and the guy is gonna be here in like, ten minutes or something,” Steve said, putting down his art bag in the hallway and walking into the kitchen, setting the bags down on the counter and opening the fridge. “I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick, so could you grab it when he comes?” Steve asked, back turned while he places some items in the fridge.

“Sure,” Bucky said, walking out of his room and plodding around the living room. “Hey Steve?”

“Yeah Buck?”

“Have you seen my music papers from yesterday’s recording down at the studio? The ones that I had on the counter earlier?” Steve can hear Bucky sifting through papers that are lying on the coffee table in the living room, and he hopes that he remembered to put away his sketchbook, because god help him if Bucky found it…

“I think I saw them by my canvases in the corner.”

“Wher—oh wait, found ‘em.” Bucky laughed. “Ha, thanks Steve.”

“No probl—” But Steve stops short, because there, standing in his living room, is a shirtless Bucky in nothing but some soft looking sweatpants. Steve wants nothing more than to go over there and kiss him, but he’s frozen to the spot. When Steve saved Bucky from the back alley almost three weeks ago, and he checked Bucky’s abdomen for any injuries, he knew Bucky had abs. But, _holy hell_ , Bucky had _abs_. Full on six pack, and the muscles on his arms are intense too. An image flashed in Steve’s mind before he could stop himself: It’s him and Bucky on his bed. He has Bucky’s arms pinned above his head while he nips and bites and licks his way across Bucky’s abs, kissing where he had just left marks—

“Steve?”

“Huh?” He replies dumbly.

Bucky started laughing, the sound as sweet as honey, and boy, does Steve want to taste it. “I asked if you were okay, Stevie.”

“Oh. Ye—yeah I’m gonna—good, uh—shower—go—yeah.” Steve walks out of the room, leaving Bucky alone with his shit-eating grin. Bucky knew that Steve was looking at his abs. Looking down at himself, he smiles, before he looks at his left arm. Frowning, he goes to his room to put on a t-shirt. It didn’t seem that Steve was bothered by the scars though, so Bucky deemed it okay to be shirtless again in the future.

Bucky plops down on the couch next to Steve, resting his head in Steve’s lap over his sketch book, stopping Steve from drawing and making him look at Bucky.

___________________________________________________________

“Yes Bucky, what do you need?”

“You, Stevie.” _Huh?_

“What?”

Bucky smirks and sits up, then crawls into Steve’s lap, caging him in on the couch. He looks down, carefully picking up the sketch book and places it to the side. Bucky looks deep into Steve’s eyes, as if he can see and hear what he’s thinking in this moment. He slowly and hesitantly leans forward, eyes flicking down to Steve’s lips then back up again.

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky breathes out, short and hollow.

Steve doesn’t let him continue, surging forward and crashing his lips against Bucky’s. The brunet moans into his mouth, parting his lips, and Steve takes that opportunity to lick his way into his mouth, meeting Bucky’s tongue halfway. Leaning forward, he bites at it and gives a small suck, causing the brunet to moan again. It’s soft at first, but then it’s getting rough and heated. When Bucky rolls his hips, Steve grabs Bucky’s waist while Bucky grabs Steve’s face in both hands, puling them impossibly closer, biting Steve’s bottom lip. Steve moves his hands, causing Bucky’s hips to move even faster and harder against his own. Bucky cooperates; his hands running through Steve’s short blonde hair, pulling his face closer as he licks deeper into his mouth and grinding his hips down even harder against Steve’s. 

Turning to the side, Steve lays them down on the couch, and this time he’s caging Bucky in. He attacks Bucky’s neck and positions himself between Bucky’s legs, rolling his hips down hard, and Bucky fucking _whimpers_ at the contact. They go about this for minutes, moaning into each other’s mouths and grabbing everywhere, rutting against each other like a couple of horny teenagers. Steve’s hands slowly make their way south, but as soon as Steve goes down to unbuckle Bucky’s belt, his alarm goes off.

Startled, Steve sits up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before he blinks several times, taking in the dark room. His eyes widen suddenly. Holy crap. He just had a dream about him and Bucky. Together. Kissing, and grabbing an—an—and moaning and _holy shit_. Steve looks down, immediately spotting the tent in his pants. He scrambles out of bed quickly and goes into the bathroom, taking an ice cold shower as Bucky’s name silently falls off his lips when he releases.

___________________________________________________________

“Steve!”

“Coming Buck! One sec—”

“Steve!”

“Buck, I’m com—”

“Steve help me!”

Steve jumps off the bed at the sound of Bucky needing help. His sketchbook and pencils fly to the opposite side of the bed as he gets up and runs out of the room. He runs through the no-mans land and towards the hallway, sliding and crashing into the wall because he forgot that he was wearing socks. There, standing in the hallway by the door, is Bucky, holding three large pumpkins in his arms as he struggles to close the door.

Steve rushes over, trying not to slip again, and grabs the one on top, making room so Bucky can actually see where he’s going. Once he catches sight of Bucky, his breath catches, as usual. Bucky’s eyes are bright with joy and excitement, lips pulled up in a huge grin as he walks past Steve, the latter shutting the door for him. Setting both pumpkins down on the kitchen counter, Bucky turns and grabs the one from Steve, placing it on the counter beside the other two.

“So? Whaddya think? These good enough?” Bucky is smiling as he shows Steve the pumpkins, sticking out his hands in presentation, and Steve can’t help but smile back, laughing. Bucky’s position just reminds him of a picture of Will Smith that Sam had shown him the other day.

“They’re perfect Buck.” Bucky smiles impossibly bigger, heart fluttering at the compliment.

“This one is for Clint and Nat,” Bucky says, picking one up and patting it. “And the other two are for you and me to carve. Can’t have Halloween without pumpkins!” Bucky leaves the apartment, saying he’ll be right back, as he goes to drop off the pumpkin to the couple next door. Steve goes over to the cabinet and grabs a large bowl for the pumpkin guts, and grabs some carving tools from his Halloween box under his bed, going back into the kitchen and placing them near the pumpkins.

Bucky comes back with a huge smile on his face. “They loved it Steve,” Bucky shouts, laughing as he closes the door behind him. “Nattie is probably gonna kill Clint though; he always makes a mess with the stupid guts and seeds, but oh well.”

Bucky rubs his hands together then shrugs off his jacket, exposing his insane muscles on his arms. Steve has to look away. He hears the jacket _thud_ on the couch when it lands. “So, whatcha gonna carve on your’s Stevie?”

“Probably your ugly mug,” Steve replies nonchalantly, getting out some knives.

Bucky scoffs, smug as hell. “Well, that’s gonna be the best lookin’ one on the block then.” 

“Yeah, probably.”

Bucky lowers his head to hide his burning cheeks. He wasn’t expecting that kind of answer; more of a scoff or snort of some kind. But not from Steve, because it really sounded like he was being sincere, which Bucky thinks is weird, because Steve doesn’t like him that way… right?

Steve and Bucky are sitting on the couch a few hours later, lying comfortably in sweats and eating toasted pumpkin seeds while watching a shitty horror movie. The air in New York has started becoming colder, so Bucky uses that as an excuse to stick his feet underneath Steve’s thigh as he lies back on the couch. Steve just glances at him and smirks.

“You cold?”

“You’re a fucking furnace, shut up.” Bucky crosses his arms, shivering. He hates the cold, because all it does is remind him of his family’s accident ten years ago, back when Bucky was sixteen years old. Bucky shakes the memory out of his head, and sees Steve looking at him with a concerned expression.

“You okay?”

Bucky smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and immediately Steve knows that something is wrong. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Steve huffs and stares at Bucky. Bucky stares back. This goes on for a few seconds, until Steve opens his arms, signaling for Bucky to come to him, which he reluctantly does, insisting he’s fine. Bucky settles into Steve’s lap, wrapping his arms around Steve’s torso and lying his head against Steve’s collarbone while Steve absentmindedly strokes his back. After a few minutes, Steve speaks up, “Wanna talk about it?”

“‘M not ready to yet… ‘m sorry Stevie…” Steve’s heart breaks at the sound of Bucky’s sadness.

“No, Bucky no. Don’t apologize. Do you wanna lie down?” When Bucky nods into the crook of Steve’s neck, Steve turns so he can lie back on the couch, Bucky settling on top of him. He grabs a blanket that is laying near them, and pulls it over both of them. They fall asleep within minutes, the shitty movie continuing to play in the background as Steve continues to rub Bucky’s back in his sleep.

Steve wakes up at around midnight when Bucky makes a small move in his sleep. Glancing around the room, he sees that the TV has automatically turned off and that the apartment is dark. He gets up from the couch and stretches, while Bucky protests in his sleepy haze.

“Steve, wham mmmm phft?” Bucky mumbles into the couch when Steve stands up, too lazy to lift up his head.

“It’s almost midnight,” Steve says, evidently understanding Bucky’s gibberish. “Let’s go to bed, or else your gonna bitch about it tomorrow morning, and we have class. Plus, it’s Halloween tomorrow too.”

Bucky rolls over on the couch and his right forearm ends up on top of his head when he moves. He peers up at Steve through squinted eyes, “Okay…” He yawns, and Steve finds it adorable the way Bucky scrunches up his nose. “Up.” Bucky makes grabby hands at Steve, because he’s a mature adult.

Steve picks him up, and he can’t help but laugh when Bucky basically wraps himself around his body like an octopus. “Fuckin’ lazy ass.”

“Shut ‘ap.” Bucky yawns again, resting his cheek against Steve’s, nuzzling it softly.

“Steve…” Bucky mutters into Steve’s ear, the sudden flow of warm air sending a small tingle down his spine, and suddenly he’s all too aware. His hands are clasped together under Bucky’s ass, their hips pressed flush together, Bucky’s ankles hooked around Steve’s torso and his arms around his neck, their cheeks pressed together, and Bucky’s lips are a fraction of an inch away from Steve’s ear. He hasn’t realized that he stopped walking until he feels another rush of warm air, meaning Bucky’s talking to him.

“Hmm?”

He feels Bucky let out a breathless chuckle, before he speaks up again, this time moving his head closer to Steve’s ear, and his lips accidentally touch Steve’s lobe. He tries not to shiver. “Are you gonna walk ‘er not?”

Steve lets out a chuckle that tries to come out as a moan instead. “I’m walking, I’m walking. Happy?”

Bucky hums in affirmation while Steve absentmindedly walks into his own bedroom, placing Bucky onto his bed and helping him get under the covers. He freezes just as he covers Bucky; _shit_ , this is his bed. He brought Bucky in here and didn’t even realize it. Steve tries to think of a solution to this, and finally decides that he’s just gonna let Bucky sleep in here and he can go sleep in Bucky’s room. Problem solved.

“Steve?” 

Bucky’s sleep glazed voice pulls him out of his thoughts. He glances to the other side of the bed where Bucky is currently lying. Even in the dark, he can see Bucky squinting up at him.

“Yeah Buck?” Steve says uneasily, leaning over the mattress to better hear Bucky.

“Why are you still standing up?”

“Well, umm… I—”

Bucky grabs at his wrist, “C’mon, we’ve got class tomorrow. Come to bed already,”

Bucky doesn’t even wait for him to respond, he just tugs on Steve’s arm a bit more before Steve finally gives in, climbing into bed. He settles under the covers slowly, still slightly unsure. Before he gets the chance to turn around and let Bucky sleep privately, Bucky turns around in the bed and shuffles closer to him. He sees Bucky sit up slightly and reach over to him. Bucky’s hands rest on his arms, and suddenly, Bucky’s uncrossing the arms that Steve had folded atop his chest. He lifts his arms up, unsure of what to do next, but Bucky seems to have that covered. Steve looks down and sees Bucky cuddle into his side, throwing his right arm over his torso and tucking his other arm in-between their bodies. He feels Bucky worm his legs in-between his, intertwining them together as he settles against him.

Steve swallows nervously before he starts to lower his arms. He tentatively places them atop Bucky, slowly wrapping them around the man on top of him. He feels Bucky smile against his collarbone and hold his torso a little tighter. Steve smiles and lets out a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding in, fully enveloping Bucky in his arms before he feels himself begin to drift off.

Steve still has a smile on his face when he falls asleep; completely out within a matter of minutes.

Bucky tilts his head upward to look at Steve’s sleeping face, and the small movement makes Steve tighten his hold around him in his sleep. Bucky smirks, before he tentatively reaches up with is right hand to cup the side of Steve’s face. He lifts his head upwards the rest of the way, tilting Steve’s downward just a tad, and comes close to Steve’s lips. Glancing back and forth between Steve’s lips and Steve’s eyes to make sure he’s still sleeping, Bucky closes his own eyes and presses a soft kiss on the corner of Steve’s mouth, keeping his lips there for a few seconds before he pulls away, opening his eyes. Steve is still asleep, thank goodness. Bucky caresses Steve’s cheek as he continues to stare at Steve’s sleeping expression, and completely denies that Steve’s smile looks a little bit bigger.

“G’night Stevie,”

___________________________________________________________

“So, have you guys knocked each other up yet?” Sam asks casually the next morning.

Steve almost chokes on his coffee as he stares at Sam, eyes wide and face burning.

“What?!”

Sam sighs and sits up straighter, folding his hands over each other as he looks Steve in the eye. “Have you. And Bucky. Knoc—.”

“No!” Steve sputters out, completely interrupting Sam mid-sentence. He, Sam, Bucky, Natasha, and Clint, had all agreed to meet up at the coffee shop after class so they could all walk to a costume store to find costumes for tonight’s party over at Stark Tower. Bucky apparently had some weird connection with Stark, (Steve reminds himself to ask Bucky about it at some point), and that had been enough to get them all into the party. “Sam, you can’t just say stuff like that! ‘Sides, not like he likes me anyways, so….”

Sam stares at his with a blank expression. “Are you really that blind, Rogers?”

What? Steve looks at him, confusion immediately taking over his features. Surely Sam can’t be implying that Bucky…. Could he? Steve heart flutters in hope, and he’s about to question Sam when he hears Bucky call his name. “Steve?”

Steve turns around and sees Bucky, Clint, and Natasha walking into the café. “Over here Buck!” Steve turns back and glances at Sam across the table, giving him a warning look that says _‘you open your mouth I punch you’_. Sam smirks in response and just shrugs his shoulders.

“Hey Stevie,” Bucky sits down next to Steve, flashing him a smile that Steve can’t help but reciprocate.

Clint and Natasha take a seat at the table, immediately starting up a conversation. “So, do you guys know what you’re going to dress up as for tonight?” Natasha asks as she steals Sam’s coffee and takes a sip, leaving Sam sending out a slew of protests in return.

“Yep,” Bucky says, leaning back and throwing his right arm behind Steve’s chair. Steve tries not to think anything of it, but Sam said— _dammit it Sam, you put these thoughts in my head!_ , he curses himself and the man in front of him, who is currently sending death glares at Natasha. 

“And what’s that?” Sam asks, stealing back his coffee from Natasha with an added glare.

“The Winter Soldier,” He responds with a shit-eating grin, looking over at Steve. With his arm behind the chair, it would be so easy, _oh_ so easy, to grab Steve and pull him into a kiss, but Bucky refrains. Steve probably doesn’t like him that way anyways, he tells himself.

“From the comics?” Steve asks, intrigued.

“Yes Sir, that’s right,” Clint responds. “Can’t get this fucker to be anything else for Halloween.”

“Hey! No hate bro. You know why I like him anyways; you know my reasons Clint,” Bucky responds with a slightly tilted smile. It’s the best he can do at the moment, other than frown and completely disclose himself from the group. After his family’s accident, he discovered The Winter Soldier comics, and that was his safe haven during recovery. Plus, it helped when he could relate to the character.

Steve could sense the tension at the table, and quickly changed subject. “What about you Nat? What are you gonna be?”

“Black Widow,” She responds, leaning back in her chair with a smile. Clint throws his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer and giving her a kiss on her temple. Bucky wishes he could do that with Steve, but… oh well. Steve doesn’t like him.

“Nice, I’m gonna be Captain America.” Steve says, taking a sip of his coffee.

Bucky chokes on air and tries to cover it up in a cough. Steve immediately looks over at him and goes to pat Bucky’s back, but Bucky waves him away. An image of Steve in tights had flooded Bucky’s mind, and he wills it away with his cough.

“You okay man?” Sam asks with genuine concern, even though amusement laces every word.

Bucky coughs again and clears his throat. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.” He clears his throat again and smiles up at Steve. Steve really needs to work on getting used to Bucky’s smile and his bright eyes, because his breath catches again. They stare at each other until Sam clears his throat, and they both simultaneously look in his direction. 

“Are you guys ready to go? Or are you going to continue staring dreamily at each other?” 

Bucky blushes and looks down, biting his lip while Steve glares at Sam. Bucky cannot believe that Sam literally just said that. However, he should have expected it. After late night and early morning conversations at the recording studio of Bucky telling Sam all about how he basically really likes Steve, he honestly should have expected it.

They all awkwardly continue conversation at the table for a few more minutes, before they get up and leave to walk to the Halloween store down the block from the coffee shop.

Entering the store, Bucky screams his head off, and Steve goes into protective mode instantly.

“Holy shit!”

There, by the door, is a Halloween decoration that makes noise when an object crosses it’s motion sensor. It’s a tall version of the Grim Reaper, probably about seven feet or so high. It waves around it’s scythe; up and down, while a wretched sound comes from the sound box in its torso.

Bucky backs up into Steve, eyes wide and full of surprise. Steve instinctively wraps his arms around Bucky, pulling him closer to himself and farther from the decoration. Natasha rolls her eyes and strolls past them, adjusting the sunglasses on her head and heading straight to the costume section. Clint and Sam are gasping for air, gripping each other to keep from falling on the ground from laughter as they walk past Steve and Bucky, leaving them behind by the entrance.

Bucky looks mortified. He glares at the Grimm Reaper with cold eyes. “Fucker,” He mutters under his breath, and Steve lets out a breathy chuckle, but his arms go tighter, _just_ in case.

“You okay?”

Bucky turns around in Steve’s arms, burying himself into Steve’s open jacket, groaning loudly as he knocks his forehead against Steve’s pectoral. Steve’s eyes flutter closed as he feels Bucky’s hot breath through his shirt, right above his nipple. He bites his lip, the only thing he can do, besides kiss Bucky stupid with every ounce of his being.

Steve has been wanting to act on his impulse of kissing Bucky ever since he moved in. Now, it’s been _two months_ since Bucky has moved in with him. He hasn’t gotten laid since the day after he rescued Bucky from the alley, and that was almost two months ago. It was no surprise really, that he went to a bar and picked up a guy that had some of the same physical features as Bucky: tall, muscular, brown hair. Only thing was, he wasn’t Bucky. He didn’t have Bucky’s personality, or charm, or sarcasm, or smile. And he didn’t have Bucky’s scars on his arm.

Yeah, Steve noticed the scars, but he never said anything or asked about them. He didn’t know if Bucky wanted to talk about them, or talk about how he got them in the first place. Steve connected the dots after a few weeks of Bucky moving in that the scars were most likely connected to why Bucky had nightmares. When Bucky first moved in, once a week or once every two weeks, Bucky would come into Steve’s room due to being woken up from a nightmare. Steve didn’t mind though. He would hold Bucky in his lap and rub his back as Bucky cried his _single_ tear and trembled.

Steve has no idea what Bucky used to have to do when he lived alone next door, and he doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to think of Bucky being alone in a dark, cold room, cradling himself in an effort to calm down. Steve doesn’t want to think about Bucky having flashbacks all alone with no one there to tell him that ‘he’s okay, he’s fine, and nothing bad is going to happen’. Steve is here now, and he’s not going to let Bucky suffer like that ever again. And if one day Bucky wants to tell Steve the reasoning behind the nightmares and flashbacks, then Steve will be there listening with his arms open wide to comfort him. If not, then that’s okay too. Steve’s not going anywhere.

“That was so embarrassing, oh my _god_.”

“You’ll live Buck,”

“No I won’t Steve,” Bucky changes his demeanor instantly and starts to sag in Steve’s arms, and Steve trying desperately to keep Bucky upright, but it’s not working.

“Bucky, no no no,” Steve says, a grin breaking out on his face. He’s played this kind of game with Bucky before, but never in public; not that he really cares though, because this is hilarious. They’ve done this when Bucky accidentally cut his finger while chopping tomatoes for dinner one night, and they put on a whole show in the apartment kitchen, just the two of them. It ended with Bucky on the ground and Steve crying over his ‘dead’ body for several seconds, before they started feeling water on the floor beside them. They both opened their eyes, even though Bucky was supposed to be ‘dead’, and saw that they had left the water on in the sink and it was overflowing on them. Steve turned it off before things got really out of hand, but he turned back around and saw that Bucky was covered in soap bubbles and cut up tomato slices, and he couldn’t help but laugh. Bucky glared at him before launching himself at Steve and rubbing soap and tomatoes in his hair. It was fun, to say the least.

“It’s the end for me, Steve,” Bucky falls so low that he’s on the ground with Steve on his knees next to him, trying his best to keep up the act.

“You’re gonna be fine Buck, hang on.” Steve says. They are both lying on the ground by the entrance. Bucky is in Steve’s arms, holding his hands as he proclaims his last dying breaths.

Sam, Natasha, and Clint are all peeking out of the aisles of the store, looking at the scene currently going on at the entrance. Even the poor cashier is looking at the pair by the door in confusion, but also like she’s trying not to laugh. Sam laughs and turns his head, looking over at Clint to see him recording the scene on his phone.

“Clint!” Sam tries to take away the phone, but Clint just looks up and runs to the opposite end of the store, Sam right behind him, shouting at him to turn off the video. Clint just lifts the phone over his shoulder to record Sam while the latter chases him throughout the store.

“Clint!”

“Ha ha! Suck it Sam, you—fuck!” Clint slips on a wig lying in an aisle at the far end of the store. He goes crashing to the floor, sliding a few feet down the aisle, but he’s still holding the phone protectively to his chest, the video still recording as Sam gets down on the floor and crawls over Clint and tries to get the phone. Laughing, he finally clicks the ‘end video’ button, the video ending on an image of Sam’s face squished up against Clint’s, both of them grinning like idiots.

The pair by the door is completely oblivious to the commotion on the other end of the store, both of them too wrapped up in each other’s mind to even care.

“This is the end Stevie,” Bucky says, eyes drooping. “This is the end of the line pal…”

“Don’t leave me Buck, I can’t do this without you.” Steve says, pretending to cry by shaking shoulders and pulling Bucky into him, cradling the brunet in his arms. He can feel Bucky laugh softly into the crook of his neck, if the sudden rush of warm air is anything to go by. As much as this is all pretend, he means every word. He can’t do this without Bucky.

Bucky can’t take it anymore. He starts laughing into Steve’s shirt, unable to control himself. Soon enough, Steve joins him, and there they are; just a pair of idiots sitting on the floor, laughing their asses off without a care in the world, holding each other as a life line.

Until the Grim Reaper makes another noise when Bucky’s leg crosses the sensor as the brunet tries to stand up, and he squeaks out a noise of surprise as he lands on his butt on the cold tile floor. _Idiot_.

___________________________________________________________

Bucky is standing in front of the mirror of his bathroom, right leg propped up on the sink as he straps the fake guns to his thighs. He knows that he’s going to be checked at the door of Stark Tower, but he’ll get the guns back once the guards give him the all clear.

Putting his leg down, he looks at his bare chest. He thinks he looks okay, other than the fact that he has scaring all up his left side of his torso and halfway down his left arm, starting at the shoulder then stopping at his elbow. Sighing, he grabs the fake metal arm slip cover and pulls it over his left arm, adjusting it into the proper position. When he bought the arm at the Halloween Store, he made sure that this one had good ventilation, because the one he wore last year almost made him sweat off his entire arm.

Bucky looks back in the mirror and smiles. To be honest with himself, he thinks he looks pretty good. He already did his hair to make it look similar to that of The Winter Soldier. His black combat pants look killer on his legs, and they shape perfectly around his ass. He considers just going like this, without a shirt. All he wants to do is put on his face mask and call it good. But he doesn’t. Its already autumn, and the cold air started moving into New York. He hates the cold, and has hated it ever since the accident.

Bucky shakes the memory out of his mind, and goes back to getting ready. He looks around the counter top for his cosplay make-up so he can create a fake stubble on his face, but he can’t find it. Yesterday, after carving pumpkins with Steve, he shaved his face, completely forgetting that he needed his stubble for his costume tonight. Sighing, he goes into his bedroom and picks up the shopping bag from the Halloween Store, only to find it empty.

“What the fuck? Where is it?” Bucky huffs as he sets the bag down. He paces the dimensions of the room, even looking under the bed to see if it fell out of the bag and rolled under. But it’s not there; not in his bedroom or his bathroom. Bucky gets up off the ground and walks out of the room, heading for the kitchen.

“Hey Steve?” Bucky calls from the hallway. He knows Steve just got out of the shower, if the noisy pipes shutting off are any indication.

“Yeah Buck?” Buck can hear the bathroom door in Steve’s bedroom being opened and Steve’s wet feet padding around in his room.

“Can I look in your shopping bag for my make-up? I can’t find it in my bags.”

“Go ahead,”

“Thanks Stevie!” He looks around in the shopping bag on the kitchen counter, pushing past Steve’s Captain America costume to the very bottom of the bag. There, sitting at the bottom, is Bucky’s container of make-up. Bucky grins and reaches in, grabbing the container and pulling it out.

“You find it?”

“Yeah! Thanks Steve!” Bucky scurries back to his room, happy and excited to get in full costume.

Steve chuckles when Bucky shouts, ‘Thanks Steve!’ and then runs back to his bedroom. He can already tell that Bucky is probably grinning like an idiot in front of the mirror as he puts on his make-up.

Steve wraps the towel around his waist and strolls out into the no-mans land between the kitchen and the living room. He grabs his costume out of the bag and walks back to his room. With some maneuvering and patience, Steve finally gets into his outfit. He walks into his bathroom and fixes his hair, ruffling it up a bit. He tells himself that he’s not trying to look good for Bucky, but he can’t convince himself otherwise.

He sighs, lowering his head. He pulls a small grin then looks back up into the mirror to look at his reflection. _He’s so fucked for Bucky_. But…. Bucky doesn’t like him that way. If Steve really thinks about it, he actually has no idea of Bucky’s sexual interest. _Maybe it’s you Steve_ , his brain tells him, but Steve, being the stubborn ass that he is, won’t allow himself to believe it.

“You ready Stevie?” Steve hears Bucky call from the hallway.

“Coming!” Steve runs to his closet and grabs the shield that he uses every year. It’s large, durable, and lightweight, and his mother gave it to him for his birthday the year before she died, so he likes to keep it close. He decides to forgo the helmet that came with the costume and just throws it on the bed. Strapping on the shield to his back, he walks out of the room, turning around to close the door.

He turns back around to see Bucky bending down to tie his black boot laces, and Steve thinks he might pass out. Bucky looks as hot as hell. The metal arm contrasts perfectly with the dark combat pants and grey vest. Steve’s mouth is watering and he fights every instinct and urge to grab Bucky and pin him up against the wall and stick his tongue down his throat and—

“Steve,”

“Huh?” Steve answers back dumbly.

Bucky cackles out a laugh. “I asked you if I should wear my mask or not for the party.”

“No,” Steve says a little to quickly. He can’t imagine that Bucky would want to cover up those plush kissable lips.

“Ha ha, alrighty then,” Bucky tosses the mask onto the counter with a laugh and he picks up his phone and some cash for a taxi and walks towards the door. He throws a smirk over his shoulder when he catches Steve looking at his ass as he turns the corner. “C’mon Stevie!”

Steve all but runs after him.

___________________________________________________________

“By the way, your ass looks great in leggings,” Bucky says right before he walks through the metal detector positioned at Stark Tower’s main lobby. He spins around with his hands in the air then steps out, grabbing his fake weapons from the guards and turns to wait for Steve.

Steve blushes furiously as he walks through the metal detector, scowling at Bucky as he lifts his arms and turns around in a circle. Bucky just laughs in return. Steve grabs his shield and attaches it to his back, glaring at Bucky when he approaches him.

“Don’t be like that Stevie,” Bucky says, hooking his arm through Steve’s and walking towards the elevator with a few other party goers.

“Whatever, my ass looks fine.” Steve grumbles under his breath as they get into the elevator and walk to the very back. They get pushed into a corner when the elevator gets too full, and Steve tries to remember how to breathe.

Right before the elevator reaches Stark’s “party” floor, Bucky leans real close to Steve, their arms still hooked together, and he whispers, sweet and warm into Steve’s ear. “Your ass looks amazing in tights Stevie,”

Well…if that doesn’t go straight to Steve’s dick…

Bucky pulls back and smirks, and the elevator doors open, and Steve gets pulled out by Bucky and they head straight to the bar. Steve definitely needs a drink after that.

The pair sits at the bar for the first two and a half hours, laughing and chatting away with  the rest of the gang once they arrive at Stark Tower. They are all sitting at the bar enjoying each other’s company when, out of nowhere, a man comes behind Natasha, asking if she would like to ‘get outta here’.

Natasha turns and looks him in the eye, and Bucky tenses. He knows that look. He’s seen Natasha pull it one too many times whenever he takes her and Clint out to a bar for a Friday night drink. Natasha gets up and politely tries to tell the man no, but he’s not having it. He’s dressed in just a suit, clearly not getting into the spirit of Halloween. That’s another thing that bothers Natasha: people who don’t get into the spirit of the holidays.

“C’mon baby, I can be real good for you.”

Natasha pats his shoulder, clearly uncomfortable. “I bet you would be, but no thank you.”

“Now, now sweetheart,” The man says, caging her in at the bar. “Where do you think you’re going? We can go back to my condo honey. Just you and me, and I can peel you outta this cat suit. C’mon hon, let’s—”

“Killian.” Clint growls behind the pair. He just was having a conversation with an old friend that he met up with in the elevator, and he comes back to see another man trying to hit on his girlfriend. Geez, he’s gone for what? Five minutes? And it all goes to shit!

Killian rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the counter, turning to look at Clint.

“Barton, nice to see you again. How’s poverty treating you?”

“Just fine, thanks.” Clint stares back at him with stone cold eyes. “Now, can you please step away from my girlfriend?”

Killian laughs and shrugs his shoulders. “Or what? You gonna shoot me with your little cupid bow?”

Natasha steps around Killian and towards Clint.

“Babe,” She soothes, trying to calm Clint, even though she would much rather release Clint and have him shoot the shit out of Killian. But, she doesn’t want to cause a scene at the house of the richest guy in New York. “Babe, come on,” She tugs his arm. “He’s not worth it.”

“Yeah Barton,” Killian says, then he suddenly grabs Natasha’s wrist when they try to walk away. “But she’s staying with me.”

Natasha turns and Killian doesn't even stand a chance. She twists her wrist in his hand, spinning around to get behind him. She spins her leg and catches his ankles, sending him to the ground. Natasha lands gracefully like a cat, then stands up next to Clint, and he wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her as close as he can to himself, as if he’s afraid she’ll die if he lets go.

A single strand of clapping can be heard behind them over the noise of the party. Bucky, Steve, Clint, and Natasha all turn their heads to see none other than Tony Stark walking slowly towards the group in a…… _purple_ suit……, and Killian is still groaning on the floor in agony.

“Well,” Tony says, taking off his red-tinted sunglasses and folding them closed. He makes a small movement with his fingers. “Happy, would you be a dear please and clean up this pile of dog shit on the floor?”

Before Tony even finishes speaking, a man, a little taller than Tony, and a bit, well, _fluffier,_ than Tony as well, comes before them and grabs Killian by his suit collar, hauling him off the ground. He secures one hand around Killian’s arm and leads him to the elevator.

Looking over his shoulder, Killian smirks and calls, “See you soon Baby!”

That does it for Clint. 

He reaches over to Bucky and takes the empty shot glass out of his hand, aims for Killian’s head, and throws. It hits the bastard right smack in the center of his head. Killian collapses in Happy’s arms, completely out cold, but Happy doesn’t really care, for he just hauls Killian over his shoulder and walks into the elevator, the doors closing softly behind him.

“Thought he would never leave,” Tony says, then sticks out his hand to Natasha and Clint, “Hello there, I’m Tony Stark.”

Natasha rolls her eyes as she takes his hand. “Never would’ve guessed,”

“That’s why I told you.”

Natasha just rolls her eyes again, not bothering to do much else.

Tony looks over in Bucky’s direction and smiles wide, recognition flittering over his eyes. “Barnes?”

“Hey Stark,”

“Holy crap, kiddo c’mere!” Tony exclaims, walking towards Bucky. Tony pulls Bucky off the barstool and envelopes him in a giant bear hug. Bucky tucks his head into the crook of Tony’s neck, wrapping his arms around the older man’s waist as they embrace.

Steve smiles at the sight, completely filled with affection. The men pull apart, big smiles on their faces. Tony pulls him in again and hugs him just a tad longer, giving him a quick kiss on Bucky’s temple. Tony whispers something into Bucky’s ear that Steve can’t quite catch, but it’s something along the lines of _‘everything okay?’_ ; Steve’s not sure what he means by that though, he’ll have to ask Bucky about it later.

Bucky pulls away from Tony with a small, sad smile. “Yeah, I’m hanging in there. You know me Tony.”

Tony nods and steps back from Bucky, giving him a small clap on the shoulder, and turns his attention back to the redhead and her boyfriend.

Tony nods in their direction. “Would you guys mind coming with me for a moment?”

Bucky watches Tony with some confusion, then looks in Nat’s direction. He watches her share an uneasy glance with Clint before she grabs his hand and they both follow Tony to his private elevator that Bucky knows leads to his office at the top of the tower.

“What was that about?” Steve asks, taking a sip of third beer of the night. Not that it matters though, because it takes a lot to get him drunk.

“No idea pal,” Bucky responds, coming back to his bar stool and sitting down, legs spreading comfortably as he does so. Steve looks down to Bucky’s crotch without meaning too, and he snaps his eyes back up, looking around the room at the drunk party goers out on the dance floor, hoping to cover up the fact that he was looking at Bucky’s crotch.

It doesn’t. Bucky saw Steve’s eyes, clear as day, snap down to his spreading legs. Bucky bites his lip to stop his growing smirk, and spreads his legs just a little wider, one of the faux guns on his thigh accidentally tapping Steve.

Steve looks over to Bucky to see him smiling coyly. Steve all but rolls his eyes in response, cheeks burning, and the rose-tinged flesh travels under his Captain America suit and down his chest underneath. Even tonight, Bucky still wants to know how far down that blush travels.

___________________________________________________________

Steve and Bucky stumble out of Stark tower, laughing their asses off to some bullshit joke that just spewed from Bucky’s mouth. They are hanging onto each other as they walk down the sidewalk. They had decided to forgo the cab and instead elected to walk home. Their apartment isn’t to far for the Stark Tower, only about a thirty minute walk, give or take five minutes.

Steve’s arms are around Bucky’s shoulders with Bucky’s arms wrapped around Steve’s waist, and Bucky feels happy and giddy and warm and drunk and _safe_.

It’s odd, if he has to be honest with himself. He’s only known Steve for a little over two months, and literally moved in with him almost a week after he met the blonde bastard. But… he can’t help but feel like he’s known Steve longer. He feels so comfortable with Steve, it’s kinda crazy. Normally, he isn’t that open with people he’s basically just met, but with Steve, it’s different. He trusts Steve with every cell in his body and with every ounce of his entire being. He’d take a bullet for Steve if it meant Steve would stay alive. He’d die for Steve if it meant that the blonde could live to see another day.

That’s what’s confusing Bucky. He doesn’t usually develop affection for people this quick. He’s known Natasha, Clint and Sam since high school, right after his family’s accident, back when he was only sixteen years old. He instantly changed schools, not wanting to stay in Nebraska anymore, due to the fact that it reminded him too much of his family.

That accident had brutally changed Bucky. The once happy going, energetic teen turned into a quiet and distant one. He didn’t go to parties, didn’t have social media (he deleted all his accounts when people started sending him DM’s full of sympathy and remorse. He couldn’t take it), and he didn’t have friends.

That was until his first year and SHIELD High, one of the top high school’s in New York. On his very first day, he sat in the back of class, his hoodie over his head as he listened to the teacher begin the morning, starting with, _“Good morning class! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving break!”_

Bucky froze. Part of him wanted to spit out, _“Mornin’ lady, I had a fucking horrible Thanksgiving break. How was yours?”_ , and another part of him just wanted to get up and leave class and hop on a goddamned rocket and get the fuck off Earth.

He didn't do either, and just opted for letting a single tear run down his face when the teacher began her lecture on the human body. He didn't speak up at all during class, and even though he hated his teacher this morning, he was glad that she didn't introduce him to the class, or worse, make him introduce himself. She probably knew the reason why he transferred to this school and knew better than to make him stand up.

He shed a total of only three tears throughout the first class, and he stared at his books the entire time, not noticing a redhead looking at him every so often from the corner of her eye.

His morning went by in a blur. He didn't retain much information from any of his morning classes so far, and he didn't talk to anyone at all, ducking out of class right as the bell rung. He never noticed the redhead always looking out after him, seeing where he was going next, then following after him. Turned out they had every class together that day, and everyday after that for the entire school year.

It was lunch time. Bucky headed outside of the cafeteria and went to the right. He stopped when he got to the edge of the school building, which was only about twenty feet or so from the cafeteria doors. He leaned up against the wall and slid down until he was in a seated position. He tucked his knees up and rested one arm, his left, which was covered in his jacket sleeve, over his knees and rested his chin on his knee caps, while the other hand lay on the concrete beside him.

He did nothing else the whole time other than just sit there, looking out and watching other students walk and talk on the dried-grass lawn about twenty yards in front of him. They all had good lives. So care free and irresponsible, probably filled with love and hope and care and a goddamned fucking _family_.

Another single tear fell from his eye and rolled down his cheek, but he made no move to wipe it away. He heard footsteps coming toward him, but he didn’t turn his head in that direction, continuing to look straight ahead. The steps suddenly stopped, then that mysterious person slid down the wall to the right of Bucky and sat down next to him. He still didn’t dare look at them.

He felt something warm and smooth lay atop his right hand which was resting on the concrete. He looked down to see a slim female’s hand atop his. Her nails painted a cherry red, and she had a ring on her ring finger. He looked up to the girl’s face with swollen eyes. Her green eyes were blood shot from crying, and she even had tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

“You probably don’t want pity,” She said hoarsely, her throat wrecked from crying on her boyfriend’s shoulder in the bathroom earlier, turning to look away from Bucky and looked forward to the other students lounging away on the grass. “And that’s okay. I’m not going to pity you, but I am going to stay here with you. I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to tell me; I’m not expecting you to actually. But, I’m not gonna leave you here. Even if it means we miss class. I think you’ve had too many people leave you already…but…I’m not…I’m not going to leave you.” She held his hand tighter and closed her eyes, a single tear falling from his face again in the process as she leaned her head back against the cold solid brick wall.

They stayed there, sitting on the ground, until the end of the day, and missed a total of three classes. They both didn’t care though. Bucky had the mysterious green eyed redhead to comfort him that day, and he’s kept her by his side ever since.

Bucky and Steve turn a street corner and see their apartment building in sight. Bucky is so drunk. He probably should not have challenged Nat to a round of twenty-one shots of vodka at the bar, but, nothing he can do about it now.

Steve is struggling to keep hold of Bucky; well, more like struggling to _control_ Bucky. The stupid brunet had scared a poor young couple on the way home by wrangling out of Steve’s grasp and sprinting past the couple, yelling at the top of his lungs, _‘The British are coming! The British are coming!’_. Then after Steve had gotten control of Bucky again, Bucky thought Steve was a police man, and started spewing out complaints of, _“But officer, it’s not myyy faulttt……It was the unicorn’s fault. Do you believe me officer? Officer? Officer, why are you laughing at me?”_. Steve couldn’t help but roll his eyes and tell Bucky that he believed him and that he wasn’t in trouble and that he’ll arrest the unicorn if it made Bucky happy. Bucky said it did.

Steve manages to get them into the apartment, both of them stumbling inside. Steve lets go of Bucky so he can turn and lock the door. But when he turns back to help Bucky get to bed, but the brunet is gone from the hallway.

Steve panics instantly. “Bucky?” He calls, turning right at the end of the small hallway and going into the kitchen. He walks into the kitchen to see Bucky standing _on top_ of the counter, a fly swatter in hand as he tries to kill a fly on the ceiling.

“Bucky!”

“Yeah Stevie?” Bucky says, not looking at Steve, but directing all his attention on the fly a few feet in front of him on the ceiling.

“Why are you on the counter?!” Steve is in full shock. How the _hell_ did Bucky get on the counter so quickly when all he did was turn around for less than three seconds?

“I’m trying to kill this stupid fly. It was buggin’ me the whole time while we were getting ready earlier.” He suddenly stops looking at the fly, completely forgetting about it as he smiles wide and looks at Steve. “Get it? Buggin’? ‘Cause it’s a fly?”

Steve sighs and rubs a hand over his face then pulls his shield off his back and sets it atop the counter. “Yes I get it. Can you please come down now? You’re gonna get hurt.”

“No ‘m not,”

“Yes you are,”

“No I’m not. ‘M very careful,” Bucky says as he tosses the fly swatter to the side and proceeds to start walking across the counter towards the edge, rubbing his eyes closed as he tries to stay awake.

Steve sees Bucky start walking towards the edge and rushes over just in time to catch Bucky as he falls off the edge with a small ‘yelp’. Steve catches Bucky bridal-style, and cradles Bucky close to his chest; like, if he lets go, he’ll lose Bucky forever. Bucky looks up at him with a drunken smile and lifts his hand, proceeding to pat Steve’s cheek lazily.

“My hero,” And Bucky kisses Steve on the opposite cheek before he promptly falls asleep in Steve’s arms.

Steve freezes. Bucky just… _Bucky_ just _kissed_ him. Holy shit. Steve looks down to see the brunet fast asleep in his arms. Steve smiles to himself, thinking about how he liked the feeling of Bucky’s lips on his cheek. If he nuzzles his face closer to Bucky, well, that’s only for him to know.

Steve gets Bucky into his bed and gets him ready to go to sleep. Once Bucky is in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt (both of which are Steve’s), Steve leaves his bedroom and goes into the bathroom and slowly peels off his Captain America suit, putting on a pair of sweats. After washing his face and brushing his teeth, Steve turns off the light in the bathroom and crawls into bed beside Bucky, pulling the covers over the both of them.

Steve knows that when Bucky gets really drunk, he tends to be more likely to get nightmares, so Steve would rather just stay here with Bucky and comfort him. Not because he likes sleep next to Bucky.

Steve reaches over Bucky’s body with his left arm to turn off the light in the bedroom, and flips the switch next to the bed frame, encasing the room in black. Steve goes to lean back and put his back to Bucky, so not to make it awkward, but a hand suddenly catches his wrist. Steve looks over to see Bucky sleepily pull Steve’s left arm over his body and wrap it around his torso. Bucky lays his arm atop Steve’s and nuzzles the pillow beside him in a sleepy drunken daze, and falls asleep soon after. It’s not long before Steve falls asleep, pulling Bucky closer to his body and against his chiseled chest, with his face buried in Bucky’s hair, breathing in the scent of his shampoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> Okayyyy, first things first, (imma a realest, lol no but haha) here are some pics; such as the costumes and what not:
> 
> ## Bucky’s ‘Will Smith’ Pose
> 
> ## Bucky’s Halloween Costume
> 
> ## Steve’s Halloween Costume
> 
> ## Natasha’s Halloween Costume
> 
> ## Clint’s Halloween Costume
> 
> ## Sam’s Halloween Costume
> 
> ## Tony’s…..outfit
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Okie dokie, some more notes.  
> 1) The chapter that explains Bucky’s accident is coming up, so don’t think I won’t explain what happened to him, ‘cause I will! But I love suspense, so…  
> 2) Killian was the reason why Clint and Nat lived on the streets, until Bucky moved in with Steve and gave them his apartment. He fired them from his company when Clint proposed to Natasha; he was jealous of Clint, so he took the cowards route and fired them.  
> 3) Tony took Natasha and Clint up to his office, and gave them an interview. He saw Nat’s skill and Clint’s aim, so now, Natasha is part of Tony’s private security team, and Clint is now the weapons tester and organizer! I had no idea how to include that into the story, so it’s just an end note. :)
> 
> Tbh, I love sleepy Stucky scenes. They’re so fluffy and warm ;)  
> Hope you enjoyed this HUGE chapter, my loves!


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Slow down there sport, it’s not going anywhere.”  
> “It’s going in my mouth Steve, shut up.”  
> “Don’t talk with your mouthful Buck.”  
> “Shud uppff, Steeb.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is an aesthetic I made for this story! It just makes me feel so warm and happy and ahhhhhhhhh….. I can’t, I just love it too much. <3
> 
> ## My Stucky Aesthetic
> 
>  
> 
> We finally find out what happened to Bucky….

It’s about a week until Thanksgiving and Bucky’s walking home from work, hands shoved in his jacket pockets as he stares ahead. Angie let him take off the night early, saying something about how he should enjoy a Friday night away from the coffee shop and just relax. Bless her heart, that wonderful woman. And her wife too. Bucky absolutely adores Peggy. She’s like his grandmother, no joke.

Ever since he walked into the small coffee shoppe called _‘The Fourteas’_ , he’s loved coming work. It’s small, and only two people worked there before he came; just Peggy and Angie. They are an older couple, probably nearing their mid-sixties, but they are the most lively pair of sixty year olds Bucky has ever had the pleasure of meeting.

When he walks into the shoppe on his days to work, he’s always greeted with a huge good morning kiss from Angie and a hug from Peggy. He helps them open up and he works the counter, while Peggy stays in the back and bakes, and Angie serves all the food and coffee and whatnot to the customers, often times sneaking the young kids, and college students who come to study at the diner, extra cookies and rolls. Sometimes Peggy will help Bucky or Angie whenever she finishes her baking for the day a bit earlier than normal.

Whenever Bucky catches the older couple talking to each other or sharing a quick kiss here and there, it makes his heart fill with warmth. From the stories that they have told him, he knows it must have been hard growing up in an era that didn’t accept gays or lesbians. Peggy and Angie, from what they told him, met each other in college when they were assigned to be roommates for four straight years.

“She was so annoying,” Angie had said one night after closing. The three of them were all sitting in a booth, drinking some coffee and tea and chatting while they waited for the oven to beep, to signal when the pastries for the next day would be done baking.

“She stayed up every night until almost one in the morning, then woke up at five-thirty to go to class, which started at eight, mind you.”

Peggy simply rolled her eyes and took a sip of her tea, receiving glares from Angie because _‘Peggy, you are basically drinking liquified leaves’_. “You weren’t any better dear.”

“What’s that supposed to mean Pegs?”

“Oh, nothing darling,” Peggy responded, shooting a wink at Bucky who broke out into a grin watching the two have a harmless ‘couples fight’.

“You remind me of Steve, Mrs. Carter,” Bucky had said, taking a sip of his coffee, receiving glares from Peggy because _‘The two of you, my word! You complain of me drinking ‘liquified leaves’ when you both are drinking liquified beans!’_. That statement had prompted Angie to nearly choke on her coffee, while Bucky actually _did_ choke and had to take a breather for a few minutes.

“How so James?” Peggy asked, lifting the cup to her lips but not taking a sip just yet.

“He wakes up at four forty-five almost every morning to go running with our friend Sam before class.”

Angie snorted. “You young people, running around at the ass-crack of dawn to get abdominal muscles, my word.”

Peggy slapped her arm, “Angie!”

“What?”

“Watch your mouth!”

Angie rolled her eyes, “Alright darling, like you’re any better.”

Peggy scoffed and returned to her tea, but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“What else does he do James?” Angie asked, obviously wanting to know more.

Bucky snorted, setting down the cup in his hand and placed it on the table. “I don’t even know where to start with this guy, he’s crazy. _And_ a pain in the ass too!” He joked.

_“I wonder why he’s a pain in your ass James,”_ Angie muttered, but it was too quiet for Bucky to hear. Peggy heard it though, and she laughed mid-sip of her tea as Bucky continued.

“His alarm wakes me up every morning, and no matter how many pillows and blankets I cover my head in, it always manages to wake me up because it’s _so_ loud. I’ll ask Steve to turn it down, but he claims that he won’t hear it and he’ll end up sleeping in and then he’ll get fat like me. Do I look fat to you?!” Bucky asked through a laugh as he pinched his stomach slightly.

“Of course not—” Peggy began, but Angie cut her off.

“You look like a hippopotamus James,”

Bucky glared at her in mock-hurt, but continued, her laughter filling the background. “Since I’m already awake, I just make the bastard coffee once he leaves so it’s ready for him when he gets back. However,” Bucky folded his arms over the table, looking at the women in front of him, “by the time he’s back, I’ve already gone back to sleep. So this fucker—excuse my language Mrs. Carter—……this fucker—Mrs. Carter put down the spoon— decides that it’s totally fine to barge into the bedroom when he comes back from his run, all sweaty and gross and awake and _full of energy_ , and _lay_ on top of me in an effort to wake me up! Ughhh, he’s gonna be the death of me.”

Peggy smirked, “That sounds absolutely _awful_ James,” She teased. “Dear, how long have you two been a couple?”

Bucky stared at her like she had just slapped him. “What? Mrs. Carter, we’re…we’re not a couple. Steve doesn’t…like me that way, so to speak.” He spun the coffee cup on the table and looked back up to her. He saw Peggy and Angie share a look that he didn’t understand, but decided to ignore it.

“James, are you sure? You speak of him as if he were your partner…” Angie said, breaking the silence. Bucky smiled ruefully at her concerned expression.

“I wish, Mrs. Martinelli. I wish.”

Bucky turns a street corner, humming a song that he can’t even remember the words to, but he thinks it’s Taylor Swift. Or was it Hasley? He can’t quite remember, but he doesn’t really care. He just wants to go home and collapse on the couch and have Steve bug him about how he needs to shower because he’s covered in pastry four and because he smells like a damn coffee pot.

Bucky smiles at the thought as he continues walking. He crosses a street and continues walking, until he hears footsteps following him. He looks over his shoulder and fear washes over his features.

It’s Alexander.

“Hey Barnes.”

Bucky doesn't respond. He just turns his head and walks a little faster.

“I said something Barnes, answer me ya fuckin’ fairy.”

Bucky stays silent.

“Barnes!”

Nothing.

Bucky is so unprepared when Alexander pushes him up against a brick wall. The streets are empty of cars and people, due to the fact that it’s almost eight p.m. and majority of the people who travel this side of town are home by now.

Alexander grabs Bucky by his shirt collar and shoves him into an alleyway nearby. He takes Bucky to the very end and throws him to the ground. Bucky stands up instantly, attempting to block some of Alexander’s punches and kicks, but he only manages to block three punches before he’s on the ground again.

The fight’s over as quickly as it started. Bucky is on the ground, his lip is split and he can taste the blood from a cut in his mouth. Alexander leans down and brushes some of the hair out of Bucky’s face. Grabbing his chin, Alexander pulls Bucky’s head up just a bit.

‘Where’s your boyfriend fairy?”

“F—fuck you,” Bucky drawls out.

“Hmm,” Alexander says, letting go of his chin and looking into Bucky’s grey eyes. “Nah. I won’t do it. Not now. Not tomorrow. But eventually, I will, and mark my words Barnes,” He threatens. “ _I will fuckin’ rape the gay right outta ya_. And no one will be there to stop me, not even your dumbass boyfriend.”

Bucky pulls himself up on his elbow, leaning against it. “Don’t talk about him like that.”

Alexander scoffs, “What are you gonna do about it fairy?”

Bucky smirks, causing a fresh line of blood to seep slowly out of his split lip. “Make you sorry,”

“Highly unlikely Barnes.” Alexander gets up and starts walking out of the alleyway.

“I better not see you in class after the holiday break,” Alexander calls over his shoulder then completely leaves the alleyway, leaving Bucky alone on the ground at the end. Bucky lowers his head and arm and lies down completely on the ground. He closes his eyes, Steve being the last thing on his mind when he passes out.

Meanwhile at the apartment, Steve’s making dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs to be exact, Bucky’s favorite. He knows that Bucky has had a hard week of class this week, full of tests and lots of homework, so he wanted to do something special for him.

When eight o’clock rolls around Steve thinks nothing of it at first. He thinks that Bucky is probably just closing up at the shoppe, and should be here in about fifteen minutes. Then eight forty-five comes around and Steve begins to worry. He shouldn’t be so clingy, but Bucky should be back by now. Steve leaves the food in the pots on the stove and crosses the kitchen to Bucky’s Macbook on the counter.

He opens it and unlocks it( _C’mon Buck, really? BuckBear1234 is not a secure password at all, we’ve talked about this_ ). He scrolls over to the ‘Find my Macbook’ app and clicks on it. It takes a second to load, and Steve realizes that he's being super creepy. However…he can’t shake the feeling that something might be wrong. The page finally loads and he clicks on Bucky’s phone number at the bottom of the screen.

It takes another few seconds for the page to determine Bucky’s exact location, but when it does, Steve’s not comforted by it. It shows that Bucky’s phone is about ten minutes from the coffee shoppe that he works at, the little red blip showing up at the end of an alleyway that’s probably five minutes from the apartment. Maybe Bucky dropped his phone, but…why would it be at the end of an alley? Steve watches the red blip for a few more seconds before he gets up and grabs Bucky’s car keys and heads out of the apartment.

Bucky is woken up by a small beeping noise. He’s unaware of his surroundings, and he’s freezing cold.

_Cold_.

_Unaware_.

_Oh my god, where am I?!_

_Accident._

_Family._

_Oh my god, no. No no no!_

_Ma! Dad!_

_Rebecca!_

_Cold._

_Oh my god it’s so cold._

Bucky begins to panic as he reaches down into his pant pocket to silence the beeping. It’s emanating from his iPhone. He blinks at the screen with his teeth chattering, and he drops his phone back into his pocket, then tries with limited effort to curl in on himself in an effort to get warm. It hasn’t started snowing yet; the forecast that he checked this morning before he left for class said it should start on Sunday. Thank fuck that it’s not snowing now.

The beeping stops for a few seconds, then it starts again when a car pulls up in front of the alleyway entrance and turns off. He hears a car door open and the sound of rushing footsteps get closer to him.

“Oh my god Bucky…” The beeping stops when Steve pockets his phone.

“S…S…Steve?”

“Oh—oh my god Buck,” Steve kneels down and helps Bucky sit up. Steve’s hands feel so warm against Bucky’s skin, and he tries to get closer to Steve and claim some of the warmth. Steve seems to get the message and shrugs himself out of his jacket, wrapping it around Bucky as he pulls him to his feet.

Bucky’s legs are so cold that he has a hard time taking just one step. He cranes his head upward and looks into Steve’s worried and teary eyes.

“Rebecca, p…pl—please. ‘M so c...cold.”

“It’s okay Buck, I’m here,” Without a second thought, Bucky feels Steve pick him up and hold him close to his chest, but he doesn’t see the flash of confusion that crosses Steve’s eyes. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s shoulders, his cold fingers brushing his neck, causing Steve to shiver.

“‘M sorry,” Bucky goes to remove his hands, but Steve just leans his head against them, keeping them there, a silent confirmation that it’s okay to leave them where they are.

Steve gets Bucky into the passenger side of the car and closes the door once Bucky is properly situated. Bucky pulls Steve’s jacket tighter around himself as he lets out a shaky breath. He looks over to the driver’s side panel and sees that the temperature outside is _thirty-nine degrees_. Holy shit.

Bucky looks over to Steve as he opens his car door and gets inside, immediately blasting the heat and turning on the seat warmers on Bucky’s side when he starts the car. They don’t talk on the ride home, but Steve does hold Bucky’s hand. Bucky just tells himself that it’s because Steve is just trying to warm him up.

They get to the apartment in record time. Steve carries him all the way to the front door of their apartment, then elects to carry Bucky inside as well and lays him on the couch. Bucky watches as Steve rushes into his own room and pulls off all the sheets and the duvet from the bed. He comes back with an armful of blankets, and begins to cover and wrap Bucky in the blankets. Once Bucky is fully covered, he hears Steve make some coffee and grab the med-kit from underneath the sink.

Steve comes back to the couch and hands Bucky the coffee cup, and the latter grabs it with shaky fingers and takes a tentative sip. Bucky watches Steve as he opens the med-kit and begins to take some supplies out: antibiotic, band-aids, etc etc, and lays them on the coffee table in front of them.

Steve then reaches over and takes the coffee cup out of Bucky’s hand, much to Bucky’s dismay. He makes a protestant noise as Steve puts the coffee cup on the table next to the med-kit, and Steve lets out a breathless chuckle.

“Even when you get beat up, you’re still a five year old,”

“Shut up, punk,”

Steve laughs as he begins to clean and sanitize the cuts on Bucky’s right wrist, “Whatever, you love me.’’

_Well, you’re not wrong Steve_. “Uh huh, yeah yeah. I just stick around for the free coffee,” Bucky retaliates as he reaches over with his left arm and grabs the coffee cup. He sees his scars on his arm and he tries not to vomit.

Steve glances up through his eye lashes and snorts, then continues his work on Bucky’s wrist. “I knew it. You only stick around for the coffee.”

Bucky grins then winces immediately afterwards. He just reopened his cut on his lip, and blood is beginning to ooze out of the wound. He puts the cup back on the table and reaches for a napkin that just so happens to be on the table, and tentatively places it on his lip, wincing again when it makes contact.

Steve shakes his head at the sight as he finishes cleaning Bucky’s wrist, and sets it down on the blankets beside him. Bucky lifts up his other arm and lets Steve clean it up, appreciating how Steve has never asked about his scars or stolen glances at them, even though he knows that the blonde is probably full of questions. Once he’s done, it looks as if nothing had even happened to Bucky at all.

“Whoa, how did you do that?” Bucky says as he tilts his head down to examine his wrists. All the cuts and scrapes are cleaned and he has a band-aid on one of the biggest cuts. But other than that, he looks perfectly fine.

Steve puts his fingers under Bucky’s chin and lifts his head up. Bucky tries not to take it the wrong way, but his thoughts don’t exactly agree with him. “I was beat up a lot as a kid.” Steve replies as he starts to clean up the cuts on Bucky’s face, and Bucky hums slightly at the softness of Steve’s touches. “My ma used to clean me up, ‘cause she was a nurse an’ all. But after she died, back when I was about fifteen, I had to get used to cleanin’ myself up.”

“Jesus Steve, how often were you beaten up?”

“More times than I can remember,” Steve responds as he cleans the cut on Bucky’s right cheek. “It stopped when I had my growth spurt though. No one wanted to beat up a 6’1’’ kid who was on the football team.” Steve chuckles then sits back, and Bucky tries not to frown at the loss of Steve’s closeness.

Bucky watches as Steve packs up all the items and places them back in the med-kit on the coffee table. Then, he looks at Steve with confusion as the blonde leans back on the opposite side of the couch and folds his arms over his chest, looking at Bucky with an intense, unwavering stare.

“Umm…”

Steve cuts him off, “Who did this to you?”

Bucky freezes, then looks down.

“Bucky, did you see who did this to you?”

Bucky can only nod.

“Who did it then?”

“It’s not that big a deal…” Bucky mutters, still not looking Steve in the eye. If he tells Steve who did it, then Steve’ll want to know _why_. And Bucky can’t tell him _why_ because then Steve will get all weirded out by it and make Bucky leave. And Bucky doesn’t want to leave; he enjoys spending time with Steve and waking up almost every morning to Steve’s stupid jokes when the blonde barges into his room at an ungodly hour (six a.m.) and tells Bucky to ‘wake up!’ at the top of his lungs then proceeds to lay on him until he gets annoyed and tackles Steve to the ground.

“It is to me Buck.” Steve’s clearly not budging on the subject.

“Don’t worry about it Steve, it’s fine.”

“Dammit Buck! You don’t get it. I worry about you; God! I don't want to see anything bad happen to you Bucky. I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t worried about you. I care about your well-being Bucky. You’re my friend, probably my best friend to be honest—” _Ouch_ , “—and friends look out for each other. Bucky,” Steve suddenly grabs his hands and Bucky finally looks up to see Steve’s eyes, red and teary, looking at him, “who did this to you?”

Bucky looks back down at the blankets in his lap, but doesn’t take his hands out of Steve’s grasp.

“Alexander…”

“Pierce?”

“…yeah…”

He looks back up when Steve doesn’t respond. Steve’s jaw is set, just like it always is whenever the blonde gets mad and tries to fix something. Bucky knows that look all too well.

“Steve, don’t worry—”

Steve cuts him off again and asks firmly, “Why’d he do it?”

Bucky swallows nervously, “Well, umm…”

“Do you know why he did it?”

“Kinda…’’

“Buck—”

“He’s,” Bucky says slowly, causing Steve to shut his mouth and hear what Bucky has to say. The room feels a thousand degrees warmer than it did just a second ago, but Bucky pushes through. “He, well……doesn’t agree, exactly…. with my……umm…uhh……sexuality?”

Steve stares at him with what could be question marks instead of his big blue eyes. Bucky eases up and just rolls his eyes.

“I’m gay Steve, and he doesn’t like the fact that I’m gay…so, yeah. Happy?”

Steve is still staring at him, but this time it’s shock that covers his eyes.

“If that makes you uncomfortable, just lemme know, and I can—” But, again, Steve cuts him off, this time by laughing suddenly, tipping his head back and exposing his throat. At any other time, Bucky would be fighting a very strong impulse to bite at Steve’s neck, but right now, Bucky’s just confused.

“Did you really think,” Laughing. “that you being gay,” More laughing. “would make me uncomfortable?”

Bucky’s not to sure how to respond. “Well, kinda?”

“Oh my god no. That’s the _last_ thing that could make me uncomfortable, geez.” Steve huffs out another laugh as he stands up and claps Bucky on the shoulder, then walks into the kitchen. Bucky watches in slight confusion as Steve walks into the kitchen and stirs something in a pot. _So Steve’s not mad, or is he…??_

“Wait, so you’re not gonna kick me out?”

“Why the hell would I do that?” Steve calls back over his shoulder.

Bucky shrugs, even though Steve can’t see it, “Well, maybe because over one third of the world’s population dislikes gays and basically anyone who’s not straight?”

Steve chuckles again as he turns to grab two bowls from the top cabinet, and Bucky tries and fails to not look at Steve’s ass in his jeans that, mind you, make his ass look amazing. “Nah, I wouldn’t kick you out over that. Hell, I’d have to kick myself out too, if that were the case.”

“Huh?” Bucky says dumbly. Surely Steve didn’t just imply that—

“I’m gay too Buck, always have been and always will be.”

“Huh…” Bucky replies dumbly, again. “I never woulda guessed Stevie, holy shit.”

He hears Steve chuckle lightly as he turns and grabs the TV remote, turning it on and selecting the ‘Big Bang Theory’. “Yeah, that’s what they all say. Even my ma, but she didn’t really care. _‘Love is love, doesn’t matter what’s in-between their legs’_ , she told me once. I live off that motto Buck.”

Bucky hums in agreement as Steve turns off the light of the apartment, the only source of it coming from the screen, and sits on the couch, handing Bucky a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs before settling into the couch and eating from his own bowl.

Bucky gasps in excitement. “Oh my god, I haven’t had this in forever, holy shit, thanks Stevie.” 

Bucky digs in right away, causing a laugh to break out of Steve. “Slow down there sport, it’s not going anywhere.”

“It’s going in my mouth Steve, shut up.” Bucky retorts over a mouthful of noodles.

“Don’t talk with your mouthful Buck.”

“Shud uppff, Steeb.”

They continue eating in silence, watching TV and laughing here and there at the commotion on the screen. They finish eating by the end of the first episode, and they set their plates on the coffee table and continue watching in comfortable silence. Until Steve breaks the comfort.

“Hey Buck?” Steve asks hesitantly.

“Yeah?” Bucky answers dismissively, eyes still trained on the screen.

“Who’s Rebecca?”

Bucky’s blood runs cold. “W—what?”

Steve seems to realize that that question wasn’t a good one to ask. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s—”

“Where did you hear that name?” Bucky is looking at Steve now, his whole body turned and facing the blonde on the other side.

“You…you called me Rebecca…back in the alley,”

Bucky sighs.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up. Forget I said anything.” 

But Bucky can’t, it’s too late.

“It’s fine, it’s about time I told you anyways.’’ The brunet says slowly.

“You really don't have to Buck, it’s fine—”

“No, I wanna tell you. Is…is that okay?”

Steve sends him a small smile, “If you feel comfortable in telling me, you can.”

Bucky smiles sadly. “Okay,’’

**_Backtrack To Thanksgiving Break, 2006_ **

“Mom, how long til’ we get there?” Bucky’s twin sister (and only sister, might I add), Rebecca asks for the thousandth time, glancing over her phone to look at her mom and dad, Winifred and George Barnes, through the rearview mirror.

Winifred turns in her seat to look at Rebecca, who is sitting directly behind her. “Soon honey. Probably another hour or so before we’re at Nana’s house.”

Bucky’s oblivious to the conversation. He’s leaning against the window of his family’s old Subaru, staring at the snowy forest that they are currently passing while he listens to music. He feels a tap on his knee and looks over to his mom as he pulls off his headphones and rests them on the back of his neck.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna play a game?”

“Ma—” He starts, but gets cut off by Rebecca.

“Yes, please.” She says in an exasperated tone as she pockets her phone, pulling off her own headphones so they rest on the back of her neck, just like Bucky’s. “The screen was hurting my eyes.”

“Wonderful,” Their mother says and turns around, clearly pleased with Rebecca’s answer.

“Glad I have a say in family matters,” Bucky mutters sarcastically, earning a chuckle from his father, who is currently driving and humming some nondescript tune. Bucky’ll have ask him later, because he actually really likes the tune.

“Let’s play ‘I Spy’,” Rebecca offers, taking off her mittens and blasting the heaters to the highest temperature.

“Oh god, really Becks?” Bucky asks incredulously. For someone who’s three whole minutes older than him, his sister sure does act like a five year old, and he says as much.

Rebecca just rolls her eyes and retorts, “Whatever, you’re just jealous that I know how to have fun sometimes and not have a stick up my ass while I do it.” She sticks out her tongue and he retaliates by flipping her off with a chuckle escaping from his lips.

“Knock it off children,” George warns with a small glare from the rear view mirror, even though there is no malice in his voice when he does so.

“I’ll start,” Rebecca says casually, casting Bucky a look that makes him laugh and flip her off again, this time out of the sight of his father’s viewing capabilities.

“Go ahead princess,” Bucky turns in his seat and watches Rebecca expectantly. She just rolls her eyes again in response and begins.

“I spy with my little eye, something….” She looks around then smirks. “Something white.”

“Gee, I don’t know Becca,” George pipes up with a laugh. “Is it the snow?” Bucky looks over to his mother and sees her recording their conversation with the camcorder. Winifred turns the lens to face Bucky, and he just glares at it, causing an eye roll to emit from his mother.

“Yep, good job dad, that was a hard one,” Rebecca retaliates, and George and Winifred both laugh. “Your turn Bear.”

“Okay then.” Bucky rubs his hands together and looks around the interior of the car. “Alrighty. I spy with my little eye, something…” He looks to the temperature dial at the front of the car, near his mother’s knee. “blue.”

His mother chuckles, something she’s been doing for majority of the car trip. “That’s easy honey, it’s the—”

“Deer!”

Bucky turns to look at his sister, about to chastise her for being so stupid, but he doesn’t get the chance.

A huge buck with antlers probably four feet tall at the least, crosses the road, right in front of the Barnes’ Subaru.

It hits the car grill and goes underneath the car. It’s size is so massive, that it causes the car to lift off the pavement and flip. The car goes rolling, flipping multiple times, and it only stops when it hits the guard rail.

Bucky groans and opens his eyes, seeing nothing but the clouded sky and fresh snowflakes beginning to fall. He flew out of the car once it had stopped rolling, the car door falling off and somehow, it pulled him with it. He hears a gruff beside him and lifts his head in the direction of the noise. It’s the deer. Bucky watches with squinted eyes as the large buck gets up, shakes itself slightly, then trots off in its initial intended direction.

Bucky’s head rolls to the other side, trying to look for his family, but he can’t see them. The last thing he sees before he passes out is a patch of snow beginning to turn red, right beside the front right door of the car.

**_Present Time_ **

“I went into a coma, and stayed there for about two, maybe three days. I don’t really remember to be honest. When I woke up, I saw my grandma and grandpa sitting in those chairs beside the hospital beds.

“I didn’t know what happened to my parents or my sister, until the day after I woke up from the coma, when my grandparents told me. Apparently, it took over ten minutes for the ambulance and paramedics to find the crash sight, but by then it was too late. My dad, he… he didn’t stand a chance. The impact of the deer gave him a really bad concussion, then when we crashed into the guard rail, he broke his spinal cord. He didn’t have a good heart or set of lungs to begin with—smoking for over ten years did that to him—but the lung collapse was what really got him in the end.

“Uhh…my…my mom… she… well, she survived the crash. But she died while being airlifted to the hospital. Too much trauma to her head, and her spine was broken too. They tried to revive her, but they were…they were too late…

“Now, Rebecca. She, well, she had a good chance. She survived the crash, survived getting airlifted to the hospital, and the hospital put her into an induced coma once we got there. She went into surgery one hour after being admitted, but… ah… she… died, while they were operating on her. The doctors said they tried everything that they could, but…” Bucky sighs. “She had way to much internal bleeding, and the doctors couldn’t control it. They tried CPR, but she just ended up losing more blood because of it. The doctors couldn’t do much after that, much to the protests of my grandparents, who treated me and Becks’ like their own children. In the end, the doctors stopped surgery and…. yeah.

“Then you’ve got me,” He laughs bitterly. “All I had was a minor head wound and a dislocated shoulder. Well, more than that actually.” He pulls his arm out from under the blankets and places it on top for the world to see. “Some bits and pieces of metal from the car door tore up some of the skin on my arm. But, since we crashed in the snow, the snow helped keep my arm ‘alive’, so to speak. I went into surgery and got out within an hour, with nothing but bandages wrapped around it.”

Bucky looks down from staring at the wall, then continues.

“I shouldn’t be alive. After all that; the deer, then the crash, then the surgery, I shouldn’t be alive at all. While the rest of my family died, here I am, happy and well and going to college and being fuckin’ alive. They shoulda survived, not me. Rebecca especially. She had big plans. _Big_ , big plans. She was gonna go to NYU with me, but she was gonna Major in Business and Science. A double major Steve… a double major… She had this big hope, that one day, she was gonna cure cancer. Our grandmother on my father’s side of the family died when Becks’ and I were about seven years old, and that inspired her to become a scientist and a doctor.

“Already, at the age of sixteen, she was receiving calls and scholarships from colleges and cancer research labs all around the world, trying to get her to go to them. She was the highest of her class, and she was gonna do it. She had her heart set on finding a way to cure it, no matter what stood in her way. But, she didn’t get to do that. And still, ten years later, I still feel guilty about surviving when she could have done so much better for this world than I ever could…”

Bucky closes his eyes and a single tear falls. It’s always been a single tear, because no matter how hard he tries, he can’t let it all out. He shakes his head and wipes it away with the heel of his left hand. He looks down at his arm, and all he sees is a reminder of how he should have died but didn’t.

“Everyday, I think to myself: _‘What if I never agreed to playing the game with her’?_ Maybe then, my dad would have seen the deer and stopped on time, but he was too distracted by the game. Maybe if we never played, then they would all be here, and it would all be okay. And…” Bucky sighs and closes his mouth, not trusting himself to speak anymore.

He feels a hand on his back, rubbing slow circles, and he smiles sadly. Of course Steve knows how to calm him down and ground him. He takes a chance and glances up at Steve. The blonde’s eyes are filled with tears threatening to spill, but they don’t. His lips are parted like he’s trying to conjure up a proper response to everything he just heard, but he can’t. Bucky understands.

“You don’t hafta say anything, it’s okay.” Steve closes his mouth, but then opens it again.

“I’m so so sorry Bucky. I… that…” Steve sighs and closes his mouth. “I’m not sure what to say after all that, I’m sorry.”

Bucky just shakes his head and smiles softly, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

Steve smiles sadly at Bucky. He opens his arms up for Bucky to come to him, and Bucky doesn’t need to be told twice. The blonde pulls Bucky into his lap, and Bucky feels warm and safe and… he feels like he’s at _home_. Steve arranges them so that he’s lying down with Bucky on top of his chest. Bucky pulls the blankets over the both of them and lies down, cuddling into Steve’s hold, placing his head under Steve’s chin and wrapping his arms around Steve’s torso. Steve wraps his hands and arms around Bucky’s torso as well, and they both settle there peacefully, Sheldon’s voice from the TV screen playing softly in the background as they lie there.

Bucky feels Steve lift his hand just a bit to adjust the blankets so they are both better covered, then feels as the blonde puts his hand back where it was, this time however, he rucks up Bucky’s shirt about an inch, and his thumb begins to rub soft, featherlight circles on his lower back and hip.

Bucky falls asleep within ten minutes, and if Steve kisses his head and tells him _‘I’m glad you survived Buck…I don’t know what I would do without you…’_ , well, he’ll never know if it was _real_ or simply just a _dream_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor baby Bucky… :’(


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh right! Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Johnny Storm, Steve’s boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read, just tuck away your pitch forks and machetes, because ya’ll might hate me for this lol.  
> Mmm ‘kay, enjoy lovelies!

“Buck, ‘m home!” 

“In the kitchen Stevie!”

Steve kicks the door shut with his foot as soon as he walks across the threshold. Shoving the keys in his pocket, he picks up the grocery bags he set down when he walked in and walks through the short hallway and turns right, heading into the kitchen area and setting the bags down on the counter.

It has definitely been easier living together ever since they came out to each other, and since Bucky has told him about his family’s accident, and that was over a month ago. Whenever Bucky has nightmares, he told the brunet to just come into his bedroom and not worry about anything at all. Almost once—or even four times a week—Steve will wake up in the middle of the night with Bucky’s back pressed against his own, Bucky snoring lightly with hitched breaths, indicating he was crying, or at least trying to, because it seems like Bucky can never shed more than one _single_ tear. Steve will just turn over and pull Bucky to his chest, in an effort to comfort his sleeping friend (even though Steve wishes they were more than that…), and it works, for Bucky cuddles impossibly closer to Steve in his sleep.

Now, it’s Christmas Eve, and he and Bucky are currently getting ready for Sam’s party that starts at nine p.m., and it’s already almost eight. Steve had to make a quick run to the store to grab some extra ingredients because the pair realized that they were five cups of flour short, as well as six eggs and a whole gallon of milk too. Okay, so maybe Steve bought a little more than necessary.

“What is this for?” Bucky asks with a laugh as he pulls out a large bag of chocolate chips when Steve sits on the barstool on the other side of the counter.

“Why not?”

“But _why_ Steve? We don’t need it,” Bucky shakes his head, some hair falling out of his bun and framing his face in the process, and goes back stirring the dough in the bowl. Steve resists every urge to reach over and tuck the hair gingerly behind Bucky’s ear. 

“These are sugar cookies Steve, not chocolate chip cookies.”

“But you can make them cho—”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“But why?”

“No Steve, or you make them yourself.”

Steve huffs, but there’s no malice behind it, just amusement and sarcasm. “ _Fine_ , whatever. Make your stupid sugar cookies then.” Steve gets up and walks toward his bedroom to dump his jacket on his bed, and he hears Bucky laugh at him from behind.

“ _Thank you_ , kind sir. How lovely and polite of you it is to let lil’ ol’ me decide what’s on the menu for tonight’s dessert at the party.” Steve laughs as he walks back into the main area and into the kitchen. He goes to grab a tray to help Bucky begin to lay out the cookies, but Bucky just smacks his hands away with a towel.

“Nuh uh! Not in my kitchen!”

“Hu—”

“Your hands are filthy, go wash up.” When he doesn’t move, Bucky glares at him. “Now. Get out of my kitchen and take a shower, or I’m kicking you out.”

“Need I remind you that this is my apartment Buck.”

Bucky turns and leans against the counter, dignifingly jutting out his chin. “Out of my kitchen Rogers, now.” Bucky raises the towel in his hand and begins to advance towards Steve when he doesn’t move. Steve cackles out a laugh and jumps out of the way.

“Okay, okay, I’m going. I’m going!” He hears Bucky laugh as he skips out of the room to avoid the towel that gets thrown at his head, and he realizes that he never gets tired of hearing that sweet, amazing sound.

Steve steps into his bathroom and closes the door, locking it for good measure. He starts the water and strips out of his clothes, stepping inside the hot steam to wash off all the snow still in his hair and the ‘grocery store smell’ that Bucky says is apparently a real thing and had said that it grossed him out. Steve applies some shampoo to his hair, hoping that the scent of it gets rid of the ‘grocery store smell’.

When Steve rinses out the shampoo, the suds run down his body. While he goes to wash it all off, his hand bumps against his limp member, and he shudders at the contact. He realizes that he hasn’t actually touched himself since Bucky came out to him about his sexuality, over a month ago. Holy shit, over a month…. that’s a long time.

Tentatively, he reaches down and grasps it in his soapsud covered hands, his grip soft at first, then tightening after a few strokes. He goes slow at first, going up and down at a slow and easy pace. He bites his lip to restrain a moan that threatens to come out when his cock begins to harden. He picks up the pace a bit; it’s rushed and hurried, because Steve just wants a release.

Images and fantasies of Bucky flash in his mind. He replaces his hand with the thought of it being Bucky’s mouth instead, and with his eyes looking back up at his own, half-lidded and completely fucked out, his hair covering part of his face. Steve looses it, and he doesn’t think he’s ever come that quickly before. He’s made himself come in less than five minutes, and holy crud, new record. However, the thoughts of Bucky sucking him off is what really set him over the edge. God, he needs to get this under control, dammit.

He leans his head against the cool tile wall and sighs as he turns off the water, still breathing heavily. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep, silent breaths to help him come down from his high.

He gets out and hastily gets dressed and dries his hair with his towel in an effort to be quick. He’s wearing some dark jeans and a dark grey Henley, his hair slightly ruffled up to add to the ‘effect’. He walks out of his bedroom and goes to the kitchen, only to find empty. He spots a paper on the counter and goes to it, picking it up and reading it over.

_Stevie,_

_Since ur ass takes FOREVER 2 shower, I’m taking 1 right now._

_If the timer on the oven beeps before I’m out, plz take the cookies out 4 me._

_Thx <3_

_-U should know who this is Steve_

_—I’ve been here for over four months_

_(it’s Bucky :P) just incase you didn’t know_

Steve can’t but laugh at the little drawing at the end of the note, and blush at Bucky’s makeshift heart. He tucks the paper in his back pocket right as the timer goes off on the oven.

“Perfect timing,” He says to himself as he grabs oven mitts and takes out the cookies, leaning over to turn off the timer and the heat.

Geez, when Bucky said he could bake, he really meant it. These cookies smell really good. To Steve, for some odd reason that he can’t yet decipher, he notices that these cookies smell like _home_. He feels warm and happy when he smells them.

Bucky’s laughter pulls him from his thoughts, “Steve get your face off my damn cookies, dang it.”

“Bucky, they smell really good—” He, AGAIN DAMMIT, stops short. There, standing by his bedroom door, is Bucky. His hair is dry and put into a casual ponytail. He’s wearing a dark grey button down with some dark jeans and, of course, his converse. In short, he looks good. And he tells Bucky as such, before he even realizes what he’s doing.

He watches as Bucky blushes, then spins around with his arms stretched out, showing off his outfit. When he stops and laughs, he looks at Steve. “Don’t look to bad yourself Rogers.” He watches Bucky’s eyes rake over his large frame. Bucky nods at nothing in particular, then walks past Steve, hip checking him on the way.

“Go grab the presents and I’ll pack the cookies. We need to get going, else we’re gonna be late.”

They end up leaving their apartment five minutes to nine o’clock, and they have to run down the hallway in order to catch the elevator, Bucky laughing out loud when Steve nearly trips over nothing but air. Inside though, Steve’s heart is tripping over and over to the sound of Bucky’s laugh.

___________________________________________________________

“Hey! Glad you guys could make it!” Sam exclaims when he opens the door to let Bucky and Steve into the apartment. It smells like pine needles and eggnog and candy and Christmas, and Bucky loves it. He looks over Sam’s shoulder to see some of Sam’s good friends and people from his class, and he smiles, then looks back to Steve.

“C’mon Stevie.” Bucky grabs Steve’s wrist in one hand while he holds the container of cookies in the other, and pulls Steve with him into the apartment, pushing politely past Sam and heading straight to the kitchen. He completely misses the way Sam smirks knowingly at them as he closes the front door and follows them. He releases Steve's wrist when they get to the kitchen island and chuckles. 

“Sorry ‘bout that Stevie. You never woulda gotten through that crowd alone.” He turns his back to Steve as he sets the cookies on the counter, carefully taking off the aluminum foil and placing the now-open container next to the rest of the desserts on the counter. He crushes the foil into a tight ball and walks to throw it into the trash can, shutting the lid and turning proudly to Steve.

When he turns, he looks up at Steve to see the blonde gazing at him with a fond smile.

“You alright there bud?” Bucky asks when Steve doesn’t look away.

Steve seems to snap out of his stupor and grins at Bucky, setting the presents on the counter beside the others.

“Yeah, I’m good. Bucky, I—.”

“Hey Steve!” A voice unknown to Bucky calls. Bucky glances at Steve, and sees him beginning to look distressed and slightly annoyed. 

A tall attractive blonde comes up behind Steve, throwing his right arm around Steve’s shoulder as his left hand clutches a red Solo Cup filled with beer. This guy is clearly drunk, and Bucky thinks Steve can tell as well, judging by the look on his face.

“H—hey Johnny…” Steve says slowly, and Bucky looks away from the pair, slightly uncomfortable and beginning to feel that he shouldn’t be part of this conversation. He grabs an unopened beer bottle that’s sitting on the counter and pops off the lid, taking a long single swig, trying to distract himself from the intimate scene in front of him.

“Hey babe! How are you!?” The man, Johnny apparently, says, and he leans over to Steve’s face and kisses his cheek. Bucky looks over at them just in time to see Johnny’s lips connect to Steve’s cheek, and it feels like his entire world is crashing down on him.

Bucky sees Steve’s face flush a deep crimson as he meets Bucky’s eyes. They lock eyes, and Bucky immediately sees Steve flash a look of guilt across his face.

“Buck—” He hears Steve begin, but Johnny cuts him off.

“Who are you?”

Bucky sets his jaw and plasters a fake smile on his face, trying to stop himself from assuming to much. “I’m James. And you are?”

“Oh right! Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Johnny Storm, Steve’s boyfriend.” Johnny grins and moves his arm from around Steve’s shoulders down to Steve’s waist. Bucky’s eyes follow the movement, and he looks up at Steve, hoping the splinters of his heart aren’t making an appearance.

“Oh?” He asks Johnny, but the question is more directed to Steve. Why did Steve hide this from him? Well, duh, it would’ve hurt like a bitch, because it _does_ hurt, but… Steve still could have told him. Right now, in this moment, Bucky feels something drop in his chest, and he hears it make a loud noise as it hits the pit of his soul. He wonders if anyone else heard the noise, but he looks around the room to see everyone going about themselves at the party. So no one else heard his heart breaking, only him, he realizes.

“No, Buck that’s not—” He hears Steve try again, but Bucky just looks over at the couple standing in front of him in Sam’s kitchen, and he interrupts Steve, not wanting to stick around to hear of more ways his heart can die.

“I’m happy for you guys,” Bucky says, pulling up what he hopes looks like a genuine smile as he continues. “Natasha just got here, so I’m gonna go say hi.” Bucky gets up from his position of leaning against the counter top and proceeds to walk past the couple.

“Buck wait—” Bucky convinces himself that he’s not, in any way, hearing any desperation in Steve’s voice, he’s _not_. He’s _definitely_ _imagining_ Steve’s arm reach out for his wrist and the glare that Steve is directing towards Johnny. He’s just _imagining_ it….

_That’s all it ever is_ , Bucky guesses, _just something conjured up from my imagination_.

“Catch you later, Steve. Nice meeting you Johnny,” Bucky says, walking past the couple and through Sam’s large apartment, trying in every way to distance himself from the couple.

He distractedly walks toward the front door, beer forgotten in his hand, and he goes to leave. He doesn’t want to be here anymore. He’s not feeling up to celebrating anything, not after what he just learned back in the kitchen. Sighing, he places his half-finished bottle on a table near the front door, and walks out the door.

He’s only taken about ten steps or so from the door, walking down the hallway towards the stairwell door, when he hears a door click open behind him; Christmas music from the party leaking out for a few seconds before the door closes again, the party and him now separated by the door once more.

“Go away Steve,” Bucky groans dismissively, not even turning around to see who even walked out the door in the first place.

He hears a soft chuckle behind him and stops. He turns around slowly, eyes slightly red, and he spots Natasha leaning against the door frame, arms crossed and smirking at him.

“Well,” She pushes herself off the door and steps toward him, the little fuzz ball on her Santa hat swaying side to side ever so casually with every step she takes. “I’m not exactly as buff as Steve, so, sorry to disappoint James.” God, he’ll never get her to call him Bucky.

He rubs a hand down his face with a shallow huff. “Don’t wanna see him right now anyways, so you’re doing me a favor.”

He watches as confusion suddenly crosses the redhead’s features. “Wait, what? Why? James, honey, what hap—”

“Don’t wanna talk about it, Nat.” He turns around and walks to the stairwell door, pushing it open and striding towards the first set of steps, taking a seat and propping his elbows on his knees as Natasha takes a seat beside him. Bucky folds his hands folded together and interlocks his fingers with a defeated sigh.

“ _I wonder if Steve would ever hold my hand this way; our fingers knit and stitched up so perfect against each other’s; soft and warm and reassuring. Steve's got the softest hands too; sometimes they’re covered in charcoal or paint or food because sometimes he forgets that he has a damn fork when he eats, but… I wouldn’t care, because it would be Steve’s hand that I would be holding, and Steve’s hands are perfect, just like him._

_“Do you think Steve would h…hold me? Like Johnny did? His arm wrapped around Steve’s waist? D’ya think he’d hold me like that? Or maybe tighter? Like… with… both of his arms? Maybe his chest ‘ta my… my back or somethin’? Or… or maybe he’d just need one arm, ‘m not sure. Yeah, sure, Steve’s given me hugs an’ stuff like that—hell, we slept in the same bed— but… would… would he ever… hug me, or touch me… like Johnny did?_

_“Nat? D’ya think… d’ya think that Steve would look at me like Clint looks at you? Or like S… Sam looks at Maria? Or… remember Mrs. Carter and Mrs. Martinelli, from that coffee shop that I work at? They… they look at each other… I don’t know how to describe it, Nat. All of you share the same look, too. It’s like… when you see this person right in front of you… and when you see them looking back at you, don’t ya, I don’t know… Do you look at them and just ask yourself, “how did I get so lucky”? It’s like… you take one look at them and… you can’t imagine your life without them in it. Sure, you could, but… it wouldn’t be a good life without ‘em with ya, ya know? D’ya… d’ya think Steve would ever look at me like that?_

_“Do you think he… likes my laugh? Or… or my music? Or… I don’t know anymore, to be honest, Nat. I was so sure… so positive, even… that maybe, just maybe he felt somethin’ for me, ya know? But… I guess not. I’m probably readin’ too far in-between the lines or somethin’, I don’t know._

_“Granted, yeah, Steve didn’t look 100 percent happy about Johnny bumpin’ into our conversation, but… he’s still Steve’s boyfriend, right? And in the end, isn’t that who he’s going to want to go back to?_

_“Steve deserves someone better than me, or J…Johnny, or any other guy on this planet, ‘cause no one… I’m not good enough for him, Nat. He… oh god, I can’t believe that I’m actually implying that he could ever be with me, but… he deserves someone who isn’t as messed up in the head as I am; someone who doesn’t have to be self-conscious about lifting up their goddamned shirt sleeve because of the mess of scars littering my bicep; someone who doesn’t have nightmares at least once a week and screams and screams… and screams… until no one can hear me anymore because I’ve run out of air to continue screaming. He deserves someone who can actually cry more than one goddamned tear at a time, not someone like me._

_“He deserves better than me.”_

Natasha nods her head in understanding, but not in agreement; a) because Bucky has no idea that he just said all of that aloud, and b) because she can’t trust herself to speak…

**_James… Steve… he would hold your hand in any way and in every way possible. He’d hold your hand as tight or as loose as you wanted. He’d hold your hand everyday if he could; I know, because he told me. He wants to keep you safe and warm and reassured, no matter how soft or how filthy his hands are; he’d hold your hand anytime you asked, because he would care that he was keeping you safe and loved, because it would be your hand that he wants to hold, and your hands—those soft, yet calloused hands all the same—… to him, your hands are perfect, just like you._ **

**_Do I think he would hold you like Johnny did? No. I KNOW he would hold you like Johnny did; except, he wouldn’t be holding Johnny, he’d be holding you. He’d wrap you in his arms without a second thought playing in his mind. He’d hold you better than he’s held anyone, or will ever hold anyone, ever again. He’d come up from behind, from the front, from the sides… any direction… that man will come in from any direction to give you a hug; to hold you; to touch you. James, he wouldn’t hug you or touch you like Johnny did him. He would do BETTER; DOUBLE; TRIPLE. Anything really, because that’s how much he cares about you._ **

**_James? Honestly, Steve wouldn’t look at you like Clint looks at me, or how Sam and Maria look at each other, or how your coworkers at the coffee shoppe look at each other, because we all look at each other in a different way. He’d be looking at you like he does everyday; like you hung the moon and carefully placed each and every star into the sky; like you drag the sun across the sky each morning and still have time to make it to class and be a music major and spend time with us and recover… James, he looks at you… oh gosh… that man is so gone for you, I cannot begin to explain. You are the light of his darkness; the muse of his portrait; the reason he wakes up with a smile each morning because he knows that you’re going to be grouchy and complain about the time and how early it is, then in some twist, go and make his coffee before you go back to bed to complain some more about the time, before he has to tackle you to the floor to wake you up._ **

**_Take that all away… and what’s he got left? Nothing. He’d be empty without you by his side; you’re the yin to his yang; the brown to his blond; the mess to his clean. Take that all away, and… what’s there to smile about anymore?_ **

**_He loves your laugh, James. Every time I see you two together, and you’ve got a smile on your face… oh James, the look of pride and joy on his face is the cutest thing. It’s like he makes it his personal mission to make you happy, and when your laugh is the result, it makes it all worth while for him. James, you are sure, you are positive, you are right. He feels something for you. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see the way he looks at you when you play your guitar at the coffee shoppe for Mrs. Carter and Mrs. Martinelli? When you sit in that one corner booth by the counter, all by yourself, doing nothing but just play your guitar? Are you telling me that you have never seen the loving smile he sends your way when he walks into the shoppe to bring you lunch on your weekend shifts? The way he’ll lean against the counter and watch you until you’d notice; then you’d call him over, only for him to look at you the exact same way, but this time, he’s sitting right in front of you?_ **

**_Steve deserves the best, you’re right. He deserves someone who laughs at his stupid and corny jokes that no one ever seems to get other than you. He deserves someone who makes him smile when he’s down and can’t find it in him to bring himself back up. He deserves someone who understands him and won’t push him to say things he isn’t comfortable sharing._ **

**_Oh James, honey… you’re not messed up in the head. Yes, I know you get those awful and painful reminders almost every night when you wake up struggling to breathe… I know you aren’t fond of the way your arm looks, or the way you can’t shed more than a tear… but, Steve? He doesn’t mind a damned bit. He’d hold you through every one of your episodes; he’d remind you everyday if he had to, that you’re beautiful. You are a beautiful masterpiece in that boy’s eyes, James. He doesn’t pick out every single one of your flaws, or try to paint over the rips and tears of your canvas with manipulation and lies. No. That’s not Steve. He looks at you and knows of your flaws, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re perfect to him. He is accepting of who you are and who you’ve become to be, and he stays true to you and your friendship, always staying and being there for you._ **

**_He sees you, and can’t imagine his life without you in it…_ **

Natasha, of course, doesn’t say any of this out loud. Bucky is not in the mood to hear all of it, and he’d just brush it off anyways. So instead, she asks, “What did he do to you?”

“Nothin’, don’t worry about it.”

“James, please,” Bucky feels her warm hands clasp around his folded ones and sighs. Bucky really considers in telling her that she would be great at criminal interrogation, because he just spills everything.

“I just don’t get it Nat.” He sighs sadly after he’s finished speaking. “Why didn’t he tell me?” Bucky shakes his head and sighs, dropping his head and closing his eyes.

“He’s not dating Johnny Storm.” Bucky’s head shoots up, his eyes wide as he looks at Natasha.

“Yea…yeah he is… Johnny called Steve his boyfriend. That’s gotta mean something Nat.”

“James, they dated back during the first year of college. I remember having class with Storm and he would tell me all the time how he had this really awesome boyfriend named Steve. Until one day, he walked into class with a sad look on his face. He said that he and Steve broke up, because Steve had caught Johnny cheating.”

“Johnny cheated on him?!” Bucky wants nothing more than to get up and go back into the apartment and give Johnny a piece of his mind, because no one, _no one_ , does that shit to Steve.

“Down James.” Natasha says, as if reading Bucky’s thoughts. “Beating him up now won’t change anything… Besides, Steve’s better off without him anyways. That doesn’t stop Johnny from trying to get back together with him, but, knowing Steve, he won’t go back to that.”

“But, Johnny kissed him…”

Natasha smiles a bit and stands up, reaching her hand out for Bucky to take. “Do you trust me?”

Bucky looks up at her, eyes now clear of any evidence of his sadness. “Of course.”

She extends her hand further. “Then let’s go back.”

Bucky looks at Natasha’s hand then towards the stairwell door several times, back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, before he finally gives up and takes her hand.

___________________________________________________________

When Steve sees Bucky walk back into the apartment, relief floods over him, and he rushes toward them.

“Oh my god, there you are! I was so worried, you just left and I didn’t know where you went, and….” Steve trails off but he doesn’t care. Bucky’s back and he’s safe and he’s okay, and that’s all that matters.

“I’ll let you two get to it then,” Natasha says, popping out from behind Bucky and heading in Clint’s direction, where he is currently playing beer pong against a couple other party members, and he’s winning no doubt.

Steve looks back to Bucky to see the brunet looking anywhere but him.

“Is everything okay?” Steve asks hesitantly.

Bucky’s eyes finally snap back to his, and he sees it. Sadness. As much as Bucky covers up his emotions from others for fear of being exposed, Steve’s knows him too well. Steve can see the distress is Bucky’s eyes, and he longs to just hug Bucky and tell him that everything will be okay. He wants to put an end to whatever is causing Bucky this sadness and pain. It kills him to see his friend (even though he wishes they could be so much more) this way. He will do anything in his power to take away the pain.

“Yeah… sorry. I needed a breather. Wasn’t feeling too well, that’s all.”

Worry suddenly takes over Steve. “Oh shit. Do you wanna go? I can tell Sam that we want to call it a night, I’m sure—” But Bucky shakes his head, a small smile pulling at his lips. It’s a start.

“No no, it’s okay. I’m fine now.” Bucky trails off, looking around the room for a few seconds before he looks back at Steve and greys meet blues. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

Steve finally gets it now. Bucky must’ve thought that he and Johnny were dating, but Steve ended that years ago. Bucky must feel replaced, Steve concludes. They basically do everything together now. Whether it’s watching TV or walking to and fro from class, or hanging out with friends at a local coffee shop, they are always together. Since they’ve met, Steve notices suddenly, they have been attached at the hip. Steve even has to admit that he sleeps better when Bucky crawls into his bed in the middle of the night.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Steve takes Bucky’s hands in his, giving them a small squeeze. “Don’t worry about that, it was a long time ago, and he… well, let’s just say I wasn’t his only boyfriend.”

Steve watches as Bucky looks down at their hands, and sees the brunet pull his smile a little bigger. It’s getting there; the pain a little less when their eyes meet again. Steve grins, his heart pounding in his chest due to the fact that they are still holding hands. Bucky’s hands are soft, but there are signs of some callouses in his palm. His hands feel cold in his warm ones, so Steve lets go of one hand, the other still holding onto the brunet, and Steve grabs them each a beer bottle in his open hand. Still holding Bucky’s hand, Steve leads him near the Christmas tree, where there is a small portable heater placed in the corner.

“Thanks Stevie,” Bucky gives Steve a fond smile, and there it is. 

Steve grins and chuckles, handing Bucky a beer. “Feeling a bit better now?” _God, please say yes. I just want to make you happy. That’s all I want_.

Bucky smiles over a sip of beer and nods. “Yeah, I am.”

___________________________________________________________

He and Steve are still talking in the corner as the hour progresses, their bottles empty and completely forgotten on the floor by their feet. _I don’t need beer to get drunk though_ , Bucky thinks. He could get drunk on Steve’s smile, the way his eyes crinkle in the corners and how his nose sometimes scrunches up. It’s adorable.

He could get drunk on Steve’s hearty laugh. When Steve laughs, it’s hard not to follow in suit. Whenever Steve laughs really hard though, it usually ends up being funnier than what made him laugh in the first place. Bucky loves it.

Steve is kind, loving, forgiving, hilarious, caring, courageous, self-less, trusting, lovable, honest, worth more than all the riches in the world, and Bucky loves him.

Holy shit.

_Wait_.

He loves him.

Bucky loves Steve.

Bucky smiles wide internally at this new discovery. He always had an attraction to the other man, but now, realizing that he _loves_ Steve, he wants to slap himself for not noticing it sooner.

Bucky Barnes loves Steve Rogers, and the world be damned if they don’t accept it.

Sam’s voice pulls Bucky out of his thoughts.

“Mistletoe!” 

He and Steve turn to look around and try to figure out who’s under the mistletoe, when Sam starts laughing a few feet away from them.

“It’s you two, you idiots. Look up.” Bucky and Steve do so, and for the first time since arriving at the party, they notice the small green bundle hanging from the ceiling, tied together with a small red ribbon. How ironic.

Bucky looks back at Steve, only to see the latter looking at him. Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky can see Sam grin and pull Maria closer to him, hugging her small frame.

“C’mon guys.” Sam grins cheekily, and his announcement has gathered a small crowd of only five people around Bucky and Steve, the rest of the crowd too drunk to care or too wrapped up in their own conversations to notice.

Bucky can’t look away from Steve. The blonde is smiling, a blush taking over his face at a rapid rate. “Sam…” Steve whines, finally breaking eye contact with Bucky and looking towards Sam. Bucky misses Steve’s eyes already, dammit.

“You guys either kiss, or…” Sam thinks for a second before he snaps his fingers. “…or you go twenty-one shots against Natasha. Her pick of vodka.”

Steve turns back to Bucky and they are silent for only a few seconds, before Bucky makes up his mind. He might never have a chance to do this again so—

“Fuck it,” He utters out.

Bucky reaches forward and curls his right hand around the back of Steve’s neck. He steps forward and pulls the blonde down slightly towards him, grabbing a fistful of Steve’s grey Henley, and closes the gap.

Steve’s lips are slightly chapped, but Bucky doesn’t care. He’s just finally happy that he got to do this once, because he’s never going to get the chance to do this again, because Steve doesn’t like him.

The kiss lasts only lasts about three seconds, max. Bucky pulls away, uncurling his hand from Steve’s neck and opens his eyes, (which he didn’t even realize closing in the first place), only to have his heart drop down to his feet.

The small crowd of five people, plus Sam and Maria, all cheer. That cheer covers up the last of Bucky’s heart shattering. Steve is looking back at him with wide, surprised eyes. His cheeks are tinged slightly red from his earlier embarrassment, but now, it seems like he is paling instead. He looks at Bucky like he can’t believe he actually went through with it.

Here it comes, the rejection. Bucky can already hear it: _Look Bucky, we’re good friends and all, but I don’t see you like that…_

Bucky doesn’t want to stick around to hear it. He backs away, taking small steps backward towards the front door of the apartment.

“Buck…” Steve starts, beginning to slowly walk towards him.

Buck doesn’t stay to hear it. He turns around and squeezes through another crowd of people near the door. He opens the door and leaves the apartment, leaving behind the man that he just realized that he loved this very night. Leaving behind the man whom he loved, but whom did not love him back. 

Bucky steps into the elevator at the end of the hall, pressing the button and waiting for the doors to close automatically as he leans back against the elevator wall. His eyes are puffy and… there it is. That one, _single_ tear. He goes to wipe it away and he looks up.

He sees Steve emerge from Sam’s apartment, looking around before he finally spots Bucky. Steve calls for him to wait, but all Bucky does is press the ‘close door’ button. He can’t bear to look at Steve right now, because he thinks that all he’ll see is a polite rejection where Steve asks if they can still be friends.

The doors close when Steve is about ten feet from the elevator, and he hears him call his name again though the doors, but all Bucky can do is wipe another single tear that runs down his cheek.

The doors open on his floor, and he gets out, walking to the end of the hall to his apartment— his and _Steve’s_ apartment. Shit. That means that Steve would be able to find him here. Oh well, he can just keep himself locked in his room and wait until Steve’s asleep to leave. But… what if he doesn’t come back? What if he was so disgusted by Bucky and his past and his scars and his issues and his actions tonight, that he doesn’t come back?

Bucky sighs and unlocks the door, not even bothering to close it as he steps through the threshold. He walks through hi— _their_ , small hallway and turns right, heading into the no-man’s land between the kitchen and the living room, stopping right in the middle.

He folds his arms over his chest and sighs, staring at the floor.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…” He mutters to himself. “god… I’m _so stupid_ , thinking he might actually like me back… yeah right…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so evil muhahahaha


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not telling anyone what’s happening this chapter. Read it to find out :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EchoCharlieFoxtrot, you might enjoy this chappie ;)

“Fuck it,” He hears Bucky utter, and suddenly, Steve feels Bucky’s right hand grab the back of his neck while Bucky’s left hand grabs a handful of his grey Henley. Bucky steps close and closes the gap between their lips.

Steve is in _heaven_. Bucky is kissing him, and he absolutely loves it, loves _him_. Bucky’s lips are warm and plush, a huge contrast to his previous cold hands that he had when he walked back in Sam’s apartment about an hour ago. They’re a bit chapped, but that’s no matter; Bucky is _fucking kissing him_.

Steve is in love with this dork of a man; this adorable, loving person that he has the _honor_ of knowing. He loves this man with all his heart and soul and ounce of his being, and he wants to tell him. So badly…

The kiss ends in less than three seconds, and Steve can’t believe it’s already over. _No, w-wait, come back, please…_. He is so surprised that Bucky had actually kissed him, that he couldn’t even think to kiss back. He was memorizing the way Bucky’s lips felt against his, and the way his hand was currently holding the back of his neck, soft yet firm and grounding. He couldn’t close his eyes either, because he wanted to know what Bucky looked like when he was kissing. He wants to memorize every part of Bucky; keep it tucked away in a little box in the center of his heart and lock it with a key, so it’s just for him. No one else. It’s not for anyone else to see; _it’s not for anyone else but Steve._

Bucky pulls away and opens his eyes, and Steve notices that his pupils are bigger than they were when they had been talking earlier. Then he sees something he never wants to see in Bucky’s eyes, something he had been trying to get rid of the whole night, as it suddenly glazes over his irises: _sadness_.

Steve pales. Shit shit shit, mother fucking _shit_. He made Bucky feel this way. What did he do?—wait… _oh no_. He didn’t kiss back, he realizes. No no no no no. Bucky is probably thinking that Steve doesn’t like him back. _No no no no no_.

He watches Bucky take a few small steps back, eyes grief stricken and filling with even more sadness and horror and darting frantically across the expanse of Steve’s face. _Wait, Buck, no, come back…_

“Buck…” He tries, taking a tentative step towards him. The brunet just looks into his eyes, and it kills Steve. Steve can tell by the look in Bucky’s eyes that the latter is probably ripping himself apart on the inside. _No no no, oh Bucky no…_

Bucky turns and makes himself scarce from the apartment within seconds. Steve lifts a hand to his lips, tracing over them as he looks towards the front door. Steve looks to Sam; however, Sam just frowns in response.

“Why are you still here?”

Steve runs to the door without any preamble, pulling it open and racing out into the hallway. He looks around and finally spots Bucky’s form in the elevator, leaning back against the wall. Even from far away, Steve sees it. That one, _single_ tear. Only one, as usual, as it slides down Bucky’s face. _No, oh god baby (where did that come from?) no no no, I’m so sorry, no no no…_

The sound of the door of Sam’s apartment closing pulls Bucky’s head up and they make eye contact. Bucky’s eyes are red rimmed, and… _oh no_. Steve sees another tear from Bucky’s other eye slip down his cheek, but Bucky doesn’t seem to notice it. _This is bad, no no no. Bucky rarely sheds more than one tear…no baby I am so sorry…_

“Bucky!” Steve calls, running towards the elevator. “Bucky wait!”

He watches as Bucky looks sadly towards the button panel and press a button, the doors beginning to close. _No no no, don’t go…please don’t leave…. Bucky wait, please…_

“Bucky! Buck wait!” The brunet looks up, and Steve reaches the elevator just as the doors close. He bangs his fist against the door after a few seconds, then lifts his head, a determined look on his face. He looks to his left and grins: _the stairwell_. He rushes over and pushes the door open, taking the steps two at a time. He reaches his floor in record time, and pulls the door open, stepping into the main hallway.

He enters the hallway and sees Bucky at the end; unlocking the door to their apartment and walking in, but he doesn’t close it. _Shit, baby, I am so so sorry….I’m going to fix this, no matter what it takes…_

Steve all but sprints to the end of the hall, his feet padding against the floor in silence due to the thick carpeting. He stops when he gets to his door and waits. He’s waiting for a-a sign or…or _something_ or—

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…” Steve suddenly hears Bucky say. Steve steps into the apartment stealthily and quiet, trying to hear what Bucky is telling himself.

“…god, I’m _so stupid_ , thinking he might actually like me back…yeah right…”

That does it.

Steve strides forward, one hand on the door, and it swings closed as he walks through the hallway and turns the corner. He sees Bucky there in the no-mans land between the kitchen and the living room, hunched over with his back to Steve, arms crossed loosely.

_Oh baby, I am so sorry…_

The apartment door slams shut when Steve turns the corner and walks towards Bucky, not slowing down. Bucky turns at the noise of the door slamming, his eyes red rimmed and wide with shock.

Steve doesn’t even give Bucky a chance. As Bucky turns around, Steve is right there. He grabs the sides of Bucky’s face with both hands and gets as close to the other man as possible and shuts his eyes before he closes the gap.

He crushes their lips together, the kiss soft and languid, but demanding to prove a point. Bucky hesitates for a few seconds before Steve feels him kissing back, soft and….unsure, and it’s _killing_ Steve to see Bucky this way. Tearing his heart apart into a million pieces to see Bucky in pain.

Steve removes his hands from Bucky’s face, letting them trail down Bucky’s shoulders slowly, as he begins to push Bucky backwards. He grasps Bucky’s hips as they hit Bucky’s closed bedroom door, and Bucky throws his arms around Steve’s neck, trying to pull his face closer, now more bold and desperate, as if this might be the only time the brunet could ever do this.

Steve tilts his head and slowly traces his tongue along the seam of Bucky’s closed lips, and the brunet opens his mouth with a small heated sigh, surging forward to meet Steve with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Steve licks his way into Bucky’s mouth, making the brunet moan loudly in return. _Fuck Bucky…god you sound so… god…_

Bucky pulls away in embarrassment, cheeks flushing, biting his lip nervously. Steve removes one of his hands from Bucky’s hips and brings it to Bucky’s face. Using his thumb, Steve tugs gently on Bucky’s bottom lip, releasing it from Bucky’s top teeth, and he drags the pad of his thumb across the expanse of Bucky’s lip.

“Lemme hear you,” Steve breathes, eyes closed as he nudges his nose against Bucky’s, then tilting back down to recapture those sinful lips that he’s been dreaming of kissing for over four months. Bucky moans again, soft and desperate and wanted and pained, and Steve responds by rocking his hips against Bucky’s, hard and demanding.

Holy crap. He’s so hard, and by the feel of it, so is Bucky. Bucky gasps at the sudden contact, and Steve uses that opportunity to migrate from Bucky’s lips and kiss along Bucky’s jaw and down his neck. Bucky tilts his head to the side, granting Steve better access, and Steve licks and kisses Bucky’s neck in a heated frenzy. He ghosts his lips over Bucky’s collarbone, kissing it softly several times before he bites down.

He gasps again, and that only gives Steve more encouragement to continue. While he licks and kisses and bites at Bucky’s skin, slowly working his way back up to Bucky’s mouth, Bucky runs one of his hands through Steve’s hair.

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky whimpers brokenly, and it’s the first time he’s heard him talk since Steve barged into the apartment. And he’s whimpering for Christ’s sakes, fucking _whimpering_ , and Steve loves the way it sounds. He wants to hear it over and over again. Wants it to be the only thing he ever hears for the _rest of his goddamned life_.

Steve finally comes back to Bucky’s mouth and kisses him. This time though, it’s not rushed. It’s slow and intimate and nice. Steve feels Bucky slowly tease his tongue past Steve’s lips, and Steve gladly allows it entrance. Steve lets out a soft moan of his own; the feeling of Bucky’s tongue in his mouth, one hand in his hair and the other around his shoulders, is making his head spin and _holy crap how did he get so lucky_?

“What do you want Buck…” Steve breathes out tauntingly before he goes back to kissing Bucky heatedly. Bucky lets out a sorrowful whimper as he kisses Steve harder, nipping lightly at his bottom lip, before pulling away to rest his head against the door.

“The one thing I can’t have…” Bucky answers faintly, and Steve almost misses it.

Steve opens his eyes and leans his head back a bit to fully see Bucky’s face. Bucky’s eyes are now open and looking into Steve’s. Steve doesn’t miss the way Bucky’s eyes look even _more_ red than they were before. He feels Bucky’s thumb slowly rub circles on the back of his neck as Bucky smiles sadly, and another _single_ tear rolls down his cheek.

Steve clicks his tongue in sympathy at the sight, and brings his right hand up, brushing away the stray tear with his thumb. Bucky closes his eyes and leans into the touch, and Steve responds by caressing Bucky’s cheek softly.

“What do you want Bucky…” Steve tries again, and finally Bucky answers his question.

“……you…” Bucky says softly. “But…” 

_But what??_  

“I can’t have you…” 

“Why not?” Steve asks, trying to figure out what the _fuck_ Bucky’s implying. Can’t have him? Why fucking not??

“Because I don’t deserve you, and I don’t want you doing this out of pity Steve…” Steve watches as Bucky finally opens his eyes, more tears threatening to spill, but they stay trapped.

“This isn’t out of _pity_ Buck,” Steve replies, slightly angry that Bucky would ever think he didn’t deserve Steve. Heck, Steve thinks that Bucky deserves better than what he could ever offer. It’s infuriating that Bucky thinks he’s not good enough, because he _is_. He _is_ enough. Bucky’s worth _more_ than all the stars and the planets and the galaxies in space, and Steve would _die_ trying to prove it to him, if that’s what it took to get Bucky to believe him.

Bucky’s eyes flash with disbelief, “Steve—”

“No Buck.” He grabs Bucky’s face in both hands and ghosts his lips over Bucky’s, not missing the way he hears Bucky’s breath hitch. Keeping hard eye contact, Steve continues, “Stop doing that to yourself. You _are_ enough, _more_ than enough. It’s _me_ who doesn’t deserve _you_ , you gotta believe that.”

“ _Steve_ —” Bucky tries again, but Steve cuts him off.

“I am doing this because _I_ want to. Not for pity, or—or by force or whatever. I want _this…us._ I want _you_.” Steve’s hoping he’s said all the right things, but he’s not sure, because Bucky is just looking at him, lips slightly parted and he’s breathing shallowly.

Bucky waits a few seconds before responding, “You…you……want me?”

Steve’s lips pull up in a small smile as he leans down, “Yes,” And Steve closes the distance. He can feel Bucky begin to smile against his lips as they kiss, so he pulls away with his own smile, searching Bucky’s eyes.

“Bucky…?”

“You— you want me. Steve, you… you want me.” Bucky is looking at him with a grin that grows bigger and bigger every time Bucky repeats the sentence, his eyes looking less dejected and more elated by the minute. “Steve… you want… wait…really?”

Steve feels his own smile grow, “Yes, I want you, for as long as you’ll have me. I’m not going anywhere Buck.”

He sees Bucky smile a bit bigger, then suddenly go shy. “Can I…uhh ask you something?”

“Anything,”

“Can I…umm….can I kiss you?”

Steve huffs out a small laugh before he nods. Bucky smiles at him and tugs him down into a kiss. It’s sweet and intimate and filled with nothing but smiles and breathy huffs of suppressed laughter.

Steve trails his hands down Bucky’s shoulders, passing his chest and torso, then stops at Bucky’s thighs. Leaning down a bit, he grasps Bucky’s thighs and lifts him up, the brunet hopping into his arms in response. Bucky continues kissing Steve with a smile as he hooks his ankles together behind Steve’s back and wraps both arms around Steve’s shoulders. They stay there for a while: Steve holding Bucky while the latter kisses him. Steve kisses back with all he’s got, and continues to as he walks toward his own bedroom.

The door is closed, so Bucky unhooks one arm from Steve’s neck and reaches absentmindedly behind him, trying to find the door handle while Steve continues to attack his mouth with deadly kisses. He finally gets it unlocked and pushes it open, then he puts his arm back around Steve’s neck as the blonde walks into the room, closing the door behind them with a kick of his foot.

Steve walks across the room and sets Bucky down on the bed. He crawls over him, caging him in against the mattress as he begins to attack Bucky’s neck, positioning himself between Bucky’s legs when the brunet lowers them. Bucky moans as he cards his fingers through Steve’s hair with one hand and pulls Steve closer with the other.

“ _Steve_ ,”

Steve groans as he continues to work Bucky’s skin between his teeth. God, Bucky sounds absolutely _fucked_ , and it’s _him_ making Bucky feel this way. His hands roam Bucky’s body when he tilts his head upward to meet Bucky in a hungry kiss. Bucky whimpers against his lips, and Steve retaliates by opening his mouth to grant Bucky entrance, meeting his tongue halfway.

God, Bucky tastes so good, so goddamned sweet. Its a mix of sugar from the cookies, a small hint of alcohol, and also something that’s just distinctly _Bucky_. _Oh…uh nghh, mmm fuck… Mmm, fuck_ ; Steve wishes that Bucky was his diet. With every beat of their tongues, Steve is getting lost in the feel of Bucky’s body beneath his and the small throaty whimpers that the man caged in below him is making. He knows nothing but Bucky. He doesn't want to know anything but Bucky, ever again.

Steve slowly pushes his hand underneath the hem of Bucky’s shirt, lifting it up slightly as his hands travel the expanse of Bucky’s abs and torso. Bucky breaks the kiss to try and pull his shirt off, but it doesn’t exactly work since he’s lying down and Steve is on top of him. Steve is taken by surprise when Bucky suddenly rolls them over, straddling his hips as he pulls his shirt off, not even bothering to unbutton it, and tosses it carelessly away. Bucky bends down to capture Steve’s lips in another kiss as he begins to rolls his hips, slow and teasing, and Steve can’t stand it.

Steve flips Bucky back onto his back, never breaking the kiss as he kicks off his shoes and helps Bucky out of his. In less than a few minutes, they are both completely undressed, rolling on the bed like a pair of horny teenagers, rutting against each other in an effort to find friction.

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky mutters again when Steve pins him on his back, short and out of breath, and he responds by rocking his hips even harder against Bucky’s. Steve leaves Bucky’s face and neck and kisses a trail south; starting at his pecs then circling Bucky’s six-pack with his tongue. He ends at the ‘V’ of Bucky’s pelvis, and he looks up, silently asking for permission to continue. When Bucky gives him a breathless frantic nod, he continues, kissing down Bucky’s shaft slowly and teasingly, ending at the tip. He licks a stripe up and down Bucky’s cock, swirling his tongue around the tip again, tasting Bucky’s pre-cum on his tongue. He’s sweet on Steve’s tongue, and that just makes Steve want more. Hallowing out his cheeks, he takes Bucky into his mouth, sucking him in all the way, despite Bucky’s larger-than-normal size.

He hears Bucky let out a choked gasp above him, his hands instantly gripping Steve’s hair in an effort to gain control, but so far it’s not working. Steve continues to suck; up and down and up and down; bobbing his head and swallowing him down like he’s _fucking starving_. Bucky snaps his hips upward, trying to get his cock to go deeper down Steve’s throat, but Steve just stops his previous motion of rubbing the inside of Bucky’s thighs and moves to grip Bucky’s hips, pushing them down against the mattress. He can feel Bucky’s dick growing harder and harder in his mouth, and it’s driving him insane.

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky speaks up again, nothing but a breathy whisper as his hands tighten in Steve’s hair. “Steve, ‘m not gonna last if you keep d…doin’ th…that, ungh f…fuck,”

He groans in response, taking Bucky deeper and gripping Bucky’s hips slightly harder to keep him from lifting off the mattress. He pulls off just a fraction of an inch to swirl his tongue around the tip before he swallows him back down again. He moans, the noise sending shallow vibrations up Bucky’s cock, making the brunet writhe against the sheets.

“Steve, ‘m gonna… oh nghh… mmm fuck Steve, ‘m gonna co—”

“It’s okay, I’ve got you…” Steve pulls off long enough to speak, kissing down Bucky’s member with hot open-mouthed kisses. He mouths noisily at Bucky’s balls, letting out a small _‘mmm mmm unghh’_ as he nuzzles them with his lips, and Bucky arches his back, hands flying to the side and grabbing handfuls of the sheets.

“Stevie…‘m gonna…”

“Let go, I’ve got you…”

“ _Steve…_ ”

“ _Come for me, baby…_ ”

Steve makes it back to the tip of Bucky’s cock just as he comes; arching his back as he goes over the edge and releases with a cry, Steve’s name falling from his lips. Steve greedily swallows every trace, not missing anything. He suckles on Bucky’s cock, taking in every last drop and swallowing. Steve licks his lips and begins to kiss a lazy path back up to Bucky and his mouth. Steve presses his lips softly against Bucky’s, opening his mouth and languidly licking his way inside. Bucky copies the movement, tilting his head to the side so they can perfectly slide their lips together. He feels Bucky’s left hand cup his face, rubbing soft circles on his cheek with his thumb, while the other hand slowly travels down his chest, stopping at Steve’s neglected cock.

Steve shudders, pressing his entire body against Bucky’s when he feels Bucky’s hand start to slowly stroke his cock. He buries his face into the crook of Bucky’s neck as he slowly starts to rock his hips against Bucky’s hand, relishing in the way it feels as it glides up and down.

“Tell me you want this,” Steve mutters. “Tell me I’m not crazy, and that you really want this.”

“I wan’ it…p-please Steve,” Bucky answers, squeezing Steve’s cock harder as he quickens his pace. Steve leaves the shelter of Bucky’s neck and kisses him harshly, pushing Bucky’s head down into the mattress as he fucks Bucky’s mouth with his tongue, rolling his hips relentlessly in a heated frenzy.

“Do you have anything?” Bucky asks when Steve pulls away to suck marks on his neck. Steve nods and regretfully leaves Bucky on the bed to grab lube and a condom from his bedside table. He opens the drawer and grabs the items quickly, tossing them onto the bed beside Bucky before he crawls over the other man again and kisses him deeply. He feels Bucky's arms wrap around his neck and pull him closer as they hungrily kiss each other. Steve doesn’t want to stop. He never wants to stop. He could kiss Bucky all day, every day, if Bucky would let him. 

He’d kiss Bucky everywhere at every possible time, because kissing Bucky just became his new favorite thing. Bucky moves one of his hands to grab the small packet containing the condom, ripping it open. Steve lifts his body slightly to make room for Bucky’s hands as they travel in-between their bodies and down to his cock. Steve tilts his head to the side and continues kissing Bucky; Bucky kisses him back with much appreciated fervor, their lips and open mouths moving in sync as Bucky slides the condom onto Steve’s rock-hard cock.

Steve feels Bucky gasp as he slowly moves his now-lube-covered fingers around Bucky’s hole, teasingly running the pad of his index finger in small circles before he slowly pushes past the tight ring of muscle. Steve goes slow at first; carefully opening Bucky, much to Bucky’s distress.

“Steve…” Bucky groans against Steve’s lips, trying without much success to push down on Steve’s finger. Steve grabs Bucky’s hip with his other hand and pushes it down against the mattress, causing the brunet to whine in agony. “S…Steve please…”

“Think you can take another one, baby?” Steve asks while he slowly drags his middle finger towards Bucky’s hole. Bucky nods frantically, so Steve slowly pushes in a second finger as his other hand rubs small, caressing circles on Bucky’s hip. Bucky arches his back at the sudden stretch, whining again as he begs Steve to go deeper. Steve slides in a third finger when Bucky least expects it, and pushes all three in as far as he can, stretching Bucky’s hole. He experimentally curls his fingers against Bucky’s wall, causing the brunet to clench around him in response. Steve pushes in just a little deeper, searching for that sweet spot. He finally finds it and brushes his fingers against it, making Bucky whimper above him and let out a slew of moans and whines.

“Nghh f-fuck Steve, please…‘m ready…please…” Bucky whines over and over again, so Steve finally takes pity on him. He eases his fingers out of Bucky’s warm, lube-covered hole and grabs the small packet of lube beside him, squeezing a bit more on his hand then rubs his hand over his cock, coating it thoroughly in the substance. He stops kissing Bucky in order to prop himself above him. Steve aligns his dick to Bucky’s willing hole, then looks back up. He stares into Bucky’s fucked out eyes, holding eye contact for a few seconds before lowering his head and capturing his lips; slowly beginning to push his cock against Bucky’s hole. As Steve pushes his cock in slowly and carefully, inch by inch, he and Bucky begin to gasp and pant into each other’s mouths; their lips ghosting over each other’s but not kissing.

Steve finally bottoms out, panting shallowly against Bucky’s ear as he leans his head forward; pressing his entire body against Bucky’s, trapping him against the mattress. Bucky’s arms snake under his, clasping his hands together around Steve in an effort to bring him closer. Steve begins to kiss Bucky tenderly underneath his ear as he begins to slowly roll his hips, pushing his cock deeper into Bucky. Bucky moans loudly and digs his nails into Steve’s back, causing a full body shudder to emit from him. He rocks his hips with a little more force, pushing in deeper, deeper, _deeper_. Steve finally finds Bucky’s prostate, and _boy_ does Bucky let him know too.

“Oh f-fuck…god Steve right…right there…nnnnghh mmmm fuck…” Bucky mutters over and over into Steve’s ear. Steve groans in retaliation, biting and sucking on Bucky’s neck as he rocks his hips. He hears Bucky whimpering into his ear, breathlessly saying his name over and over again.

_Oh my f-fucking god_ , Bucky feels so good. Bucky is so tight around Steve; his walls completely encasing his dick in warmth and slide. Steve doesn’t want to rush this. He wants to make this as good as possible for Bucky, because Bucky deserves the world. He keeps his movements slow; rocking his hips slightly and tenderly, never pulling out, not once. Steve never stops his slow pace, and he knows Bucky doesn’t mind a damned bit.

“Steve…ah ah ah-hunnghhh oh f-fuck…nnnn god Steve…” Bucky somehow manages to choke out.

“Buck…mmm fuck…you feel so good baby…s-so g-good, oh fuck…” Steve rocks his hips, nice and slow and full and _deep_. He returns to Bucky’s mouth, kissing him feverishly and swallowing down Bucky’s moans and whimpers.

“F-fuck Bucky, you feel so good…ah ah nghh…mmm fuck babydoll…”

“G-god Steve…ah s-shit…”

Bucky reaches up and grabs Steve’s hair, gripping it softly while the blonde continues to fuck him. Steve sighs heatedly, leaving Bucky’s lips and instead moves his face slightly, slowly rubbing his cheek against Bucky’s. He continues nuzzling his face tenderly against the man below him, before he feels something wet expand over the surface of his cheek. Steve carefully pulls his face away an inch and opens his eyes, looking at Bucky’s face to find out the source of the liquid.

Steve’s eyes roam Bucky’s face; following the thick lines of clear liquid to the source, and he can’t believe what he’s seeing. Bucky’s head is slightly tipped back in pleasure; his lips parted and he’s panting softly, and the whole thing is erotic as _fuck_. If only Steve was paying attention to that though.

No. _No_ , he’s looking somewhere else. His eyes finally stop roaming when he finds out the source of the mysterious liquid: Bucky’s eyes. Bucky’s eyes are softly squeezed shut, but that doesn’t stop the _flood of tears_ from slipping past his eyelids. The _tears_ (not just Bucky’s trademark _single_ tear), are pricking at the corner of his eyes and slowly rolling down Bucky’s cheeks.

Steve brings his hands to Bucky’s face as he stops rolling his hips, cupping Bucky’s face in his hands.

“Oh, oh my god Buck—are you—oh god baby.”

Bucky continues letting out these small, pitiful whimpers from his lips as Steve’s thumbs stroke his cheeks, clearing out the tears to no avail, because new ones just continue to roll.

“Buck, are you— baby no, no no no. Shh shh shhh.” Steve tries to soothe. “Baby, wha…what’s wrong…”

“S…Steve…” Bucky whines quietly, arching his back slightly and tipping his head back. When he comes back to his original position, Steve sees more and more tears spread across his face.

“Shhh shh shh…’m here Buck…’m not going anywhere…”

Bucky whines brokenly beneath him, and Steve suddenly thinks that he is unintentionally causing Bucky pain, and Steve makes to pull out.

“Oh shit, baby am I…am I hurting you?…shit no baby no no…” Steve mumbles quietly to Bucky; the brunet’s eyes still closed and his mouth still agape. Steve begins to try to pull out, thinking that he might be causing Bucky actual physical pain, but that seems to make matters worse. Bucky begins to let out soft and quiet sobs, tears streaming down his face even harder; he looks emotionally hurt and abandoned and _fucking alone,_ so Steve stops his efforts and just leans back down, shock written all over his face.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me Buck…” 

“I…t-thought that y-you hated me Steve…” Bucky lets out brokenly, eyes still closed.

“What? Oh Bucky no…”

“I thought t-that you…h…hated me…’n I t-thought that you were g-gonna…le…lea…leave…”

Steve peppers kisses all across Bucky’s face, kissing away the tears and the pain. He would never, _never on his life_ , leave Bucky. He’s become too close, too deep and enthralled, to ever leave Bucky behind. Not a day goes by when they don’t see each other, and he be damned if he let Bucky even _think_ that Steve would ever leave him.

“No baby, oh no no no… shh shh shh…” Steve lifts his head so he’s an inch above Bucky’s. His thumbs caress Bucky’s cheeks in an effort to brush away the mass collection of tears.

Bucky’s sobs turn into small sniffles after a few minutes; his eyes are still squeezed shut and he’s still clinging desperately to Steve’s shoulders. The latter continues to softly cover the brunet’s face in feather light kisses; trying, just _trying_ , to rid Bucky of the pain and sorrow.

“Baby… oh no. Buck, I would never leave you… shh shh shh.” Steve soothes quietly, continuing to rub away the last of Bucky’s tears. Bucky sniffles quietly a few more times, before he shifts his hips and _shit_. Steve was too preoccupied trying to ease Bucky, that he completely forgot that he was still inside him. Apparently, so did Bucky.

“Ahhh!… ungh mmm,” Bucky manages through a gasp.

Slowly, Steve begins to rock his hips again, He is going to make feel Bucky feel good; better than he ever has before. He’s going to make sure that Bucky is never going to hurt, or get hurt, ever again. Bucky is his now; his to take care of; his to make feel special. And the world be damned if anyone tries to stop him from doing just that.

“I’m sorry baby… I’m so sorry I hurt you…” Steve mumbles as he tucks his face into the crook of Bucky’s neck, moving his hips a bit faster. “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you, Buck… okay? No one.”

“Steve…” Bucky breathes out, nuzzling Steve’s hair as his fingers dig into the blonde’s skin.

“'M gonna take care of you baby…f-fuck nghh god you feel so good Buck…”

“Steve…‘m gonna, mmm fuck…shit S-Steve…”

“Mine…mmm fuck baby…all mine…not gonna let anyone else hurt you again…mine, all mine babydoll…” Steve growls into Bucky’s ear, making him whimper in response as he pounds him into the mattress.

“Steve ‘m gonna—”

“Me too…let go baby…”

“Steve—”

“Come on baby, come on…” Steve tauntingly encourages, rolling his hips against Bucky’s painfully hard cock. “Let go…I’ve got you…a-ah fu-fuck…let go baby…”

After a few more pushes, Bucky clenches his walls around Steve’s member, arching his back as he comes with a loud cry.

“ _Steve!_ ”

“ _Bucky…Buck…mmm mine, all mine baby…mmm fuck!_ ” Steve comes with a loud cry right after Bucky, his entire body spasming as he ejaculates into the condom inside Bucky. He rolls his hips loosely, riding out his climax and helping Bucky ride his out as well; sticking his hand down and slowly stroking Bucky’s cock. It twitches in his hand, tiredly releasing another line of semen in his hand. Steve drowsily kisses Bucky, humming softly when he feels Bucky kiss back. They are both completely wiped out and exhausted; they just had sex based off of being four months dry and horny, of course they’re tired.

They roll onto their sides, and Steve scoops the brunet into his arms, letting the other man lay his head on his sweaty chest. Steve kisses Bucky’s temple, smiling in his brown hair when he feels Bucky splay small kisses to his chest.

“We’re gonna get sticky,” Steve says after a few seconds of rubbing his hands down Bucky’s spine. Bucky nods tiredly against his chest and gets up, walking into Steve’s bathroom to get a warm cloth; Steve totally eyes Bucky’s cute little ass the whole way.

Bucky comes back a few seconds later with a dopey and tired grin on his face, wiping himself and Steve off, before he puts the cloth back in the bathroom and joins Steve in bed.

Steve pulls the covers over them and opens his arms, a silent signal telling Bucky to join him. Bucky smiles at him and shuffles closer, tucking himself into Steve’s side and throwing his arm across Steve’s chest. Steve smiles when he feels Bucky’s fingers slowly draw small patterns on the large expanse of muscle. Eventually, those fingers start to slow down and then stop, meaning Bucky’s fallen asleep.

Steve stares up at the dark ceiling, his hand subconsciously continuing it’s trail up and down Bucky’s back. He closes his eyes with a smile.

“Finally,”

___________________________________________________________

Bucky wakes up slowly the next morning, content and happy, as the sun begins to rise, the shadows of December snowflakes splaying across the bedsheets. It’s early, probably around five o’clock, but he doesn’t care; it’s Christmas morning, he’s in Steve’s bed, and he’s happy. He hears Steve begin to stir awake on the other side of the bed, so he closes his eyes and smiles softly, feigning sleep. He can feel Steve turn and fondle around the bed, his hand patting the mattress gently as he sleepily searches for Bucky. Bucky feels Steve’s warm hand finally find his torso; Steve’s arm curling around him, and he can’t help but giggle as he gets pulled across the expanse of the bed and into Steve’s warm and chiseled chest.

“Mornin’,” Steve mutters out in a husky voice, beginning to lazily kiss the back of Bucky’s neck, his warm breath sending a tingle down Bucky’s spine. “How’d ya sleep?”

Bucky hums and turns in Steve’s arms, throwing his right leg over Steve’s and cuddling into his chest, “Good,” He traces small patterns with his fingers on Steve’s chest absentmindedly, staring at his invisible artwork and completely missing the affectionate look that Steve’s throwing at him as he watches Bucky ‘draw’. “You?”

Steve breathes out a happy sigh with a hum, and Bucky feels the blonde’s hold tighten around him, pulling him impossibly closer. “Good, really good…”

Bucky snorts as he cuddles deeper into Steve, tucking his head into the crook of Steve’s neck. He feels Steve press a soft kiss on his temple, and he sighs happily. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

Steve pulls Bucky’s naked body over his, so he is lying down top of Steve. Bucky folds his hands over Steve’s chest and rests his chin on them, staring into Steve’s ocean blue eyes that he never gets tired of seeing. He wonders what it would be like to wake up to those eyes every morning, for the rest of his life, and he realizes that he wouldn’t mind a damn bit.

“‘Cause I had a certain brunet next to me last night, and I had the pleasure of waking up next to him.” Steve reaches up and tucks a loose strand of Bucky’s hair behind his ear, causing Bucky to blush in return. “‘Cept he sure was a spitfire last night, lemme tell ya.”

Bucky laughs, shocked at how the conversation went from sweet and sappy to Bucky’s sexual performance. “Oh my god Steve,” Bucky covers his face in his hands, muffling his response and rolls off Steve, his hands still covering his face when he hits the mattress on his back.

He can’t see him, but he knows Steve is smirking. Dumbass.

He uncovers his eyes, and yep, Steve’s smirking. Then he’s getting up and lying atop Bucky, propping himself up on his arms as he stares at the man below him. After a few seconds, Bucky begins to squirm under Steve’s gaze, a blush taking over his face as his stares at Steve’s unreadable look.

“Steve—”

Bucky watches him grin and suddenly they’re kissing. He lets out a startled sound against Steve’s mouth, and he feels Steve breathe out through his nose and his lips curl against Bucky’s. Steve pulls away right as Bucky thinks about parting his lips to deepen the kiss, and he doesn’t stop the betrayed whimper that leaves his throat.

Steve lets out a chuckle as he resumes his position of staring down at Bucky, looking at him with a fond smile. Bucky smiles back and lifts his hand, carding it through Steve’s short blond hair. Steve hums at the contact and leans back down, giving Bucky another kiss, before he pulls away, but only an inch from Bucky’s face.

“What was that for?” Bucky’s thumb traces little circles in Steve’s hair, and Steve turns his head just a bit to kiss the inside of Bucky’s wrist, before he turns back.

“What? This?” Steve smirks, then leans in to kiss Bucky a third time. Bucky feels Steve’s tongue glide along the seam of his lips, teasingly slow. He opens his mouth, granting Steve entrance, then does the same to Steve. They stay there for a while, Steve atop Bucky as their tongues fight for dominance. Steve gives Bucky’s bottom lip a small bite before he pulls away, lips glistening and pupils wide.

“Yeah,” Bucky breathes. “That.”

He looks up at the blonde man above him, and _he can’t believe how lucky he is to have him_.

“Why’s that?”

_Did he say that out loud?_

“Yes, you did,” Steve laughs. “And as for the kisses,” He feels Steve give him another peck on the lips. “I’m going to make it up to you for all those times I should have been kissing you… and I didn’t. And add it to all the times I’m going to be kissing you for now and on.”

Bucky hums absentmindedly before he freezes, letting the words sink in. “Wait, what?”

“I said I’m go—”

“No no, I heard what you said but… Wait, you wanted to kiss me _before_ I kissed you last night?”

Steve stares at him like he’s got two heads.

“What?”

“You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“Oh my god, you’re so blind.” Steve surges downward instantly and kisses Bucky again. Holy crap, five kisses in the last five minutes, damn, Bucky’s on a roll. Steve doesn’t even try to be subtle or slow, he just plows his tongue right into Bucky’s mouth, so Bucky meets him halfway and deepens the kiss. Bucky loves the way Steve tastes on his tongue, and he can’t get enough. So _of course_ Steve decides that this is prime time to pull away.

“Okay,” Bucky says once he remembers how to breathe properly without having to kiss the air out of Steve. “Why am I blind exactly?”

“Because,”

“ _Because_ is not a good answer Stevie. C’mon, we’ve been over this before.”

Steve chuckles, “Do I need a reason to tell you why I want to kiss you?”

“ _Ha_ , good luck finding one Stevie,” Bucky laughs bitterly and closes his eyes. He lifts his arms up to stretch, only for Steve to grab his wrists and pin them above Bucky’s head. Bucky’s eyes fly open at the sudden movement, looking at Steve in shock and lust and hunger.

“Don’t. You. _Fuckin’._ Say. That. Again.” Steve growls, and Bucky can’t help but whimper at Steve’s sudden dominance. The blonde noses his way into the crook of Bucky’s neck and rolls his *naked* hips against Bucky’s *naked* hips, rubbing their erections together.  Bucky gasps as Steve begins to play with the skin of Bucky’s neck between his teeth as he continues, “I don’t wanna hear you say shit like that again.”

“Steve—” Bucky whimpers as Steve rolls his hips again and again as he continues to attack Bucky’s neck.

“No,” Steve says, interrupting him. “Do not. Got it?”

“Steve—”

_“Got it?”_

Bucky whimpers and lets out a small ‘uh huh’, which makes Steve grin against his skin. Steve stops biting at Bucky’s neck and kisses a trail up his neck and down his jaw, ending at his lips. Bucky watches him pause right as he’s about to kiss him, and look up instead to stare at him.

“Do you want a reason?”

Bucky can’t help but nod. Steve kisses him, long and deep, their lips moving together in perfect sync, before pulling away and making solid eye contact with Bucky.

“I love you.”

Bucky’s not sure he’s hearing right. Is he? Because it sounded like…………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bucky’s heart is bursting inside his chest, and he feels so happy and so blessed and— there’s no way to describe it. He just feels, _right_. _Oh my god, Steve loves me. Oh my god!_

He must be quiet for to long, because he hears Steve begin to talk again.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” Steve says, trying to cover up the sadness he’s feeling when Bucky doesn’t respond, but Bucky sees right through it. “I don't wanna pressure you or nothin’—”

Bucky surges upward, shutting up Steve with a kiss. _Ha ha, payback Steven_. He rolls them over so he’s on top of a very shocked blonde, and deepens the kiss, heatedly licking into Steve’s mouth as the latter wraps his arms around the lower part of Bucky’s back. They don’t stop kissing for what feels like hours, but Bucky knows it’s only been a few seconds, so he continues. With Steve’s face in both of his hands, and the blonde’s strong arms holding Bucky close, he feels like all of his life led up to this moment. To New York. To _Steve_. And he couldn’t be happier.

Bucky pulls away a fraction of an inch to whisper against Steve’s lips.

“I love you too Stevie.”

He opens his eyes to see Steve staring at him with a big dopey grin and fond eyes, and Bucky finds himself copying the look. Steve sits up and situates Bucky so he’s sitting in his lap. He wraps both arms around Steve’s neck and hooks his legs around Steve’s back, smiling when he feels Steve fold his legs criss-cross underneath him and wrap his arms around Bucky’s lower back again. Bucky closes his eyes and hums as they nuzzle their noses together, content and happy. Bucky opens his eyes again to kiss the tip of Steve’s nose, causing Steve to let out a breathy chuckle in return.

“What took us so long?”

“I have no idea.”

“You think Sam and Nat—”

“—had a bet going? Probably.”

Bucky groans over dramatically and drops his head on Steve’s shoulder. He feels Steve rub his back with one hand and pinch Bucky’s hip with another. Bucky jolts at the sudden force, but it’s worth it when he hears Steve laugh into his ear, then kiss right underneath the lobe.

“’S ok though,” Steve says as he continues kissing on the same spot under Bucky’s ear, which turns out to be one of Bucky’s favorite spots to be kissed. “I got you in the end, so it’s totally worth Sam losing probably over forty bucks.” Steve snorts. “But I’m definitely not losing this one Buck.”

Bucky sits up and stares at Steve accusingly.

“Did you—”

“—just make a—”

“—pun? Oh my god Stevie, of—”

“—course I did.” Steve grins over dramatically at Bucky, and Bucky can’t do anything else than roll his eyes.

“Oh god, we’re gonna be one of those couples, huh— wait… Steve?” He pauses, biting his lip. “Are we… like, together now, right?”

Steve laughs and kisses him. “Yes, we are very much a couple now Buck.”

“Good,” Bucky pulls away and stares at Steve. “Now I have a good reason to glare at all those people who throw you heart eyes behind your back.”

“Ha, oka—wait what?”

Bucky blushes, but keeps the smirk on his face. “I may or may not have been sending people death looks over the past four months since I met you.”

“Buck, you dirty dog. All those poor people…” Steve sarcastically remarks, but Bucky pales.

“Shit, Steve. I’m sorry, I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to be with me, it’s—”

Steve shuts him up. Boy, Bucky realizes that Steve has been doing that a lot this morning. Steve leans forward as they continue to kiss and lies Bucky on his back, Bucky’s arms and legs still wrapped around Steve.

“I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else but you Buck.” Steve murmurs against Bucky’s lips. “Only you.”

“I love you Stevie,”

“Love you too Buck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU’RE WELCOME


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He knows, don’t you bitch?” Alexander points at Bucky, completely disregarding the warning signs Steve is shooting him.
> 
> “What _promise_ Pierce?” Steve demands, slightly angling his body to shield Bucky just a tad.
> 
> “Ask your little cocksucker, he’ll tell you.”
> 
> “Steve…” Bucky mumbles against his neck, prompting Steve to look down with worried eyes. “Please… let’s… let’s go…”
> 
> Steve leans his head down a bit to whisper. “Baby, what did he tell you?”
> 
> “Steve…”
> 
> “No, you gotta tell me.”
> 
> Bucky pulls Steve impossibly closer before he whispers into his ear. “He… h-he threatened t-to… ra…rape m-me.” Bucky chokes out. “Steve please don’t le-let h-him. Don’t let him hurt m-me. Stevie don’t let h—”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Bucky will be singing in this chappie can be found here

“So, have you figured out who’s gonna be your plus one for Stark’s New Years Party?” Natasha asks three days later. Bucky hasn’t seen too much of her since the Christmas party at Sam’s. Actually, come to think of it, he hasn’t seen her, or anyone, since the party; besides Steve of course. He’s the reason why Bucky didn’t leave the apartment at all, but not that Bucky’s complaining, except his ass is a _little_ sore, and Steve had to carry him around the apartment two days ago, but still, Bucky’s not complaining.

Bucky hums over a sip of coffee, his eyes darting around the café that Natasha dragged him to. It’s small, quiet and cozy, so Bucky doesn’t really mind. “Yeah, I’ve got someone in mind,” _Steve_ , “so I just—”

“Because if not, there’s this guy that’s in my class who I could totally set you up with.”

Bucky almost chokes on his coffee and Natasha eyes him in shock, “What?”

“His name is Blake and he’s really—”

“Umm, thanks Nat, really. But, ah, I kinda already asked someone.”

Natasha stares at him. “Yeah, who?”

Bucky smirks and takes another sip. “My boyfriend,”

“You don’t have a boyfriend James,” She rolls her eyes disbelievingly.

“I do to!” Bucky stammers, trying to show he’s not lying.

“Sure James,”

Bucky glares, “I do, and I will bring him to the party, and you will see that I’m not lying.”

“Okay James, whatever you say hon.”

Little does Bucky know that she already knows about him and Steve being together;  Natasha is just messing around; Blake doesn’t even exist. The apartment complex doesn’t have very thick walls…

She knows everything.

___________________________________________________________

“Babe, I’m home!” Steve calls as he opens the door to the apartment, closing it behind him. He walks to the small coat rack hanging on the wall and shucks out of his giant snow jacket, hanging it up, along with his hat and gloves. He takes his keys out of his pocket and hangs them on the small key hook by the door as he hears footsteps approaching.

He turns and sees Bucky walking towards him in sweat pants and, is that? Yes, it’s one of Steve’s shirts. And damn, does Bucky look good in his clothing. Steve opens his arms when Bucky gets close enough and wraps his arms around Bucky’s lower back, prompting the latter to wrap his arms around his neck.

Steve leans forward and nuzzles their noses together. “Hey, how was your day?”

He hears Bucky hum happily as he responds, “Good. Met up with Nat for coffee after I went grocery shopping, and now I’m makin’ dinner. What about you?”

“Was good. But it’s better now,” 

“How so?” Bucky teases.

“Because I got to come home to you,” He closes the gap between their lips and gives Bucky a nice, long kiss; he feels Bucky’s lips curl against his and he does the same, because he’s so damned happy that Bucky is his. Bucky is Steve’s boyfriend. _Mine_.

Bucky makes a urgent noise suddenly, so Steve pulls away with a quizzical look on his face, a contrast to Bucky’s shit-eating grin.

“Okay, so I need to tell you something before I forget.” Bucky grabs his hands and leads him out of the hallway and into the main floorspace. Steve sits down on one of the barstools when Bucky lets go of his hands and walks around the counter to resume his dinner preparations, and Steve has to admit that his boyfriend has a pretty nice ass.

“Enjoying the view?” Bucky’s voice snaps Steve’s eyes away from the brunet’s ass and to his face, seeing Bucky looking over his shoulder and smirking. Bucky laughs and turns back around, stirring something in the pot with a wooden spoon.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Steve grumbles as his face flushes a deep red from being caught. “Your ass isn’t _that_ great Buck.”

“That’s not what you said last night, _or_ this morning Stevie.”

Steve groans and smacks his head on the counter top, enjoying the sound of Bucky’s laugh fluttering through the apartment. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Oh yeah, okay. So. Don’t tell Natasha, or anyone, that we’re dating. Not yet.”

Steve lifts his head, staring at Bucky in confusion. “Why not?” He’s met with another shit-eating grin.

“Nat asked me if I had asked anyone to be my plus one for Tony’s party in two days. She tried to ‘set me up’,” Bucky stops his task to make air quotes, “with some dude from her class or whatever, but I told her that I already invited my boyfriend. But she doesn’t believe me.”

Steve sees where this is going, “So you want to wait until the party, show up together, and watch the shock on their faces?”

“Exactly. Also, I want to know how much money Clint’s gonna lose from their betting pool.” Bucky looks over his shoulder and smiles wide.

Steve rolls his eyes, “Fine, okay. Sure.”

“Awesome Stevie. Now shoo, go take a shower, because you smell like stale coffee and ac… acry…acryl…” Bucky tries but fails.

“Acrylic, Buck.”

“Yeah yeah, that one.” Bucky waves the wooden spoon in the air affirmation. “You smell like acrylic paint.”

Steve laughs as he gets up from his seat, because Bucky still pronounces it wrong, and Bucky retaliates by flipping him off.

“Sure you don’t wanna join me babe?” Steve slides up behind Bucky and wraps his arms around his torso, kissing the back of his neck as he speaks to Bucky in a soft, sultry tone.

Bucky snorts. “Not if you want me to behave,”

“Who said I did?” Steve begins to teasingly lick and bite the back of Bucky’s neck, causing the brunet to shiver slightly and instinctively push his ass backwards into Steve’s crotch.

“What are you implying, Rogers?”

“You know exactly what, Barnes,”

Bucky stops his stirring and turns off the flame on the stove, “You’ve got twenty minutes Rogers,” Bucky turns in his arms and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, pulling him down for a scalding kiss. Steve reaches down and grabs Bucky’s ass, lifting him up and carrying him towards the shower.

It takes longer than twenty minutes.

“Dammit Steve, my ravioli!”

___________________________________________________________

“You nervous?”

“Nah, not really. I mean, how bad can it be?”

Bucky stares at him. “Have you met our friends?”

“Yeah…”

“Exactly. Wait, hold still.” Bucky turns Steve towards him and reaches forward, fixing the blonde’s tie and adjusting it. Steve looks at Bucky with an adoring expression, a smile taking over his face as he watches his boyfriend fix his lopsided tie. His _boyfriend_. God, that has such a nice ring to it.

Bucky finishes and smoothes out Steve’s suit jacket. Steve grasps his hands and pulls the other man closer. Thank goodness that they’re in the elevator alone, or Steve wouldn’t be able to do any of this.

“Hi,” He mumbles as he nuzzles his nose against Bucky’s.

“Hey,” Bucky says back with a smile.

Steve places a kiss on the tip of Bucky’s nose. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Just as Bucky finishes, the elevator chimes, signaling they’ve made it to their destination. Steve takes a step back and reaches for Bucky’s hand, chuckling when the brunet seems to have the same idea.

Casting a glance to Bucky, his _boyfriend_ , Steve takes a breath. “Here we go.”

The door opens, and the pair are met with colors of silver and blue throwing up all over the room. Lights are shining everywhere, reflecting off sweaty bodies and mile long streamers and banners depicting the words _‘Happy New Year!’_.

“Oh my god. Bucky, how many people did Stark invite to his New Year’s party?”

“No idea babe.”

Steve slowly but surely guides Bucky through the huge crowd of people, occasionally getting bumped and pushed by some drunk partiers, but that’s a norm for Stark’s guests. Eventually, they make it to the bar, where the rest of their friends are waiting. Upon their arrival, Clint and Sam turn, possibly to look for him and Bucky, when their eyes land on the pair, and their joined hands.

“Oh my god, no. No!” Sam exaggerates, wailing as he slaps down his shot glass onto the bar counter. “Dammit!”

“Pay up,” Maria chuckles, holding out her hand to a grumbling Sam, who places _$150_ into her palm.

“You too baby,” Natasha says, before she nonchalantly takes a sip of vodka. Clint sighs, and pays his wager as well.

Steve feels Bucky’s breath on his ear, sweet and warm. “Told ya they made a bet,”

Steve snorts and wraps his arm around Bucky’s waist, pulling him close and giving him a kiss on his head. “Yeah, they did.”

“Save it for the bedroom, please and thank you.” Sam yells at them, before turning his attention back to the bartender and ordering another round of drinks, because _‘I need to process all this, Steven’_.

The first couple hours go off without a hitch. Everyone is laughing and having a great time. A few guys had tried coming up to Bucky, possibly to ask the brunet if he wanted to dance, or if he wanted a quickie in the bathroom, but Steve and casually pulled Bucky tighter to his body, a clear sign to everyone to back the fuck off.

“There you are!” A female voice calls, rushing over to Bucky and grabbing his hand.

“Darcy, hey, this is St—”

“Hush, don’t have any time for that right now, you’re on in ten minutes! Let’s go!” She clearly isn’t taking no for an answer, so Bucky sends Steve an apologetic smile before he’s dragged off towards Tony’s stage.

“What was that about?” Steve asks, watching Bucky until the tuft of brown hair disappears from his line of sight. He feels so cold, so empty without him now; he just wants to follow them and wrap his arms around his best guy, but it’s too bad that he can’t actually _see_ them anymore.

“You’ll see,” Natasha says over yet another glass of vodka, implying that she knows _exactly_ what is going on. Jesus, how is she not drunk yet?

It’s the longest ten minutes of Steve’s life.

___________________________________________________________

“You ready?”

“Hell yeah.”

“You nervous.”

“Hell no.”

“You gonna slip and fall off the stage?”

“Hell ye— wait what?”

“Go get ‘em tiger!” Tony shoves Bucky in the direction of the stage, before he walks away and leaves the backstage area. Bucky just rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He hasn’t told Steve about this yet, and he hopes that he won’t be mad. Bucky did want to surprise him after all.

“Alrighty folks! Give a big hand to Austin and Michaela for that spectacular performance!” Darcy pauses on stage to let the crowd applaud, before she continues. “Okay, next up, we have a fabulous performer, coming all the way from two blocks away!” A wave of laughter goes through the crowd, which calms a nervous Bucky. “I give you, James Barnes.”

Bucky leaves the shelter of the curtain and walks to the center of the stage, catching the sight of Steve’s head wiping around so fast, it probably gives the blonde whiplash. Bucky watches with a huge grin, holding his microphone in his hand, as Steve’s eyes go wide with surprise and a grin of his own stretches across his face.

Turning, Bucky walks over to the microphone stand at the front of the stage, the applause hitting it’s highest note of the night as he prepares. He sticks the microphone into the stand and speaks, looking out into the crowd.

“Hey everyone, hope you’re having a good night so far.” Someone whoops loud in the crowd—probably Sam— and Bucky chuckles. “I’m gonna take that as a yes then. I just want to say thank you to Mr. Stark for letting me do this tonight; it’s a real honor. Well, guess I should shut my trap and actually get on with my song. One last thing; this song is dedicated to someone very special to me; you know who you are.” His eyes catch Steve’s, and he swears that he can actually spot some mist in the other man’s eyes. “I love you babe.”

He pretends not to notice Sam and Clint hand their respective girlfriends $20. Those fuckers.

Bucky winks at Steve before taking in a deep breath. Right before he starts, he hears the curtain behind him shuffle open, and a large gasp from the crowd. Bucky glances over his shoulder, and shock completely takes over his face. _What?_

A huge grin crosses Bucky’s face. There, behind him, are his friends from the recording studio. There’s DumDum sitting on a piano, shuffling his music papers neatly; Morita’s on the drums, twirling the sticks casually through his fingers; Falsworth and Gabe are holding guitars; Falsworth and DumDum both have microphones beside them, meaning that they’ll be doing back up. They all look at him as the curtain finishes rising, giving him shit-eating grins; so this was all planned. Of course. Bucky feels a new wave of confidence take over and he turns back around, grabbing the mic and taking a deep breath.

Falsworth starts on the guitar chords, and Bucky takes his cue.

 

_(Verse 1)_

_You walked into the room_

_And now my heart has been stolen._

_You took me back in time to when_

_I was unbroken._

_Now you’re all I want_

_And I knew it from the very first moment._

_‘Cause a light came on_

_When I heard that song_

_And I want you to sing it again._

 

DumDum, Gabe, and Morita join in at the beginning of the chorus, and Bucky can practically feel their smiles. Bucky is smiling too, because he’s singing for Steve.

 

_(Chorus)_

_I swear that every word you sing_

_You wrote them for me;_

_Like it was a private show_

_But I know you never saw me._

_When the lights come on and I’m on my own_

_Will you be there to sing it again?_

_Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?_

_Can I be him?_

 

Bucky keeps his eyes trailing sound the room, never focusing too long on any given person. This song is for _Steve_ , not them. The instruments begin to start the next verse, so Bucky snaps out of his own mind and continues.

 

_(Verse 2)_

_I heard there was someone but I know he don’t deserve you._

_If you were mine I’d never let anyone hurt you._

_I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips._

_It’s all I’ve been thinking about._

_‘Cause a light came on when I heard that song_

_And I want you to sing it again._

 

Bucky pulls the mic out of the stand, adding more energy to his movements as the chorus starts up again. The lights flash in time with the music, encasing the stage in black undertones and blue and purple stage lights. The crowd goes crazy when the rest of the gang gain more energy and momentum going into the chorus.

 

_(Chorus)_

_I swear that every word you sing_

_You wrote them for me;_

_Like it was a private show_

_But I know you never saw me._

_When the lights come on and I'm on my own_

_Will you be there to sing it again?_

_Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?_

 

_Can I be the one_

_Can I be the one_

_Can I be the one_

_Oh, can I, can I be him?_

 

_(Bridge)_

_Won't you sing it again_

_Oh, when you sing it again_

_Can I be him?_

_Won't you sing it again_

_Oh, when you sing it again_

_Can I be him?_

 

Bucky finally looks right at Steve, the climax of the song rising up higher and higher before he finally sings with his entire heart, closing his eyes and letting the music take him.

 

_I swear that every word you sing_

_You wrote them for me;_

_Like it was a private show_

_But I know you never saw me._

_When the lights come on and I'm on my own_

_Will you be there, will you be there?_

_Can I be the one you talk about in all your stories?_

 

_Can I be him_

_Can I be him_

_Can I be him_

_Can I be him?_

 

_(End)_

Bucky hopes that Steve knows just how much he loves him, because Bucky put his heart and soul into that performance. The crowd is going bonkers, some going as far as throwing small suit flowers onto the stage as a thank you. Bucky grins and bows, as does the rest of the group, before Bucky hops off the stage.

The crowd goes back to talking amongst themselves, ignoring the brunet as Darcy goes back onstage to welcome the next performer, subconsciously making an aisle for Bucky to pass. The crowd finally splits, and Bucky sees Steve at the end with a huge smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

Bucky doesn’t give a shit, he breaks out into a run. He collides with Steve’s hard muscle, the other man’s arms instantly wrapping around him and pulling him closer. Bucky tucks his face into Steve’s neck, laughing and smiling as he wraps his arms around Steve’s shoulders. Steve surprises him by picking him up and spinning him in a full circle, before he sets him down again.

Taking Bucky’s face in his hands, Steve speaks, “Oh my god baby, that was amazing.”

“Surprise?” Bucky jokes, but he genuinely hopes that Steve appreciated it.

“Yes, I was very surprised. Oh my god… Buck… baby…I…”

“Shh shh, hey now, no crying on me now. C’mon Stevie, baby don’t cry— _oof_.” Steve pulls him into another bone crushing hug before Bucky gets the chance to even finish his statement.

Steve peppers kisses all across Bucky’s face, muttering, “I love you. I love you I love you I love you.”

Bucky blushes intensely. “I love you too.”

Steve smiles at him, knocking their foreheads together, Bucky’s face still in the blonde’s hands. The sound of someone clearly their throat beside them pulls them apart, but Steve doesn't let Bucky get to far; snaking his arm around Bucky’s waist, Steve turns and faces the newcomer.

He’s not very tall, probably around 5’ 6”. He’s wearing a stiff grey suit, with his glasses resting atop his temple. Probably around thirty-five years old or so, Bucky’s not too sure.

“Sir, was that you up there just now, singing?”

Bucky tentatively looks at Steve, before turning and facing the other man.

“Y-yeah, yeah that was me. James Barnes, sir.” Bucky sticks out his hand in a warm gesture of greeting, receiving a big grin from this mystery man and a hand shake as well.

“Nice to meet you James. My name is Bryce Collinger, I’m an assistant director for the music studio in Los Angeles. Now, I don’t know if you’re accepting any agents at the moment, but here’s my card, and I would love to hear from you.”

Bucky accepts the card that is handed over to him by Mr. Collinger, reading it over before his eyes suddenly go wide.

“Wait, you’re—”

“Yes.”

“And you—”

“Uh huh.”

“And you did the—”

Mr. Collinger chuckles, folding Bucky’s hands over his business card. “Look, if you’re interested, give me a call. We’d love to have you; we’ve got a branch here in New York, so you wouldn’t have to leave. It’s only a couple blocks from here, really. Think about it.” Smiling, Mr. Collinger waves them away. “Have a good evening gentlemen.”

___________________________________________________________

Steve walks out of the bathroom with a yawn, shutting off the light and throwing the hand towel onto the sink. He leans against the door frame and watches _his_ boyfriend, who is currently lying down on his stomach on _their_ bed, searching something on the web, in nothing but some red boxers.

Steve smiles before walking over to the bed, kneeling atop it and kissing his way up Bucky’s spine with hot open-mouthed kisses, relishing in the way Bucky’s body shudders under his tongue. Steve ends his trail behind Bucky’s ear, nipping at the lobe before he rests his head of Bucky’s shoulder, looking the computer screen.

“You gonna call him?” Steve leans down, kissing and nipping at Bucky’s neck once he finishes speaking.

“Mmmm… yeah. Prob’ly in the mornin’ though, it’s too late right now.”

Steve snorts. “No duh, baby.”

Bucky lets out a small loving sigh as he closes his computer and somehow manages to tuck it under the bed.

“What?”

Bucky turns in Steve’s arms and looks up at him, smiling. “I just like it.”

“Like what?”

Bucky hums beneath him, eyes fluttering shut and left hand beginning to run through Steve’s short tuft of hair. “I like it when you call me that…..” Bucky mumbles shyly.

“Baby?” Steve asks, and Bucky nods, humming again and pushing his crotch upwards in an effort to touch Steve. Steve complies and presses down a little, feeling Bucky’s hard-on through his own sweatpants.

“You want somethin’ Buck?”

“Steve, don’t tease…” Bucky mutters, annoyed.

“You want somethin’ you gotta ask, baby.”

“Steve!”

“Okay, okay, ‘m sorry.” Steve chuckles, leaving the shelter of Bucky’s neck and kissing Bucky’s warm lips, slipping his tongue inside with a moan.

Steve takes his time teasing Bucky; slowly slipping those cute little red boxers from Bucky’s sun kissed legs and trailing kisses up and down his thigh. Steve pulls off his sweats and tee, but leaves his underwear on, opting to run the teasing just a bit longer.

Crawling over the other man, Steve sucks on a spot on Bucky’s neck that always seems to make the brunet writhe. Even though they’ve only know each other’s bodies intimately for a few days, Steve already knows it like the back of his hand.

He knows that one of Bucky’s favorite spots to be kissed is right beneath his ear, tucked just behind and underneath the lobe. He knows of the small specks of freckles that litter a small section of his ankle; knows that Bucky will try to hide himself when Steve gets too close to the scars, probably thinking that Steve would be disgusted with them, but he’s not. Steve loves every inch of Bucky, and will always manage to pry Bucky’s arms off of his shoulder so the blonde can kiss the mess of scar tissue, reminding Bucky that he’s _beautiful_ in Steve’s eyes. Steve would spend all his life reminding Bucky if he needed to, because _Bucky’s worth it_.

And when Bucky comes with a shout falling from his lips, Steve realizes that he has no intentions of leaving Bucky anytime soon. God, he just hopes Bucky feels the same.

Much later, after they have finished a few more rounds of “fondue”, Bucky is lying on his chest, drawing abstract patterns and shapes on Steve while the latter runs his fingers through his lover’s hair.

“I’m really proud of you, you know that?” Steve confides suddenly, making the brunet look up at him.

“For what?”

“Tonight. Baby, you’ve got no idea how wonderful you did.”

Bucky blushes, lying back down and cuddling into Steve’s side. “Thank you.” Bucky smiles against Steve’s chest, and Steve can tell by the speed of Bucky’s breath that he is on the verge of falling asleep.

“Tired?”

“Mmmm… yeah…” Bucky yawns, throwing an arm across Steve’s chest and entwining their legs. “Nghh… love you… (yawn)… Stevie.”

Kissing the top of Bucky’s head, Steve turns them both so that they are in a more comfortable position. Steve presses a kiss to the back of Bucky’s neck before whispering, “G’night babydoll…”

Bucky hums sleepily, and Steve can’t stop the small chuckle that escapes him. “You like that one too?”

Bucky nods.

“Okay, I’ll be sure to call you that more often then. Sound good baby?”

Bucky hums in affirmation, pressing a small kiss to Steve’s wrist. “Yeah, real good Stevie… real… real good…” Bucky barely manages to finish his sentence before he’s out like a light.

Steve chuckles again, pressing closer to Bucky and adjusting the covers slightly.

“G’night baby, I love you…”

He’s out, completely asleep, pressed against Bucky as he tumbles into a world of dreams.

___________________________________________________________

“Babydoll.”

“Muffin.”

“Sweet cheeks.”

“Honey.”

“Babe.”

“Lovey.”

“Honey bun.”

“Ha! I win, I already said honey!”

“Whatever.” Steve mumbles into Bucky’s jacket, the blonde pressing his chest to Bucky’s back and wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist.

“Ugh, can you guys actually fuckin’ not do that? It’s gross, and cute, and domestic, and… ughhh, not something I wanna see when I’m trying to order my damn _coffee_.”

“Don’t listen to him Stevie, he’s just jealous ‘cause Maria is helping the teachers set up the lecture hall instead of getting coffee with her boyfriend.”

Sam points at him with an accusing finger. “I’ll have you know that I am very proud of my girlfriend, thank you very much.” With that, Sam turns and ignores them, opting to order his drink instead of watching Bucky and Steve canoodle mercilessly in the quaint coffee shop.

Gathering their drinks, they head out of the shop and towards the school campus; Bucky holding Steve’s hand the whole way. They stop at a fountain near the library where they had agreed to meet up with Maria before class. Steve and Sam talk majority of the time, with Bucky propped up on Steve’s thigh, the blonde’s arm wrapped around his waist to prevent him from falling.

Bucky watches as Steve talks with Sam, laughing at something stupid the latter has most likely said. Bucky loves the way Steve’s eyes crinkle when he genuinely laughs, and the way his nose scrunches up when he snorts out a witty retort. He relishes in the way Steve’ll tip his head in understanding while listening to Sam talk about the Studio, and the way his big blue ocean-eyes brighten when he turns his head a bit and places a kiss on the tip of Bucky’s nose with a small little hum, before he goes back to talking with Sam.

Bucky knows for sure that Steve will most likely have laugh-lines on certain sections of his handsome face when he’s older. Oh course, Bucky know that Steve will grow old handsome, so it’s not any new news to him.

Wait.

Why is he thinking about an older version of Steve right now? They’ve only been together for almost two weeks now, so why is he having thoughts about growing old with Steve? Or getting married? Or adopting kids toget— wait what?? Bucky mentally calms himself down; they’ve only been dating for a little while now, and these are definitely not thoughts that should be filling his mind.

 _How would Steve look standing at the end of the aisle one day_ — dammit Bucky, _stop_.

He takes a sip of his almost finished coffee, only to find that it’s gone cold. Bucky looks down at Steve’s clear cup, and finds it empty as well. He reaches down and takes it out of Steve’s grasp, then stands up.

“Be right back,” Bucky says, calming Steve’s confused state.

Steve playfully swats Bucky’s ass, the brunet letting out a small yelp in surprise. “Don’t take too long.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Stevie.”

Bucky walks towards the library, seeing as how the nearest trashcan is by the doors. He throws the clump of plastic cups and straws into the bin before he turns around and walks back in Steve and Sam’s direction. He notices Maria approach the boys as he turns around, and waves at her. She waves back prompting Steve to get up and turn around, dramatically holding open his arms, and Bucky can’t help but laugh as he continues walking back to the fountain.

Suddenly, Steve’s hands fall to the side and curl into fists, a dark expression glazing over his face. Bucky doesn’t know what Steve’s staring at, until he hears a voice call out to him a few feet behind him.

“Barnes, didn’t I make myself clear to you?”

 _Alexander_.

___________________________________________________________

Steve looks up when he sees Maria frantically waving her hand to someone behind him. Chuckling, he shakes his head and stands up; he already knows it’s Bucky. He turns and holds his arms out a bit too dramatically, watching with adoration in his eyes as Bucky laughs out in response but continues walking none the less. Just when Bucky is a few yards away, Steve sees _him_.

That fucking jackass better not— oh my god. He’s… he’s _talking_ to Bucky?? Oh shit.

Steve watches as Bucky’s eyes snap to his, pupils blown in fear and anxiety. He can even see his poor baby _shaking_ from here. Damn you Alexander.

Steve walks toward the pair, relief flooding over him when Bucky takes a few need steps forward and crawls into his arms, wrapping his arms around Steve’s body and looking up at him shakily.

“Can I help you?” Steve asks, trying to keep it polite, but after all the shit that Alexander has put Bucky through, Steve is just a bomb waiting to explode.

“Yeah, actually. Hand over the fag and this all ends peacefully.” If anything, Steve’s arms hold Bucky tighter.

“Don’t call him that.”

Alexander ignores him. “Look, I’m here to make up on a promise I gave to your little slut a while back. He clearly doesn’t take orders well.”

“You have no right to order him around,” Steve remarks coldly.

“Look, man. We know each other. C’mon! We went to high school together! Just hand ‘im over and everything will be fine!”

“No.”

“I’m not one to back out of a promise, Steven.”

“What promise?” Steve questions, narrowing his eyes. He feels Bucky still for a few seconds, before he starts shaking twice as much, a small strangled gasp leaving his lips as he holds Steve tighter, watching Alexander with wary eyes.

“He knows, don’t you bitch?” Alexander points at Bucky, completely disregarding the warning signs Steve is shooting him. Steve is holding back from every instinct that’s telling him to let go of Bucky and punch Alexander’s face in. If Alexander keeps up this mantra, he’s not leaving without something broken.

“What _promise_ Pierce?” Steve demands, slightly angling his body to shield Bucky just a tad.

“Ask your little cocksucker, he’ll tell you.”

“Steve…” Bucky mumbles against his neck, prompting Steve to look down with worried eyes. “Please… let’s… let’s go…”

Steve leans his head down a bit to whisper. “Baby, what did he tell you?”

“Steve…”

“No, you gotta tell me.”

Bucky pulls Steve impossibly closer before he whispers into his ear. “He… h-he threatened t-to… ra…rape m-me.” Bucky chokes out. “Steve please don’t le-let h-him. Don’t let him hurt m-me. Stevie don’t let h—”

Steve doesn’t hear anymore of the pleas Bucky is letting out. How _dare_ Alexander think he could get away with raping his baby. How _fucking_ dare he. Steve honestly cannot comprehend what is actually going on, but one second he’s holding his baby in his arms, and the next, he’s striding forward and clocking Alexander in the face.

He sticks his arm out, grabbing a fistful of Alexander’s shirt, pulling him towards him as he makes another blow. Steve hears a distinctive _crunch_ , and he realizes that he just _broke_ Alexander’s nose and cheek bone.

He pulls Alexander close, smirking angrily when he shudders beneath his arms. “You touch him again; you talk to him again; you do _anything_ to him again; I fuckin’ swear that I will make your life a living hell. Do you understand?”

Alexander has the audacity to smile up at Steve. “Sure thing, cupcake.”

One more punch to the face knocks Alexander out cold. He sets the other man down on the ground and steps away, letting other students who had witnessed the whole argument flutter around the unconscious man on the ground.

Steve walks to Bucky and wraps his arms around him, pulling him close and never letting go.

“Steve…” Bucky mumbles against his neck, and Steve can feel Bucky shaking again, and hear a hitch in his voice.

“Shh… it’s okay, it’s okay baby. He’s not gonna hurt you.”

Steve tenderly rubs his hand over Bucky’s back, looking over the brunet’s shoulder to see Maria with tears in her eyes and Sam hugging her close, looking at Steve.

 _Take him home, he can’t go to class after what just happened_ , Sam signs to him, and Maria repeats the signal herself, adding, _I’ll talk to the instructor about his assignments, just go_.

Steve nods at them, kissing the side of Bucky’s head. “Let’s go home.”

Bucky shakes his head. “But we’ve got c-class—”

“It’s okay baby, I know. I know. But let’s go. Let’s go home.”

Finally, Bucky nods. “‘M ‘kay. Le… let’s go.”

Slinging his arm around Bucky’s shoulder protectively, Steve walks them off the campus and to the car. When they get to the apartment complex, Steve holds Bucky’s hand the whole way to their door.

Entering their apartment, Steve shuts the door behind them and wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t t-tell you Steve.”

“It’s okay baby… it’s… it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Steve I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad baby. I’m sorry Stevie, don’t be mad.”

Steve leans back a bit, reaching his arms up and bringing his hands to Bucky’s face. His baby’s eyes are red rimmed, tears threatening to fall. Steve caresses his cheeks with his thumbs. “Oh baby no. Easy, easy… I’m not mad. C’mon,” Steve somehow manages to ease Bucky towards the couch, sitting him down before he takes a seat as well.

Steve picks up the remote and selects a channel at random, not exactly paying mind to whatever he selected. He cuddles Bucky to his chest, and soon enough, the brunet is asleep, his breath hitching quietly in his sleep.

Slowly but surely, Steve manages to rise from the couch without disturbing Bucky’s sleep. He walks into their bedroom and shuts the door, before he pulls his phone from his pocket and dials.

“This better be fuckin’ important Rogers for you to call me on my break,” Comes the response immediate when the line connects.

“Nice to hear from you too Natasha.”

“Yeah yeah Rogers. What’cha want?”

“It’s about Bucky…”

There’s a couple beats of silence before the redhead responds. “What happened.”

Steve breaks down, recalling and retelling the events from earlier in the morning in tears. He felt like he has, in some way, failed Bucky. Failed to keep him safe. Failed to keep him protected. He _failed_.

“Steven Grant Rogers, you listen to me and you listen well. You did _not_ fail him. You have never failed that poor kid, ever. You hear me? _Never_. I know you would give your life for that idiot, right?”

Steve nods, even though she can’t see him, and his response is immediate. “Yes.”

“Okay, see? I trust you to take care of him Steve, I know you wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.”

“But Pierce—”

“Leave him to me. I’ve been waiting to do this for years.” And with that, the line clicks, ending their conversation. He’s baffled by her ending statement, completely confused by what she means. But he gets his response a few hours later at dinner.

Steve’s in the kitchen, making dinner when he finally understands what Natasha meant in their earlier conversation over the phone.

“Steve! Steve come quick!”

“What’s wrong Buck?” Steve calls back, setting down his chopping knife and wiping his hands with a towel before he slings the cloth over his shoulder. Bucky comes running into the kitchen, wearing Steve’s shirt and a pair of his sweatpants—they had both changed clothes after Bucky had woken up from his nap, opting for some comfortable sweats to lounge around in. Bucky’s got a shocked smile on his face as he reaches out for Steve’s hands.

“C’mon, c’mon! You gotta see this!”

Steve lets himself be led into the living room, and shock covers his own face when he sees what’s being broadcast on the TV.

“—reports show that Pierce has several accounts of attempted rape, and even _kidnapping_. Fellow students say that he has even tried pulling stunts similar to this among the staff members of the university.

“This video was shot this morning at the NYU. It depicts Pierce and two unknown **_victims_** having a disagreement. Let’s watch.”

The TV screen flashes open a grainy phone camera video, showing Steve, Bucky, and Pierce. The video starts with Steve walking over to Bucky, taking the brunet into his arms and away from Pierce. The camera however, is so far away, that it isn’t picking up on the dialogue of the argument. Steve has to resist the urge to laugh when he hears Macy, one of the reporters, gasp in surprise when the Steve on the video throws a punch.

Todd, the other reporter, actually starts laughing. “Oh man, what a swing! Oh wait, am I allowed to take sides on air?” Someone from behind the scenes says that it’s fine, so Todd sighs in relief and takes sip of his coffee.

The screen goes back to the two reporters, and Steve instinctively wraps his arm around Bucky’s waist, waiting to hear what he himself might be charged for, since he was the one throwing punches. Assault? Threat?

The answer isn’t at all what he expects.

“Since we couldn’t hear what was being said during the argument, we interviewed students who were present during this argument, and… oh gosh, can I even say this on TV?” Macy asks Todd, handing him the report to look over.

“No! Oh man, okay… umm let’s just say that Pierce said some very… _colorful_ words; however, both unknown victims seen in the video said nothing vulgar, just so we’re clear.”

Macy nods at him, and continues. “After speaking to NYPD officials and detectives, whoever this mysterious man who was seen in the video punching Pierce, don’t worry. If you’re watching this broadcast right now, do not worry. There are no charges against you for this act. NYPD officers have analyzed this video, and show your actions as those out of self-defense.

“There will be more of this story later on as we wait for reports from the NYPD interview with Alexander Pierce taking place later this evening.” Then Todd and Macy go on to talk about the weather and the stock market, but Steve isn’t paying any mind to that.

He looks over at his boyfriend and sees tears brimming his eyes and a huge, grateful smile on his lips. Stepping over to Bucky, Steve wraps his arms around him with a laugh, tears of joy trailing down his cheeks.

“He’s… Steve he’s gone. He’s…” Bucky can’t even formulate a sentence, he’s to overwhelmed with shock and joy that he’s apparently lost all his knowledge of grammar. So has Steve, too. He picks up Bucky, spinning him around and kissing him with a huge smile.

“He’s gone Buck. He’s gone.”

 _Thank you Natasha_ , Steve thinks. _Thank you thank you thank you_.


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good luck out there, kiddo.”
> 
> “Thanks Sam, I… I wouldn’t be here without you and Maria. I owe you all.”
> 
> Maria shakes her head, placing her hand atop his. “You don’t owe us anything, hon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please listen to this song while reading: Riptide (FlicFlac Remix) find song here  
> This is the song that Bucky will be singing in this chappie, and the rhythm is super great and adds a bunch of _life ___to this.  
>  If you don’t do this, it might make this chapter not as “lively”, so seriously listen to it :)

**Epilogue**

**Two Years Later**

 

“Good luck out there, kiddo. Again.”

“Thanks Sam, I… I wouldn’t be here without you and Maria. I owe you all.”

Maria shakes her head, placing her hand atop his. “You don’t owe us anything, hon.”

Bucky smiles at her, and pulls the both of them into a tight embrace. He releases them when his stage manager Lucia comes by.

“Okay James, you’re back on again in less than five. Last song of the night, huh?”

He nods. “Yeah, last one, then I can go home and sleep.”

“Ha, I know the feeling James. I’ll come get you thirty seconds before show time. Be ready.”

“Yes ma’am,” He teases, and she shoots him an unamused look as she scampers off.

Bucky feels a warm pair of arms slide around his torso, and he can’t help but lean into the familiar embrace, smiling when he feels plush lips on the back of his neck. Suddenly, he feels something hard press up against the back of his right thigh.

“Do you have something in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Steve hums, repeatedly continuing to kiss Bucky’s neck. “I’m always happy to see you, baby. But yes, I’ve got something in my pocket.”

Bucky snorts, turning in Steve’s arms, nuzzling his nose against the blonde’s. “Uh huh, I’m sure you do.” Bucky remarks sarcastically.

“I do!” Steve tries to prove, making Bucky roll his eyes.

“Okay, okay. I believe you, I’m sorry.” Bucky kisses Steve’s nose, making the blonde chuckle, before he surges forward and kisses Bucky on the lips.

They break apart after a few seconds, and Steve rests his forehead against Bucky’s. “I love you, you know that right?”

Bucky nods, slightly confused, but he doesn’t let it show. “I know, I love you too Stevie.”

Steve’s been acting… _weird_ … these past couple weeks. Nothing bad of course, nothing bad, just… weird. Staring at him for just a little bit longer, kissing him deeper when he says goodbye to head to the coffee shoppe for work, being _way_ more sappy than Bucky thought possible, and being slow and sensual during sex. Bucky’s not worried though; he knows that Steve would never cheat on him, or do anything to hurt him. And if he wasn’t happy, he’d tell him; he wouldn’t keep Bucky guessing.

“James,” Lucia whispers, breaking Bucky out of his trace. “You’re on.”

Bucky nods, regretfully letting go of Steve and giving him a quick kiss. “Okay, I gotta go.”

Steve smiles, reciprocating the kiss before he says, “Okay baby, I know. Good luck out there.”

Bucky grins shyly, giving Steve a hug before he walks to the curtain, staring at the stage.

Bucky looks back, giving a two finger salute to his boyfriend, who chuckles, shoving his hands in his pockets. “See you out there, babe.” Steve calls, before he walks away.

Bucky really should have paid more attention to Steve’s choice of words.

Bucky skips out on the stage, a huge smile on his face when the crowd goes absolutely _nuts_. They’re all chanting his name, girls and guys alike screaming at the top of their lungs. He runs a hand through his hair; no matter how many times he’s performed, his audience always seems to be the most crazy during his last songs.

“Goooood evening, New York!” Bucky shouts into his microphone, throwing one hand up in the air. If the crowd wasn’t loud enough a few seconds ago, they certainly are now. The lights on the stage start to lower and instead begin to pulsate the colors blue and white along with the beat of the music that begins to crackle over the speakers, signaling for the crowd to "shut up" so Bucky can start.

 

_(Verse 1)_

 

_I was scared of dentists and the dark._

_I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations._

_All my friends are turnin’ green,_

_You’re the magician’s assistant in their dreams._

 

_(Bridge)_

_Oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oh oh, and they come unstuck_

 

The background music whistles and booms, and Bucky skips across the stage, clapping his hands and encouraging the crowd to do so as well. They catch on immediately, and Bucky couldn’t be more proud. He’s so happy that his agent and Lucia let him sing this remix, because he’s getting high off the reaction from the crowd.

 

_(Verse 2)_

_There’s this movie that I think you’ll like;_

_This guy decides to quit his job_

_And head to New York City_.

_This cowboy’s runnin’ from himself,_

_And she’s been livin’ on the highest shelf._

 

_(Bridge)_

_Oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oh oh, and they come unstuck._

_Lady, runnin’ down to the riptide._

_Taken away to the dark side,_

_I wanna be your left hand man._

_I love you, when you’re singin’ that song,_

_And, I’ve got a lump in my throat ‘cause_

_You’re gonna sing the words wrong._

 

Bucky strides to the side of the stage as the crowd continues to clap along to the music. He runs along the edge of the stage, reaching out and grasping some lucky audience members hands, making some people go _crazier_ than they already were. The lights flash on and off, alternating from blue and white and silver, and it looks _beautiful_.

 

_(Bridge)_

_Oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oh oh, and they come unstuck_

 

_(Verse 3)_

_I just wanna, I just wanna know,_

_If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay._

_And I just gotta, I just gotta know._

_I can’t have it, I can’t have it any other way._

 

_I just wanna, I just wanna know,_

_If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay._

_And I just gotta, I just gotta know._

_I can’t have it, I can’t have it any other way._

_I swear she’s destined for the scene._

_Closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer_

_That you’ve ever seen, oh._

 

_(Bridge)_

_Lady, runnin’ down to the riptide._

_Taken away to the dark side,_

_I wanna be your left hand man._

_I love you, when you’re singin’ that song,_

_And, I’ve got a lump in my throat ‘cause_

_You’re gonna sing the words wrong._

 

_Ohh lady, runnin’ down to the riptide._

_Taken away to the dark side,_

_I wanna be your left hand man._

_I love you, when you’re singin’ that song,_

_And, I’ve got a lump in my throat ‘cause_

_You’re gonna sing the words wrong._

 

Bucky’s near sweating at this point, but he keeps going, laughing with a huge smile on his face as the audio continues.

 

_(Bridge)_

_Oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

 

_(Bridge)_

_Oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oooooooh oooooh ohh_

_Ah oh oh, and they come unstuck._

 

Bucky claps along with the crowd as the audio finally finishes, a huge roar of shouts and applause emanating from the audience. Bucky bows dramatically, causing some members of the huge crowd to laugh.

“Wow! I just… wow!” Bucky shouts of the microphone, receiving another round of applause. “I just want to thank all of you, for being the best fucking fans a guy could ever ask for! I love you all!”

“Ah! And here I’m thinking that you loved me, Buck!” A voice suddenly teases over the speakers. The crowd sees Steve before Bucky does, making them erupt in screams and ‘ _oh my god!”_ s. They all know Steve from Bucky’s social media feed and from interviews, press conferences, and album signings that the singer attends. He didn’t want to leave Steve alone at home, so he always dragged the blonde with him to shows and parties. They’ve even showed upon the cover of a magazine once; the picture depicting them laughing together as Steve had his arm around Bucky’s waist as they talked to music producers and recorders.

Bucky’s head snaps towards the direction of his boyfriend’s voice, and he sees the blonde walking onto the stage, blushing slightly and waving at the crowd as he makes his way towards Bucky. He’s never been one for crowds, really.

“Hey baby,” Steve says into his microphone to Bucky, making a bunch of girls in the audience scream.

“Steve?” Bucky’s smiling, a little shocked. “What’re you—what, wait what?”

Steve reaches out to grab Bucky’s left hand, staring at him intensely as his thumb rubs small circles on the back of Bucky’s hand, not answering his question. One touch, and Bucky nearly forgets that the audience is watching. They’ve all gone silent, each person straining to hear what Steve is saying.

“James Buchanan Barnes, the first time I met you, I was saving your ass in an alleyway, where you so _ungracefully_ passed out in my arms.”

“Hey, that wasn’t my fault!” Bucky weakly protests, causing a chuckle to emit from Steve as well as a few people in the crowd.

“Ever since that day, you’ve become the most important person in my life. Meeting you was single handedly the best thing that ever happened to me; even if it wasn’t under the _best_ circumstances.”

Bucky laughs wetly at that, causing Steve to smile even fonder.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, more than you even know. Waking up to you everyday is the greatest start to the morning that I can possibly think of. Seeing you go off to work is, well, I’ll admit, I hate it… seeing you leave and all, but I know you have to. Watching you stand out here and sing like no one is watching; it’s the greatest sight imaginable. And, well… I want to see it for the rest of my life.”

Steve lets go of his hand and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small black box before he gets down on one knee, taking Bucky’s microphone out of his hand and setting it on the ground; good thing too, because Bucky would have dropped. Bucky’s hands fly up to his face and cover his mouth in shock. The crowd gasps and cheers around them.

He looks down as Steve settles onto his knee, opening the box to reveal a small silver band, pillowed in a velvet heaven.

“James Buchanan Barnes, will you marry me?” Steve asks into the microphone, staring up at Bucky.

Bucky nods wetly, tears slipping from his eyes and running down his cheeks in pure shocked joy. “Yes,” He mumbles, watching as tears slip from Steve’s eyes as well. Steve sets his own microphone down onto the ground beside him, before he reaches up and takes Bucky’s left hand. Bucky watches the slim band slide effortlessly onto his finger, and notices a small _“I love you”_ etched into it in cursive writing.

Steve stands up, and Bucky throws his arms around his shoulders, laughing and crying as Steve wraps his arms around his waist. The audience is clapping and cheering and wolf-whistling and yelling; Bucky’s just so damn _happy_.

Steve spins him around, holding him tight as Bucky buries his face into Steve’s neck, kissing the crook of it over and over and over. _I get to do this for the rest of my life_ , Bucky thinks. _Oh my god, I’m gonna marry Steve. Oh my… oh my god. I’m getting married. We’re… I get to marry Steve. Thank you God. Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me marry one of your angels. I know I don’t deserve him, and that he can do better than me, but… thank you Lord. Thank you, that Steve loves me, and I love him… oh my gosh, thank you._

Steve finally sets him on the ground, and Bucky immediately grabs his face in both hands and kisses him stupid, right there on stage. Steve’s smiling against his lips, chuckling from pure happiness.

They break apart after a few seconds, realizing that this is all public, knocking their foreheads together.

“Steve… this is actually happening, right? You wanna marry me?”

Steve nods with a chocked sob. “Yes baby. Yes this is happening. I love you so much Bucky, I-I can’t imagine a life without you in it.”

Bucky smiles wider, kissing Steve again. “Good, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Me too Buck, me too.”

 

**_Fin_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ### Stage Kisses
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> Idk who made this^^, but it’s absolutely goLD. Photo creds to whoever made this manip. (If you made this and would like it removed, let me know and I’ll get right to it) :)
> 
> I want to give all of you who read this story a great big THANK YOU! All your support and encouragement means the world to me, and I can’t thank you all enough for making this an incredible journey. I cried while writing some parts of this story, and I know that a couple of you cried with me. (legit my friend almost started crying in class while reading one of the chappies)(You know who you are!!) ;)
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> I had so much fun writing this story, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it as well!
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> **SOME BIG NEWS!!**
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> Mmm ‘kay, it’s not that big of news, but I’m gonna humor myself and call it big news. ANYWays, I’ve got another Stucky fic in the works, and (hopefully) I’ll get to posting it either by the VERY end of January, or sometime in February. I know it’s a while away, but I’ll make it up to you all. ;)
> 
> Yes, it’s gonna be Stucky/Modern-Au, and it’s gonna be chaptered, with SKINNY STEVE!!!! I’ve been dying to write him, and so far I’m loving his “sass in a small package" deal that he’s got goin’ on. Some exciting news about this though: the ENTIRE story will be from Steve’s POV!
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> Don’t worry though, I haven’t forgotten about my baby Bucky. It’s gonna be a series; one fic will be entirely Steve’s POV, and the other fic will be Bucky’s.
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> I’ve already got an aesthetic lined up and made for it, so I’m really really excited, actually. :)
> 
> This story has been an incredible one to share with all of you, but like my friend told me (you’re gonna know who you are dammit), “When there is an ending, a new beginning occurs.”
> 
> And that is some very true shit right there, pay attention folks^^. I love you all, and I’m nearly in tears because this story is over, and…………. I’ll see you next time my lovelies :,)

**Author's Note:**

> Be sure to leave a kudos/comment if you like it :)  
> See you next time, lovelies!


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